31 Days of Scoobyween
by Chunk127
Summary: Buffy finds quite the interesting book at Ethan's on that fateful Halloween with 31 short stories inside.
1. Prologue

Buffy looked around the new shop putting down the shouting pumpkin that spooked her. She looked down and saw a big black book with an orange Scooby Doo face on the cover. She opened the first page read the title and looked at it confused. "31 days of Scoobyween?"

Buffy's eyes widen seeing a picture of her Xander and Willow. She hesitates for a moment about getting the other two but changes her mind. Knowing her luck the book will disappear if she leaves to get them so she turns the page and started to read the book.

* * *

Author's Notes

The following depicts thirty one times the scoobies dressed as something different for the Halloween episode.

1. I don't and will never own Buffy or any of the costumes they're wearing in case I forget in the chapter.

2. This will contain violence, character death, and beyond.

3. The tags will change everyday until November when the four most featured characters will be the permanent tags.

4. Spike is the villain of the Halloween episode if you're a fan of him these might not be for you.

5. This will have an M rating eventually it's necessary for one chapter at least

6. Enjoy and Happy Halloween


	2. Chapter 1: It's Still Real to Xander

Xander smiled looking at this costume. It's perfect for lack of a better term. Being a monster will certainly perk his spirits up since Buffy did all but actually castrate him earlier today with Larry. He doesn't care if he has to dip into the road trip fund he is getting this costume.

Xander anxiously collected the costume and went to pay. Buffy looked at him and his costume the red and black bodysuit with one long sleeve and on the other side nothing, the one leather glove, the red and black mask, long hair wig, and black body paint. "You do realize it's not an actual character right. None of it is real."

"Didn't someone say Halloween is come as you aren't night. Badass slayer to weak little princess. Therefore Buffy's worthless sidekick in a fight, big tall monster tonight." Xander rushed to the counter greeting Ethan. "So, how did you get a costume so fast? He hasn't even been around for a month."

Ethan smiled wondering what this would do to the kid. He was curious since the debut. "Oh he ripped the pants and I brought it, shrunk it, and patched it up see." He points at the leg. "I also have a lot more from his brother when he wore purple."

Xander put his hands up. "Nah, I want to be the evil one."

* * *

Xander looked around in his mask as the Halloween spell took hold. He saw a little demon charge him and quickly put his foot up booting him in the face. Another demon charged him and Xander just punched him in the face knocking him down. A badly dressed tiny vampire went to charge him and Xander quickly wrapped one hand around the vampire's throat as Xander ducked under a punch and hoisted him up in the air by his throat and slammed him into a car obliterating the roof and glass as all the demons fled getting the message.

"Xander"

Xander turned around and tilted his head seeing a trashy redhead but she's cute.

Willow looked at him. "I know how this looks and something weird is going on. I was dressed as a ghost and now I am a ghost. And you were dressed as Kane and now I guess… you are Kane?"

Kane quietly just walked right through Willow not even stopping to acknowledge she was a ghost.

"Wait… stop…" Willow said desperately then got a new idea. "I can take you to the Undertaker."

Kane stopped in his tracks and turned around the phenom is going to pay for what he did to him.

Willow smiled in relief. "Good, just stay with me and do as I say. Then I'll tell you where the Undertaker is." Kane nodded in agreement. "Now we just have to find… Buffy!"

Kane and Willow run up to the noblewoman. The trio turn at the roar of a demon.

"Buffy, what do we do?" Willow asked.

Buffy replied by fainting. Kane looked at the demon and moved his arms up and down as a fireball came from the sky and hit the demon as it fluttered about on fire before combusting to dust.

* * *

Willow looked at the result she really hopes that wasn't a kid. "OK rule one you can only light on fire the people I tell you to."

Kane twitched in pain as a vampire dug in on his unclothed arm gnawing and scratching to get to his blood.

Willow nearly growled at the vampire. Not believing this she's forced helpless but she can't watch Xander be hurt. She angrily grabbed the vampire and to her surprise yanked it off.

Kane head butted the vamp wobbling him before running full force and kicking him in the head knocking his fangs out. Willow got Kane's attention and the trio went for Buffy's house.

* * *

Kane walked into Buffy's house carrying Buffy in his arms. As Willow walked through the walls and they were greeted by another scream from outside.

Willow rolled her eyes recognizing it. "Kane you gotta go save that girl remember no killing."

Kane went out and after Willow heard something equivalent to a car wreck, Kane came back in with Cordelia as the cheerleader turned to Willow confused.

Willow looked at her and answered. "Your name is Cordelia you're not a cat and we're your friends sort of. Kane follow me please."

"Yeah, you went mental when?" Cordy asked.

Willow looked at her in confusion. "You remember everything."

"Yeah, lucky me, what's going on?" Cordy asked.

"Just watch Buffy they have some sort of amnesia. I'll explain after I take care of Xander's arm." Willow finished.

Cordy watched him go, Xander had a nice face seven foot body with those muscles if that was him. No wonder Willow wants to play nurse.

* * *

Kane sat down in the chair as Willow instructed. Willow focused deeply and was able to pull iodine and bandages from the sink focusing on them. Wanting them really badly seems to be the key.

Willow pours the Iodine and Kane shoots up violently trying to put his hand around her throat but he goes right through her.

Willow sighed in relief. "I'm sorry, I should have warned you that it stings." Kane sat back down as Willow dug deep unaware yet to be discovered magical potential was helping her as she bandaged Kane's arm. "So I take it you already figured out this isn't your world."

Kane silently nodded.

Willow bandaged up his arm. "The body you're using belongs to a very good friend of mine. Odds are he won't remember this like the hyena and since you don't talk my secret's definitely safe with you. I love Xander and thank you for beating the demons and helping me since it protected him. It's just hard seeing him and knowing he's so obsessed with every other girl but me. Even new girl Buffy and demons. So what's wrong with me I ask you?"

Kane reaches up to touch Willow's cheek but his hand just goes right through her.

"Intangible, but it means something you tried." Willow replied grateful. "Now I have to go see a friend of mine so you can get back to kicking Undertaker's butt, so try to stay here and protect Cordy and Buffy OK."

Kane simply nods as Willow walked right through the door. Kane came in and saw some little punk with spiky hair talking to Cordy. Kane quickly put his hands around his throat and lifted him up off the floor with a double hand choke.

"No, no, no… Angel friend, put him down he's like a care bear with fangs." Cordy insisted.

Kane nodded and slammed Angel down through the wooden table obliterating the table but not staking Angel as his game face comes out. He turns around and sees Buffy as Willow told him has ran off and quickly gave chase to keep his word.

* * *

Kane caught up to the weakened Slayer a few blocks up and quickly kicks a pirate in the face for getting too close to her. The Pirate gets up wobbly and Kane punches him in the face knocking him to a dumpster. Kane grabs him by the throat with a sinister smile and lifts him into the air by his throat and slams him right through the dumpster lids with a chokeslam into the trash. Kane doesn't know why but it felt really good hitting that guy, almost like he was hitting the Undertaker.

Kane turned around and walked right into a shovel shot that knocked him out.

Spike smiled seeing the slayer curdled up in the corner. According to Dru all he had to do was knock out the slayer's dragon which is most likely Kane given he sets the stage on fire, drops a scrub wrestler on his head, and then moves on. Cool costume though.

Angel runs up and a group of demons grab him and Cordelia. "Don't do that."

Spike smiled. "Oh, no… I do that."

Angel smiled seeing Kane sat up. "Behind you Willy?"

Spike turned around and quickly grabbed the shovel. "Bloody hell!" He hits Kane with the shovel again this time breaking it over his head and knocking him out again. Or so he thought until Kane sat right back up again.

Lady Buffy stays on the floor as Cordy and Angel watch Kane get to his feet and grab the shovel shovel stick, rip it from Spike's hand and proceed to break it over his back.

The two watch as Kane unloads on Spike with a fury of punches to his face.

"Wow, Spike has one hell of a chin." Angel quipped. "Look at him take those punches."

They're eyes move left and right following the movements. "And a big boot" Cordy added while the beating continued. "And a sidewalk slam." She watches as Kane picks up Spike by the throat with one hand and slamming him from seven feet to the pavement. "Along with a chokeslam"

Angel watched as Kane lifted Spike off the floor and looked at his face for moment before snatching the vampire into his arms and turning him one eighty upside down placing Spike's head close to his knees. "What the hell is he doing?"

"Oy, I'm not that kind of vampire." Spike warned except for one night with Angel.

Cordy realized this isn't going to be pretty.

Angel watched the attack and only screamed "Holy... damn!" How come Angelus never thought of something like that?

"And finally… the tombstone pildriver." Cordy finished as she turned to Kane who has shrunk by at least a foot.

* * *

Xander removed the mask and came back in control of his body wondering what the hell is wrong with Vince McMahon considering Kane's past. He sees Spike trying to crawl away and the very least his spine is shattered from a tombstone on concrete. He waves his arms up and down making a wall of fire in front of him getting a little perk from Halloween in the form of pyromancy. Along with very graphic threats from Kane if he should ever hurt… Willow.

Buffy picks up the shovel stake and kills Spike only to see Xander starting to run. "Where are you going?"

"I have to find Willow." Xander answered.

Buffy could only smile hearing that watching him disappear in the distance. "Well, it's about time."

* * *

Xander ran up to a house and saw Willow in her Boo! as she got to her feet and took the thing off. Which she took a moment and threw it out with a new line of confidence. Xander was stuck drooling at her in her red top and black leather skirt. He thought that was just part of the ghost. Why didn't she think she can show him that.

Willow stopped and saw her Xander shaped friend Xander shaped again. "Oh you're OK."

Xander smiled and made a little fireball incinerating the ghost costume in the trashcan. "More or less a last present from Kane making sure I'd protect you."

Willow suddenly turned a bright shade of red maybe she can still save the ghost costume. "Oh, um, you remember all that."

"Yeah, really, really twisted things." Xander answered.

Willow looked away. "I-I... not me, what do we do now, I or the me and you..."

Xander looked at her and just kissed her and seeing it work as it calms her down and she kisses back. "First, I apologize to you for being a blind fool."

"Not a fool, dope, I mean Buffy, demons, and teachers." Willow supplied.

"And you were a girl too all this time and I was an oblivious idiot to the incredible, beautiful woman you are. I'm ashamed it took the eyes of a stranger for me to see it. So here I stand in all my dopeishness."

Willow smiled and kissed him this time leading as Xander returned it to her. She's smooching with Xander who would have thought. "Can we just skip you apologizing, can we just go back to doing this."

Xander smiled and kissed her back oblivious to the van that was pulling up to them. Oz looked out the window and saw Eskimo girl kissing a guy dressed like Kane. Is that Harris? He should have realized a girl like that was already seeing someone, he hopes Xander realizes how lucky he is.

Willow came up breathless. "Wow, you're really good with your mouth. Is that Kane or you?"

Xander shakes his head, "No, all me. The only girl Kane ever had was Katie and the day that ever makes it on air is the day I stop watching. So can I take you for an ice cream? Try to figure us out?"

Willow smiled and gently grabbed Xander's hand as the new couple departs to see where this path leads.

* * *

Author's notes

Kane is owned by WWE


	3. Chapter 2: 23 problems

Buffy laid down in her bed on November 7th. She knows what today is and she knows it's important. But what she's questioning is should she even go. Does she have the right to go? Buffy rolled her eyes a person could go mad from this. She rolls her hand into a fist and sticks it under her chin hoping this will work. Buffy feels the sting for a moment but no… not even that will do it.

Willow came in and saw what her best friend was trying to do. "Buffy, you know that won't work anymore. You already tried."

Buffy frowned as she just put her hand on the bed. "A little optimism never hurt anyone Will."

Willow looked at her best friend trying to get her to see what everyone else already has and why Giles was on the phone last night with some mystical order called the Order of Taraka a powerful cult that will bind Ethan's powers according to him. "It wasn't your fault Buffy, none of it was. This was Ethan and his sick joke. He is going to jail for it for a long time."

Buffy looked at her tears running down her face. "How can you say that… after what I did... after everything I took from you…"

"Because it's true" Willow replied holding her sobbing best friend. "It wasn't your fault, none of it was."

* * *

**One Week Ago **

Buffy stood in Ethan's Halloween shop looking at her black wife beater cutting off at her belly button and black leather pants with a belt with a red and yellow X belt buckle on it. This should make Angel gulp.

Ethan smiled at the costume the Slayer picked… those poor, poor, demons. "I thought you were going to be a princess."

Buffy looked to Xander. "Someone objected."

Xander rolled his eyes. All he said was Angel left with a vampire so he obviously wasn't into the girls of that time except for food. And he's obviously right given how Buffy is getting something new.

Buffy grabbed the two retractable toy blades and paid Ethan.

* * *

Buffy fell to her knees on Halloween night as Ethan's spell took hold. She got to her feet as a demon growled and approached her. Buffy looked at it with a smile as four metallic claws came out of her hands two each. She smiled as she drove her claws into the demon's stomach as it fell to the floor dead and all the others ran off.

"Buffy!"

Buffy turned around and saw a soldier and a prostitute running close to her.

Willow looked at her and it's like Buffy doesn't even recognize her. "Buffy do you know who we are?"

Buffy looked at the two coldly. "My name is Laura."

Willow nodded in understanding much like Xander became a soldier she became X-23. "OK, we need your help to stop this madness."

Laura smiled popping her claws out. She's going to enjoy this.

"At the source so we don't hurt too many people." Willow quickly added as they went to her house for cover. Laura frowned but followed the two inside.

* * *

It wasn't long before Laura smelled fear and heard a girl with her enhanced senses. She quickly ran out of the house and saved Cordy from a stray dog. Laura walked back into the house and after finding out Cordelia was still herself for some reason Willow went to find Giles and get his help after telling Laura and Xander to protect each other and the house.

Cordy, Xander, and Laura actively patrolled the house. Willow said she'd take care of it and to just stay in doors.

Laura watches as a tall guy with Spiky hair enters and holds her hand and said. "Thank god you're OK its total chaos out there."

Laura growled at him as her claws popped out. "VAMPIRE!"

Laura easily impales the vampire to the wall as his eyes widen and his game face shows.

Cordy took a moment to let that sink in he really was a vampire like Buffy and Willow had tried to warn her about this morning. "No, no, killing him!"

"I know what his kind does, even worse to good people like Jubilee." Laura replied taking one claw out ready to behead him with it.

Cordy shakes her head no. "Angel is a good one like a care bear with fangs."

"You mean like Blade?" Laura asked.

Cordy nodded. "If he's a vampire that kills other vampires, then yeah"

Laura removed her second set of claws as Angel fell to the floor. They turn hearing a break.

They all turn at the sound of glass breaking and commando Xander takes the initiative after hearing the noise. "OK, me and the cat lady upstairs" He points at Angel. "You and Lady Freddy downstairs barricade all the ways in."

Laura and Angel nod as they head to the back door and see it's open. Laura growled and popped her claws smelling someone new in the house. The badly dressed vampire ran in and was swiftly decapitated by her as it crumbled to dust, taking the high school student it was with him.

They hear gunfire upstairs and quickly barricade the backdoors and windows.

* * *

An hour in and the barricades was starting to waver. A yellow skinned demon makes it in the back door and promptly sucker punches Angel knocking the vampire down. The yellow demon grabs a wooden chair and breaks a leg making it a quick stake until Laura runs up and slashes him across the chest and a green gunky bloody substance sprays onto her face as she falls to her knees causing the girl to hold her head.

"Please god no!" Laura pleaded trying desperately to fight it.

Angel got up and saw Buffy on her knees. "Buffy what's wrong?"

Laura pushed him away. "Get away from me! Get out! Hurry!"

Angel wasn't backing down. "Buffy, what's wrong."

Laura looked at him with red eyes as a claw popped out of her foot and she kicked at Angel's neck. The vampires head fell off his body and dusted. Laura let out a vicious howl and ran upstairs to the fast heartbeats as Xander's and Cordy's screams sound through the house.

* * *

**The Present**

Buffy pushes away from Willow. "I killed them."

Willow shook her head no vehemently. "Buffy you are my best friend, there is not an evil bone in your entire body. This was an accident; no one knows what the trigger scent is. And it's not like we knew what was going to happen on Halloween."

"Tell that to the families of the people I murdered. Or the ones they lost when a 'gang related PCP deal went bad'." Buffy replied going to her bureau.

Buffy went looking through her clothes she killed sixty five people and god knows how many demons, and to top it off the fun of Halloween...

Buffy looks at her hand and sees the bone claws and a bit of her blood and brain residue on them. She can't even kill herself. Most people got the memories she got the complete package thanks to her slayer hood. She retracted her claws. "I don't think I can make it through today."

Willow hugged her and simply replied hearing her cry as Willow started breaking down in tears. "I don't know if I can either, that's why I need you with me today." They both cry a bit before Willow calms down. "Now come on, Xander will never forgive us if we go to his funeral dressed like this."

* * *

Buffy and Willow came down in black dresses, they saw Giles at the door and each girl hugged the watcher as he did them.

Buffy looked at him. "Any sign of Ethan?" She's going to just keep scratching him with her new bone claws until he dies. She doesn't give a damn if he's human or not.

Giles nodded. "The council bound his powers last night." Meaning the assassins found their target hung him upside down and gutted him as Giles ordered for getting two of his kids killed.

Buffy frowned. Xander's funeral today, Cordy's funeral tomorrow and something nice for Angel tonight. Whether it was her driving the body or not, their screams will haunt her for the rest of her life. God she can't do this. "How am I supposed to...?"

Giles hugged her. "In truth I don't think you ever will but me, Willow, Ms. Calendar, even your mother. We're going to help you through this Buffy, no matter what."

Giles led the girls out the door and into his car for the funeral. He's going to miss Xander and Cordelia. He hopes that pilock that used to be his friend died screaming he feared the day his past would catch up to him. But he never would have thought his kids would pay the price.

* * *

Author's Notes

I always read Halloween fics and the scooby becomes the greatest thing since sliced bread. I wanted to do one where it practically breaks them.

X-23 is owned by Marvel


	4. Chapter 3: First Impressions

Spike looked down at down at the niblet's niblet. He went from Big bad to being a second generation babysitter...where did it all go wrong? First he watched Dawn and now here he is watching her daughter. Dawn and her husband were called in on a problem and said they were heading up north for the night since Spike volunteered to watch their daughter. Spike had a chuckle seeing what the little brunette was watching on TV like mother like daughter.

Joy looked up at Spike from her spot as she was watching her show and saw the vampire laughing. "What are you laughing at?"

Spike looked over at her and just looked at the TV. "Oh, this isn't how I actually met her, but this the first memory I have of your mum."

"Really?" Joy asked.

Spike nodded. "Would you like to hear it?

"Yeah" Joy insisted she wants to know how this TV show is how Spike met her mother.

* * *

**Years Ago**

Dawn stood in Ethan's with Buffy at first she thought she was too cool for Halloween but then she realized she might be too cool for it but she's not doing anything tonight and this way she'll have free candy and maybe even manage to get into Xander's group of trick or treaters.

Dawn looked at Buffy with her noblewoman get up in one hand and a play bow in the other. "That's not the actual bow."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "And you're not going as the actual girl, improvise."

Dawn sighed and took the bow seeing her sister's point and not having money for a better costume.

* * *

Dawn was up in her room getting dressed with a pink shirt and denim overall shorts over it. She goes into her old toybox and pulls out the final piece of it all her old morpher toy with the Pterodactyl coin still in the slot, presto one Kimberly. She puts it on top of the bow unaware as magic spreads through the morpher just as Xander's gun spread magic through his army fatigues.

* * *

Kimberly opened her eyes and spotted a soldier pointing his rifle around like a madman while demons scurry about she immediately goes for her wrist but finds her communicator gone. A demon roars and she runs, the demon giving chase after her. She saw a giant van and decided to run up it and flip behind the demon. She took her first two steps up the door but as soon as she was off both feet she fell to the floor in a thud hitting the ground. What is wrong with her body? It feels like she's never done a day of gymnastics in her life. And to top it off she landed on a bow, why does she have a bow when she's not morphed?

The demon smiled until it received a crushing blow to the back of the head from Spike knocking it out.

Kimberly got back to her feet thankful for the assist. "Thank you"

Spike's smile turned predatory as he approached her recognizing the scent. The slayer has a sister who knew. "Didn't big sis ever teach you to not go out after dark? All sorts of danger is out in the dark especially on a hellmouth."

"Stay away from me." Kimberly warned backing up slowly

Spike had a simple smile. "Yeah that will work, now say please."

Kimberly looked at they guy he has to be ten feet tall. "Get away from me!"

She throws a kick that Spike easily catches and throws her to the floor.

Spike smiled as his game face came out. "You know I figured big sis would teach you a thing or two. Oh well, lets me have a little Niblet before moving onto lady Buffy."

Kim got to her feet and felt her back oh she does have that. "I might not have a big sister but I have Zordon, he taught me this." Spike watched as she pulled a buckle out from behind her back and shouted. "Pterodactyl"

Spike looked at the now full grown Pink ranger well he didn't see that one coming. "Right, let's go."

Spike went to grab her but Kim spread his arms out and punched him three times in the stomach before delivering one big haymaker to the face that hit Spike so hard he flew through the air and landed on a car as he got up on top of it. Spike watched as the slayer's sister jumped effortlessly fifteen feet into the air and caught him square in the face with a kick while shouting and knocking him away to the ground. Spike got to his feet wondering if all those hiyas really necessary? Kim jumped down at him and delivered three more kicks to the ribs while he was down.

Kimberly saw her weapon and smiled as she grabbed her power bow off the floor while Spike got to his feet.

Spike eyes widened seeing she not only had a weapon but likely that could kill him. "Bugger this, we're cool… bye."

Spike ran off and Kimberly just lowered her bow hearing a wide assortment of screams. She's a ranger, her job is to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty.

* * *

**The Present**

Spike stood there and looked at Joy. "And that is the first memory I have of your mum. Thankfully the morpher went back to being a toy after the spell and although she had the memories she just couldn't do gymnastics in her own body."

Joy was holding her mouth trying not to laugh. "You got beat up by a girl."

Spike looked at her. "Yes, with all your aunts on your mother's and father's side of the family that happens quite a lot anymore."

"Yeah but you got beat up by a little girl." Joy pointed out again and thought about it before asking. "Can I beat you up?"

"Given your pedigree... probably." Spike conceded not wanting to know the answer if he can get beat up by a four year old.

"Can my cousin Elizabeth beat you up?" Joy asked

Spike looked at her and rolled his eyes he used to be a big bad you know. "Not sodding likely, however the second I lay a finger on her your aunt Buffy will run a redwood through me before your uncle could raise a bow."

Joy looked up at him. "Uncle Spike, I still think you're tough."

Spike smirked and looked at her blue eyes. "Thanks little nib. Let's get you something to eat before bed."

* * *

Joy was in the kitchen sitting on the counter while Spike made her Hawaiian punch and got a cookie for the mini brunette as she smiled and disappeared. Spike rolled his eyes he hates when she does this.

"Little Nib?" Spike looked around the kitchen. "Little Nib?" Spike ran to the steps and shouted upstairs. "Joy!" She knows how dangerous it is he hopes she didn't leave the house with both parents busy with Metallo. Spike ran into the living room and saw Joyce Lara Kent in her parent's arms. Her father in a battle suit of blue with the big S in the middle and red cape. He looks less ridiculous without the red underwear on the outside he used to wear. Spike smiled seeing Dawn holding her daughter in a black top and pants. A homage to him in a red duster with Superman's symbol on the back of the duster. "Thought you were heading up north after you saved the day?"

"Chloe was training up there." Dawn answered worrying how much Clark's blond friend is turning into Bruce. "Did she give you any trouble?"

"Uncle Spike got beat up by the pink ranger. How come you never told me that you were the pink ranger?" Joy asked giving her mother a dirty look.

Dawn smiled looking at her little glare. "Because I didn't realize how much you liked the show."

Spike looked at Joy playing upset. "What makes you think I wanted your pop to know that story?"

Clark chuckled. "Spike, Dawn told me that story about a week after we met."

"Bugger" Spike muttered under breath until he got a smile seeing one last chance to rile up Dawn before she and Clark finally get married next week. "Hey little bit you want to hear how I met your father."

"You'll fit in an ashtray before you finish your first sentence." Dawn warned as her eyes glowed green. Spike always liked Clark and he loves Joy but no chance is Joy ever hearing about how mommy stuffed daddy in her cleavage because she was a giant at the start of the fight and finished the fight as a gargoyle.

Their screwed up lives that brought them together and eventually brought Joy into their lives. She wouldn't change a second of it.

* * *

Author Notes

Power Rangers is owned by Saban

Smallville is owned by DC and WB


	5. Chapter 4: No Leather Thief

Cordy rolled her eyes not believing this happened. How the hell did Larry focus enough to get an A+? She sent pretty much the whole cheerleader squad to distract him with ample cleavage damn it. Now she has to dress up as a thief instead of having the football team dressing up as cheerleaders as she wanted. Larry suggested Catwoman or Black Cat but she refuses to be leather clad… at least on someone's orders. Then to top it off Snyder 'volunteered' her for trick or treating tonight. God help her, there's only one person that can help her now.

* * *

Xander looked at his verbal sparring partner in confusion at Ethan's. "You want me to what?"

"Dress me up as a thief." Cordy answered knowing she'd find him in the cheapo store. "For god sake's I'm giving you a chance to be cool here. I'll totally owe you one. I'll say we're dating and it will up your cool points."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Fine, dress up as Catwoman"

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Someone not from a comic book"

Xander looked her over he has to admit some ideas are coming to his head. He groans damn it he's a sucker for a beautiful face and a slayer if Buffy ever opens her eyes. "What do you have in mind?"

"Beautiful, sexy, dangerous, not skanky" Cordy supplied.

Xander nodded and saw what he wanted as he gave her a blond wig.

Cordelia looked it over its awfully short. "I'm not going as Buffy or Sharon Stone."

"You know you asked me to dress you. Now you're upset." Xander replied as he threw her a toy sword. "Here wear the white shirt that shows off your belly button and white pants. If anyone asks you're Amanda."

"I think you just want to see my belly button." Cordelia replied.

Xander shakes his head as he got an idea. "Yeah but most guys just want to see your belly button." Xander looked through the toy swords and grabbed himself a katana. "Still a two dollar costume king"

* * *

Cordelia watched as Xander came into school with Buffy as a noble and Willow as a ghost. Xander… she thinks its Angel but with a katana he's in a long coat and his hair sticking up. "Why are you dressed like Angel?"

Xander rolled his eyes he's not Angel damn it. "Because there were no ponytail wigs left at the store. So are you ready for the fun of tonight?"

"Walking around sugar hyped kids as a deranged Sharon Stone I can't wait." Cordy quipped.

Snyder looked at the two. "Since you two are a couple you can take your groups together."

Xander rolled his eyes a night with Cordelia and sugar rushed kids he's gotta talk to demonic union leaders and put demons back to work on Halloween. He watches Snyder leave and turns to Cordy. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to hell we go."

Cordy chuckled at the goofball and walked with him. At least she's not suffering alone.

* * *

Cordy took a breath as magic took a hold in her as her sword became real and she was given a skull splitting migraine causing a higher power to shout in anger as her plan goes up in smoke. Xander took a breath and fell to his knees next to her as a presence took over and he suffered the same migraine. Cordy opened her eyes in shock as did Xander seeing the person next to him.

"Macleod?"

"Amanda?"

The two immortals looked each over and one thing is for certain they've changed. "What have you done to your hair?" They asked each other simultaneously.

Duncan heard a demon roar and this was unexpected, he hates demons as they don't get along for good reason after Richie. But these things don't feel like demons. He punches one out and to his surprise Amanda punches another one. "You've changed." Time was Amanda couldn't behead another immortal with her own sword and he was unarmed.

"Cop got in the way of a bullet meant for me. Made me want to do more with my life." Amanda said leaning on him and grabbing his sides. "You look so weird with short hair."

Duncan nudged her off. "Sometimes change is good."

"Maybe but this new identity isn't." Amanda replied looking through his wallet. "I though you were always your son what's this Alexander Harris thing?"

Duncan took his wallet back and quickly realized that's not his wallet. "This isn't mine?"

"I took it off you." Amanda stated. "Take any heads lately?"

Duncan shakes his head no. "Last one was Jacob Kel and Con…"

Amanda's head shot up hearing it he can't mean Conner can he? Conner was Duncan's mentor as Rebecca was hers. "You killed Conner?"

"He was so tired of the life and so scared of Kel killing me he practically forced me to do it." Duncan replied remembering his mentor's last days.

Amanda hugged him as this was clearly upsetting him. There will never will be a beautiful white dress with Duncan in a tux at the isle for them, they're immortal and that's never going to change, but they'll always care for each other. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner I was hunting rogue watchers."

Duncan heard something like that he guesses it's true. "It's OK Kate has been helping me through it?"

Amanda looked at him. That certainly didn't take long. "Kate?"

"She was my wife until I made her… like us. Now hundreds of years later we're finally talking again."

Amanda looked at him for a moment. He knew what would happen if you trigger someone's immortality for them and never told her. She looked behind Macleod at something that caught her eye. "Hey, what's that?"

Duncan turned to look while she took out her sword and promptly stabbed him in the back impaling him on her blade as he fell to the floor dead.

* * *

Willow ran over but stopped a couple feet from her. She can't have seen that. It's not possible not like that. Cordelia could not have killed Xander. "B-b-b-b-b-but w-w-w-why did… I" she reaches for the sword but her hand goes straight through it. "Y-y-y-y-y-you killed him!"

"I'd never kill him." Amanda replied pulling the sword out and Willow watched with a bit of horror as the wound healed and Xander got back to his feet.

Duncan looked at his stomach. "Why did you do that?"

"You were married! You made an immortal against their will! Why didn't you ever tell me!" Amanda asked he could have saved her a whole lot of heartbreak.

Duncan looked at her. "It wasn't your concern. So what happened?"

Amanda looked away. "A cop I knew was dying he was one of us he just didn't know it. I shot him to trigger it. But he walked away from me before I could teach him anything, and before I could find him again a new generation of hunters already did. They cut his head off."

Duncan frowned Amanda had no luck as a mentor, not that he was much better with Richie. He hugged her and thought to himself the two of them and Methos are the only immortals, or mortals left that have no interest in the prize what so ever. "I'm sorry when we figure this out I'll help you hunt them down."

"Excuse me!"

Both immortals turned to Willow and the redhead just looked at Duncan. "Not that I'm not thankful or anything but… HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?"

Amanda turned to the redhead and looked her over… what a slut. "We're immortal. We can't die unless you cut our heads off. I'm Amanda."

Willow nodded as she turned to Duncan.

"Duncan Macleod of the clan Macleod"

Willow went to shake his hand but it went right through it. "Right Xander was dressing Cordy up as a thief I guess he went with Amanda. And here I was thinking Xander just dressed as Angel."

"What are you talking about?" Duncan asked.

Willow looked at them nervously. "Well everyone became what they dressed as for Halloween I was a ghost and now I am a ghost… Xander and Cordy dressed up as Duncan and Amanda, now I guess you really are Duncan and Amanda."

Amanda looked Willow over in her red number. "The ghost of what exactly?"

Willow used her arms to cover her midriff and would probably blush if she still could. "That's not the point… right now we just need to find… Buffy!"

They ran over to a noblewoman whom almost immediately fainted. Duncan sighed as he picked her up. "So now what?"

* * *

Willow walks the two immortals to Sunnydale High Giles has to know how to fix this. She opens the door for Duncan who carries in Buffy and puts her on the table. Amanda followed up the flank but no one went after two people wielding swords. "Giles something very creepy is going on?"

Duncan turned to see the older man. He kind of looks like Tessa's diplomat friend. "Apparently we're here from magic."

Giles saw Xander with a katana of all things so much for his night off. "Start from the beginning."

Willow ran down the whole night as Duncan read through books he has to admire the Englishman most of these books are older then him and very well preserved.

Giles took off his glasses. "Right so everyone became what they were masquerading as?"

Willow nodded. "Right, Xander became Duncan Macleod, Buffy became a 17th century girl, and Cordelia became Amanda."

Giles looked her over. "And you?"

"I'm a ghost." Willow said uncomfortably.

"The ghost of what exactly?" Giles asked.

Amanda looked at her. "I was going to say a jack the ripper victim."

Willow looked at herself just frustrated. "OK you know what, Buffy made me wear this. I had a nice normal ghost costume from Ethan's."

Giles eyes shot up. "What's Ethan's?"

"A new costume shop on 3rd" Willow answered.

"Right, stay here all of you." Giles ordered demons will likely come if they know Buffy is weakened. He quickly went out the door to confront his one time friend.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Willow was looking around the library and saw Duncan and Amanda almost flirting she wonders what the history is with these two. Her curiosity stopped as Spike kicked in the library door with an army of demons. Duncan wasted no time and pulled out his sword as did Amanda.

Amanda is hoping this is over quick. With the exception of Macleod who as usual threw himself to the wolves this has been a strange night. She readies her sword but she can't do this if it's true. "Macleod these aren't actual demons."

"The one that looks like Billy Idol is." Willow pointed out.

That was the encouragement Duncan needed as he feigned an attack to Spike that the vampire dodged allowing the immortal to deliver a cut against his back when Spike moved. Amanda settled for impaling the vampire on her blade as Spike buckled to his knees and Duncan made one quick cut at his neck as Spike's head came clean off and his body turned to dust.

Duncan pointed his sword at the demons and they all got the message as they backed off.

Amanda looked at the pile of dust and glared at Duncan. Great, now she's defenseless "You owe me a sword."

Duncan nodded weakly it's not like he knew this would happen. "I'm good for it."

Amanda smiled and kissed him and he quickly deepened it and pulled her closer as Willow looked away uncomfortably as the katana became plastic. And the two pulled apart.

Xander and Cordy looked at each other appalled. Dear god what the hell did they do?

Xander pulled back he's the treasurer of the 'we hate Cordy fan club' for god sakes. "Lips… disease ridden lips of Cordelia."

Cordelia spat up wishing for Listerine to take the taste out of her mouth, she kissed... him. "Loser, I taste like loser."

The two quickly bolted out of the library in opposite directions as Buffy woke up and looked around seeing she was all alone.

"Yeah, don't mind me or anything."

* * *

Xander left the library in a hurry trying to forget this night he doesn't care how great it felt or how his whole body felt when Amanda started using her tongue… focus Harris he went to the bahroom and ran cold water on his head before leaving the school.

Cordelia came out right behind him. "Hey, you're not telling anyone about this."

Xander looked at her for a moment. "Why would I, I'm traumatized enough as is? Even knowing you aren't Amanda I'm still traumatized my body could ever have feelings of love of you"

"Oh, yeah because you're not the one who had a loser go to second base on you." Cordy replied. "I bet you planned it why else would you dress up as her boyfriend.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Because it was a two dollar costume that blew up in my face. Everyone thought I dressed as Deadboy. And to top off my night of hell I kissed you. I'm half tempted to go out there and hope its still demon land."

Cordelia glared at him. "I bet you'd send me out there first even. You'd be perfectly happy to send a girl to her death."

"Not any girl, you're special." Xander replied.

"Moron"

"Tramp"

"Loser"

"I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU!"

They look at each other for another second before grabbing each other and engaging in a mad, passionate kiss. It goes on for several seconds before they suddenly release each other and look at each other in surprise before going for another passionate kiss as they walked back into a line of lockers and Cordy got a better idea seeing the closet. Cordy broke the kiss and took a clip out of her hair as she bent over being sure to give Xander a nice view of her butt in a teasing matter as she picked the lock and threw Xander in and nearly pounced him as she joined him inside to a bewildered Buffy who could only watch as the closet shut.

* * *

Outside of Sunnydale High two poorly dressed semi-demons smiled at the results of what they've done tonight. Doyle looked with a smile knowing that the powers will make fate work its original plan. From what he can tell, he died some point in the future from a light not that far away from now and his death was the catalyst for Cordelia's death. However, after dying his future self sent a vision to his past self showing him how to keep it from coming to pass. He promptly told Whistler and his bosses changed fate and locked their traitor in a fiery inferno for all time. With Spike gone Drusilla will be right behind him because now one will care enough to cure her. Now he just has to get Angel to LA because bad things are about to happen if he stays with Buffy. She'll have it rough at first but she'll be happier in the long run. He just hopes Cordelia enjoys her new lease on life and makes the best of it, whether it's still five years or eternity.

* * *

Author notes

Highlander is owned by Davis/Panzer


	6. Chapter 5: From here to Eternity

Cordy frowned in Ethan's store she's going to kill the dweeb patrol. This was supposed to be a nice Halloween but she should have known something was up when the almighty Buffy along with Xander and Willow hid behind a wall earlier today and Xander tried to get her to join them. They stayed in the shadows and warned her not to go; she got tagged by principal troll and given sugared up kids for the night. She still says they tricked her. She's not wasting a party town costume on little kids. In fact she's not even wasting a costume on that. She came here for black lipstick and white face paint which she quickly pays for and leaves.

* * *

Cordelia arrived at the school and saw no one here she knows damn she should have stayed with Xander's little lame group since they obviously avoided everything. And how weirs She saw Oz from the Dingoes and decides to get this done with. "Tell Mr. I'm too big and too famous to dress up with my girlfriend that I won't be there tonight... or any night from now on."

Oz looked up and saw Cordelia and… He can safely say Devon is a dumbass. He looked her over and quietly gulped a black wife beater ending above her stomach and black leather pants with white face paint all over and a drawn up mask in black for her eyes and lips. "KISS groupie, I like it."

Cordy rolled her eyes not really sure if she should stick up for her costume or not considering how little she spent on it. She decides not to. "Yeah, later."

* * *

Cordelia Chase looked around the streets of Sunnydale and… what the hell just happened? She was right next to Buffy finally fighting the Big Bad and that was about ten seconds ago. She sees a wolf like creature attack her and maul her right arm.

Cordy rolls her eyes unimpressed and punches the beast out with her free hand as she frees her bloody arm. She watches the wound heal over as it always has for the past three months. Wait, is that Jojo the dog faced boy? Something weird is going on. She better get to the slayer.

* * *

Buffy is taken out from her, Xander, and Willow vegging out on the couch by a repeated knocking on the door. Buffy gets up and opens the door to her surprise she sees Cordelia glaring at her even under all that make up and a rather nice heart necklace. "What are you doing here?"

Cordy glared at the blond with cold eyes that almost made Buffy tremble, whoever this person is it's not Cordelia. "What am I doing here? Well, we both know I'm not looking for Mr. Right. I disappeared from the big fight, and ended up here. Is this Acathla's world? Am I stuck with you for eternity."

Buffy looked at her in confusion. "What about alfalfa?"

Cordy rolled her eyes and pushed her getting right in the slayer's face, it's her fault she's like this anyway. "Don't play around with me like that slay bitch, I'll knock your teeth out."

Buffy's eyes lit up almost in blind rage. "Oh I would love to see you try."

Xander heard the argument and quickly ran over to break apart the upcoming removal of Cordelia's teeth as he grabbed each girl on the arm. "Whoa, whoa, let's not kill each other on our much needed day off OK."

* * *

Xander grabbed Cordy's arm as memories of her past flash through her head. She sees them outside the bronze on Valentine's Day.

Cordy smiled as she opened the box revealing a heart with a chain. For every other guy she dated not worth a thing but for Xander this was probably all the money he had. "It's beautiful."

Xander smiled as she held her hair up and he wrapped it around her neck. "It was the most beautiful thing I could afford."

"Just kiss me." Cordy responded as she pushed herself to Xander.

* * *

Cordy flashes further to the future and sees them in the library.

"You'll never die for me?" Cordy replied.

"Might die from you does that mean something?" Xander asked.

* * *

"You actually think you can take me dweeb." Cordy asked.

Xander smiled. "Oh, I know I can, commando training."

Cordy smiled and went into a goofy form with a stake in her hand as Xander practically cracked up. "You're no match for my crane style."

Cordy threw a punch that Xander easily caught as he did the next one making an X in her arms at her shoulders before letting go but holding on to her waist with both arms and resting his head on her shoulders.

"This might just be the teenage hormones talking, but I kind of want to be with you forever." Xander stated.

Cordy smiled in his grip as she looks up to him and gently kissed him before asking. "Only forever?"

* * *

The two share a passionate kiss as Xander lowers her down to her bed in one last flash to the past as she watches helplessly her past self is stuck frozen because Xander just said the three words as the monster wraps his arm around Xander's throat from behind.

"CORDY! RUN!" Xander ordered.

* * *

Cordy was taken back as she came back to the present. She saw Xander and quickly did what was natural to her and kissed him deeply but just felt confusion in his lips until he realized what was going on, and then it was Buffy's basement level kissing.

Cordy gently pried Xander off feeling even more miserable now. "For a moment… I almost forgot."

Willow looked at the scene, the devil incarnate Cordelia Chase just kissed Xander leaving him in a bit of white makeup. She was set to raise some hell but seeing the pain in this Cordy's face after she kissed him dear god what happened to her.

Angel came into Buffy's door. "Thank god you guys are alright? It's total chaos out there."

Cordy looked at him and grabbed the nearest wooden thing she could find, a chair. "You son of a bitch." Cordy wasted no time and broke the chair on the vampire's back as he falls to the floor making plenty of wooden stakes for her as she pulls up one and goes for the kill only giving Angel a mere moment to deflect the stake as it enters his shoulder as Buffy pulls her back and wrestles her back to the kitchen as she screams. "Son of a bitch, you're gonna pay for what you did! You think I'm a little cry Buffy that will let you get away with it! Never! You son of a bitch! You bastard! You're gonna die! You hear me? You're gonna pay! I don't care if I have to chase you down for eternity, you'll pay!"

Buffy finally manages to overpower Cordy and put her in a chair in the kitchen. "OK, what the hell was that."

Cordy got back to her feet and realized who was still in the driver's seat as Angel shows no sign of anger just confusion. "Trust me dump that piece of Euro trash disguised as salty goodness, everyone will be better off."

Buffy got in her face eye to eye. "I don't know what's going on with you Cordy but three words regarding Angel. Not. Your. Business."

Cordy glared at her before giving a smile to the vapid Buffy. Who ends being a good bitch if you try to take something away from her that's already gone but she's the nastiest bitch in Sunnydale high. "Three more words Buffy, cold… dead… seed."

Xander watched as Buffy went into the other room and tried to change the subject having a feeling he doesn't want to know since he realizes what Cordelia went as and its not a Sting groupie. She's the crow, or at least a version of herself that became one. "You tried to kill Angel… that was awesome."

Willow looked at her and asked for the truth. "Angel killed Xander didn't he?"

Cordy made close eye contact with her new best friend, the wall. "There aren't words to describe what that monster did to him." Cordy saw Xander try to take her hand but she shot back to the wall to break free. "No, if you touch me I'll have a flash, and I can't, not right now."

Xander nodded in understanding. "So me and you, how the hell did that happen!"

Cordy shrugged. "Low and behold you went and tried to get yourself killed for merry old St. Buffy and I was your taxi. After getting attacked by a demon we got locked in the basement where we proceeded to call each other every name in the book and then when we stopped, we kissed, and then escaped. We chalked it up to insanity." A small smile formed on her face. "But we couldn't keep our hands off each other and turned the broom closet into our home away from home."

Willow frowned hearing that but she can't help to notice how happy this Cordy is when she talks about Xander.

Cordy frowned getting to the turning point of the story. "Harmony caught us while we were getting things ready for Buffy's birthday. She made a point that I was too good for that loser or something like that… I realized that when we weren't kissing we were actually talking about who we were. He was the only person that cared about me instead of throwing me to the curb when done or following me blindly like a sheep. I realized I opened up more in two months with him then I did in a decade with Harmony. So it made it real easy. I chose Xander and you guys. But on Buffy's birthday, she boinked the soul out of Angel and he unleashed hell on us nearly ending the world with a demonic smurf and Bimbo the vampire slayer still didn't kill him. Angelus as he calls himself without his soul tried to kill Jenny but Giles was right there to save her and get her out of the building but Angel destroyed whatever Ms. Calendar was up to. Seeing that wasn't an option he sweet talked an invitation out of my parents saying he was with the IRS so he could get pay back on me and Xander for stopping his apocalypse by stealing a rocket a launcher."

Cordy took a moment and wiped tears from her eyes. "Xander told me those three little words and I was stunned. But then Angelus showed up and knocked us out, by the time I woke up he had already cut off Xander's ears so he wouldn't hear me say it back… and he tortured him, he killed him. And then I tricked him into killing me by breaking my neck so I wouldn't have to go through what he did."

Cordy took a breath to collect herself. "Problem was, I came back, Buffy tried to slay me of course but the stake wound closed right up." Cordy took a moment as her crow features disappeared in a stream of tears. "I'm not dead, and I'm not alive anymore. I thought I'd be with him now, but I'm not, and it hurts, sometimes more then I can bare. Ever since then the only thing I've cared about is ramming a redwood through that monster's heart. I've said it back a thousand times since I died but I doubt he heard it."

Xander hugged her and she took it as a kindness. Not real but close enough.

"He heard you." Xander assured her.

* * *

Cordy walked into the main room to see what's going on from Buffy and Angel. "Skank, corpse, what's going on?"

"It's total Chaos out there." Angel replied. "Kids are literally becoming their costumes."

Cordy nodded. She figured this was Ethan. "I know what this is. Let's go."

"What? No thanks for the info Angel, lets go." Buffy countered.

Cordy looked at her but was still walking for the exit. "He still has his head that's my gratitude."

Angel walked up to her outside getting frustrated. "OK, I know I hurt a lot of people but you aren't one of them."

"Not yet" Cordy replied.

"Then tell me." Angel insisted. "What did I ever do to you?"

Cordy looked at him with a vindictive smile. She's going to enjoy this. "You really want to know." Angel nodded and Cordelia ran up and grabbed his face with both hands as Angel smiled at first seeing him in bed with Buffy but fell to his knees screaming in agony feeling knife cuts, attacks with hammers and other blunt instruments, slicing tendons, and cauterizing wounds so the person doesn't die from blood loss, all of which he was doing to Xander.

Cordy looked at the pathetic vampire trembling on the floor and shouted. "Twenty hours of hell! Twenty hours of torture! Twenty hours you forced me to watch! Twenty hours until his body finally just gave it up because he couldn't take anymore!" Cordy let go tears in her eyes as Buffy approached and pulled her off. "Ask me again why I hate you?"

Angel looked up at her face not getting up from his knees. He hasn't… that wasn't… but it will be soon if he stays. "I-I oh god"

Buffy went to attack her but Angel stopped her from starting a fight.

Cordy kept walking one goal in her mind break the damn statue so she can get back and chop Angelus' head off.

* * *

Giles was in the library the next day organizing the books as Buffy came in bummed and miserable. "Buffy, I thought you'd be rejuvenated from your night off."

"Angel's gone. He took a ferry last night I don't know where. Left it in a letter to me. He said he was poison to me and that I deserved better. You get one day off and you wake up to a Dear John letter."

Giles gently rubbed her shoulder. Truth be told he was hoping Angel would wise up. "Buffy, I understand that in a situation like this ice cream is beneficiary."

Buffy smiled hearing Giles attempt at comfort. "Ice cream sounds good right now… especially if you're buying."

"A slayer hungry for comfort food… my checkbook is doomed." Giles quipped as the watcher and the slayer left.

* * *

Cordy sat there listening to what used to be insightful dialogue yesterday but today is just a waste of oxygen. She listens to Harmony brag about being a third alternate and rolls her eyes. With everything she learned from Crow her Harmony can be dead before she even touches the floor. "Good god shut up!"

Harmony looked at her kind of stunned. "What did you say?"

"I said shut up!" Cordy repeated. "Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep.

"I'm not a sheep." Harmony complained.

Cordelia rolled her eyes and stated. "You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler then you 'cause I'm not a sheep. And life is too damn short to try to be one of the flock." Cordy walks away with honestly no regrets but there is someone else she wants to talk to. She knows she's not waiting around for those Tarkatan guys.

* * *

Xander smiled listening to Willow run through her day telling him about this musician Cordy took her to go see last night. Xander smiled and speaking of Cordelia he looks up and sees the cheerleader looking right at him kind of nervous.

"Can we talk?" Cordy asked.

* * *

Author notes

The Crow is owned by James O Barr

An unexpected chance for Vacation has come up so you get an extra chapter today and the next one will likely be up Sunday afternoon or night.


	7. Chapter 6: The Woman in the Red Dress

Buffy looked around the Halloween store not exactly thrilled. With Party town gone the Cordettes were here and Harmony swiped the noble woman's dress she was looking at. Curse her hands for not moving with her eyes. Buffy looked around and saw a short red dress. It may not be a blast from Angel's past but she'll look good in it. Ethan walked up disappointed that the vapid bimbo got the noble dress before the slayer did.

"May I help you young lady?"

Buffy held the dress out and looked at it. "What can you tell me about this dress?"

Ethan shrugged truthfully he just got it not three hours ago. "Very little I'm afraid, it was brought in by a very confused man who just wanted to get rid of it for nothing."

"How much?" Buffy asked.

Ethan smiled looking at it. A normal girl, the slayer won't be helpless but she'll weaken for the night. "I'm sure I can make a deal you can't refuse."

* * *

Buffy watched her kids turn into demons as slayer instincts took over as she took a fighting stance. Her eyes glazed over as she fell to her knees overwhelmed by a seemingly endless supply of power entering her but she quickly picked herself up.

The being got to her feet feeling shorter then she was before as she began to feel herself up. Yeah, she's back she's in her pathetic human form but she's back. She feels her legs they're stronger then they were last time along with her torso. The girls hands moved up to her chest and she groaned. What the hell, they shrunk. They were bigger last time she remembered. The girl was so confused she didn't notice the demon grab her around the waist and try to bite her neck.

The girl easily broke free as if she was being held by tissue paper. Oh my god a vampire tried to grab her. Even worse that little prick drooled on her. She grabbed the demon with the sparkly cape by the arms and held him there. "You little brat, I am great, I am beautiful, and when I walk into the room all eyes turn to me. I do not get vampire drool on me!" The girl easily ripped the vampire's arms out of their sockets as he shouted in pain blood splattered down the now stumps. "Let that be a lesson to you." The girl hit him with an uppercut and the vampire went soaring through a second floor window into a house as he broke through the roof and kept going up and further away until it was out of sight.

The girl turned around and saw a mortal soldier and a ghost staring at her. "What are you looking at dead ho?"

"I'm not a ho!" Willow replied upset. Buffy was the one that made her wear this getup in the first place. "Something happened to us; I dressed as a ghost, now I am a ghost. Xander was dressed as a soldier, and now he's a real life Soldier. And whatever you dressed as I guess you're her now."

Buffy's figure looked at them in disgust. "You mean to tell me I got caught up in a spell." Willow nodded and Buffy stood there open mouthed, "Oh my god, how mortal and pathetic is that?"

"Do you know who cast it?" Willow asked her.

The girl nodded. "Probably Janus, son of a bitch loves his chaos, almost as much as his whores, prick doesn't even call you the next day."

The soldier looked at her and pointed at her. "Lady your sex life is not our…"

The girl looked at Xander and wrapped two of her fingers around one of his easily breaking it as he fell to his knees cupping his hand. "My name is Glory, my name is a holy name, and I kind of want to hear me talking right now."

Willow looked at her nervously. "Well, Glory do you want?"

"More then anything, I want my key but for now I'll settle for breaking the spell, this is too embarrassing." Glory disappeared in a blur leaving the soldier and ghost behind.

* * *

Glory disappeared for a moment and stopped running at the hospital. She smelled the air and used other senses and quickly realized it wasn't here as she ran further into town. She stopped this time at the library in the school smashing through the door as Giles nearly fell out of the chair.

"My lord." The watcher shot to his feet and looked over his slayer something was different about her. "Buffy have you always been this strong?"

Glory rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I have tons of followers." Glory hoisted Giles up by his throat and ripped his sleeve off revealing his Eyghon tattoo. "What is this?"

Giles shook his head. "Just teenage rebellion, a lifetime ago."

Glory smashed his head into the book cage. "Try again, that mark does anyone else have it?"

Giles nodded as Glory released him feeling weaker. Wrong guy but he might have some use. Glory turned around and saw a bald man enter.

Snyder smiled seeing Buffy here. "Summers, abandoned the group to the riot I see." Snyder stretched feeling exhilarated. "It's moments like these you just want to treasure. You are expelled from Sunnydale High."

Glory rolled her eyes and turned to Giles she doesn't know why but this seems much better. "It's your lucky day." She moved her soft fingers around Snyder's skull and just smiled until she shoved her fingers into his skull as energy left him and transferred to her.

Snyder fell to the floor mumbling craziness and Buffy just seemingly disappeared in Giles' eyes.

* * *

Glory moved in a blur and appeared at Ethan's as she went for the door. She smiled seeing its locked this won't take too long.

"Fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a nice ripe girl."

Glory turned around appalled did that vampire just say she smells? "Excuse me!"

Spike smiled approaching the girl unaware she's in a different dress then fate attended. "Look at you scared, pathetic, and terrified."

Glory grabbed each side of Spike's face with a smile but remembered she couldn't brain suck a vampire. Glory went for a much better alternative in her eyes as she held onto to each side of the vampire's head with her hands but jammed her thumbs into his eyes as two crimson red trails of blood flowed down.

Spike shouted in blinding pain as Glory smirked.

"No one likes a chatty vampire." She pulls her thumbs outwards as Spike's skull splits in two and the vampire dusts.

Glory smiled knocking the door down and smiled seeing the shopkeeper in a chaos robe. "Hello Ethan"

* * *

Buffy came into school the next day genuinely wigged out. And not just because of what she did to Ethan. Buffy moved in a blur and came into the library seeing Giles, Xander and Willow.

Xander shot out of his seat. "Buff, give us a heart attack, in addition to what happened last night."

Buffy shrugged and saw his finger in a splint thankfully Glory didn't rip it off. "Sorry Xan, Giles you need to get in touch with the monks of Dagon, tell them the beast is on earth and whatever plan they have to protect the key it would be wise to use it now."

Giles looked at her a bit nervous. "Buffy, about the spell last night."

"It's over." Buffy assured them. "Glory killed Ethan. She said open your mouth wide and now he just kind of ends at the tongue. Then she broke the spell. Giles I have her powers. She had to eat brains because being in a mortal body was too much for her, is that going to happen to me?"

Giles looked at her. He read a couple things about it based on old ones but he doesn't know much else. "From what I've read they tend to overload regular human vessels you being the slayer your rapid healing should prevent that but I'll look into a way to weaken your powers should it come to that."

Buffy nodded gratefully. "One last thing." Buffy took out a piece of paper from Ethan's costume shop that read kill Ben he's in her own handwriting. "Who's Ben and why do I want to kill him."

Giles shrugged innocently. "Buffy you're asking an awful lot…"

Buffy stared at him with the cold eyes of Glory. "Giles, that thing smacked around demons like they were nothing to her it is real and it is not something I want to fight even with the power boost. I'm not in a diplomatic mood I'm in a give orders mood. What kind of mood are you in?"

Giles looked at her. "The take orders mood."

Buffy nodded relieved that they're at least taking steps should that Glory ever show up. She was raw unstoppable power but nothing less then a goddess. And then to add to the fun she had to listen to Dawn go on and on about how she became a ninja last night. This was her first chance to just take a breath of relief. "Thank you"

* * *

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon


	8. Chapter 7: Lovers in Another Life

Scott Summers was looking around this has been a weird night even by his standards. He was transported to this place by some unseen force and has been fighting demons ever since he got here. Hell he just got done blasting Billy Idol who exploded into dust. He thought his optic blasts weren't fatal. Scott looked over and saw something he didn't think possible. Jean Grey telekinetically spinning demons until they throw up all over themselves as she puts them down.

Scott smiled seeing her this can't be real but he doesn't care. "Jean!"

Jean's eyes widened in surprised. "Scott!"

"It can't be, you died?" Scott said more confirming it to himself anyway.

Jean smiled and probed into his mind a bit as she put in his thoughts. 'Death isn't always the end, especially for us.'

Scott wasted no time pulling her in his arms seeing the traditional Phoenix costume as he kissed her deeply, Emma's flirtng a distant thought in his head for the time being. It's been years since Jean died all he could think about at this very moment was kissing his lost wife and being with her to make up for the time stolen from them. Jean quaked but quickly returned it never thinking she'd get to do this again. Jean doesn't care is there's another mind in her saying stop; she can't not when it's Scott. Jean smiled as the other mind gave her blessing and she pulled him down to the grass covered ground kissing him deeply as he slides her green top off.

* * *

"OH MY GOD!"

Xander shot up awake from his friend's scream and quickly glued his eyes shut seeing the spark of red. "What?"

Buffy looked surprised while Giles looked absolutely furious at the scene the two walked in on trying to find Xander, now having found him butt naked.

Giles to Buffy's surprise didn't seem all that angry. Or it was a calm fury. He took his glasses off but didn't clean them. "I think you better have a damn good explanation for this."

"He doesn't need one."

Xander looked down and heard the muffled reply of the woman sleeping naked on his chest. The woman opened her eyes and it takes Xander all of two seconds to see why Giles is pissed as a naked Ms. Calendar opened her eyes.

Giles looked at her. "Jenny, you slept with him?"

"No" Jenny replied. "Jean Summers was given a rare gift of one last night with her husband and although she offered to stop I couldn't be so cruel as to not give it to her. So she was nice enough to leave me with a few presents… Ripper."

Giles heard that name and he could almost feel himself freeze in place. "Jenny you don't understand."

Jenny nodded she agreed with it since they both fell for shadows. "Neither of us do, all we have are lies on top of lies."

Giles looked at her. "I don't understand."

"I'm a gypsy." Jenny replied. "I was sent to spy on Angel and by extension all of you."

Buffy glared at her. "Why?"

"To make sure Angel still suffers." Jenny answered. "It's not some sort of Romeo and Juliet Buffy, its creepy stalking at best he's old enough to be your great, great, grandfather."

Buffy took all of three seconds to punch Jenny in the face knocking the gypsy down and Buffy was caught with a red blast to the chest knocking her down. "Xander!"

"Don't Xander me, you're a slayer, you could have really hurt her." Xander replied getting his blue pants back on at least through feeling since he can't open his eyes.

Jenny raised her arms and her body floated into the air as her clothes dressed her. "I'm OK." They touched hands and backed away from feelings that weren't theirs... maybe.

Rupert looked at the two as Buffy got to her feet. "I think we're done here whatever choices they make its up to them now."

Buffy looked at Xander coldly and muttered traitor before she followed Giles and left.

* * *

Xander just rolls his eyes. He had a crush on Buffy but then met her everyone sucks but me side. That promptly killed it but they're still friends he hopes. "Sorry about you and Rupert."

"Truth was bound to come out sometime." Jenny replied getting the lecture from Jean during Halloween. "You want to get changed and see where we can find some ruby quartz."

Xander smiled remembering last night but doubting that will happen again. "Yeah, why not." He then realized what he was remembering and what Jenny can do now.

Jenny smiled walking out of the cemetery and turned to her companion getting tired of his thoughts since he's practically screaming it she can't block it. "Xander, I appreciate the effort but I don't want to hear the meow mix song all day I can control what thoughts I read and what I don't."

Xander nodded and followed her out she always had a gentle touch and he's thankful one of them was watching out for Angel besides he doesn't buy Buffy's star crossed love thanks to Angel sitting on his hands at his own apartment warming them with his own exhaust while Buffy went off to die. Add to Jenny's reasons he really doesn't like the guy now. He turns to the woman and opens his eyes seeing the beautiful and panics realizing his eyes are open. "Oh god, sorry."

"What?" Jenny asked.

Xander looked at her and thought it over he looks at a tree for a minute nothing, and when he wants it to a red beam comes out blasting it to pieces. "Oh yeah I don't have brain damage. So since we don't need that how about breakfast? My treat"

"Sure" Jenny replied not wanting to see Rupert anymore seeing the blind fatherly love he has Buffy. He didn't even try to stop her when his slayer hit her and she feels like she just got slapped by a bear. She also reads Xander's thoughts and smiled yeah, still a teenager. She was always impressed at how Xander went after Buffy when no one else had the guts to even Rupert stood down after getting punched in the face. She looked to Xander and looked away, but she's not Angel, maybe after senior year... eighteenth birthday... damn you Jean Grey.

* * *

Author's Notes

I"m kind of tempted to write a sequel for this using the Valentine's day episode.


	9. Chapter 8: You're No Boyscout

Xander sat in the Halloween store bummed out. Stupid kid had to go and take his gun. So much for being a soldier, now he actually has to spend money on this. Well maybe he can find something good now that he has to look. He smiled seeing the costume he is definitely wearing maybe it will get Buffy to notice him in a boy way instead of a Xander way considering how brave the genuine article is.

Harmony frowned looking through rather hack costumes how is she supposed to dress nice when someone burned Party Town to the ground. She looks over at Harris with that stupid cheesy grin looking at his costume. She sees an open bottle of red paint and gets an idea on how to make his day just a little more miserable. She 'accidentally' bumped into Xander and the red paint splattered on the costume and formed an X looking shape at the midway point of the suit.

Ethan came over and glared at the girl truthfully he should probably thank her since he can put that suit away but he was curious as to how the hellmouth would affect him.

Harmony looked at Ethan with her best bashful look. "I'm sorry sir. I just wanted to see that Miss America costume and got clumsy." She went into her wallet and pulled out a fifty dollar bill. "Here this should pay for the damages." She gave him a fifty dollar bill and left.

Ethan went to put the costume in the trash when Xander grabbed him by the shoulder. "You want to sell that costume again?"

"It's ruined." Ethan pointed out the stain at the midway point close to the belt.

Xander had an innocent smile. "You see a ruined costume, I see a costume that can be sold cheap and thanks to Harmony I no longer need to buy red underwear."

Ethan smiled this suddenly got interesting again.

* * *

Xander looked around Halloween night as everyone started becoming their costumes. Xander closed his eyes for a moment and opened his eyes and looked with cold disdain. What happened to his world? He feels something hit his back turns around at the sound of a demon howling in pain holding broken fingers that used to be claws.

Willow was walking through the madness and made her way to Xander whom was holding a demon by the throat. Well at least Willow knows Xander would never hurt anyone considering who he dressed as.

Xander looked at the demon for a moment and quickly uppercut him as the demon soared into the sky like a rocket quickly leaving Earth's atmosphere as Willow could only look in shock and pray that wasn't a little kid. Willow glared at her best friend. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Saving all that demon's future victims." Xander replied.

Willow looked over Xander stupid skintight blue suit is making it hard to focus. The Red cape The S shield and Harmony's paint stain has become part of the suit that's interesting. "But… you don't kill people… ever. I mean I dressed up as a ghost and now I am a ghost and… and you dressed up as Superman… and now you are Superman… but Superman doesn't kill."

"Where have you been for the past few years?" Superman asked as he calmly walked up to the girl.

Willow looked at him and saw he had no regrets about what he did. "In line for sanity… which you obviously missed." Willow replied braver then she felt.

Superman walked right towards her getting closer getting right in her face. "It is not insane to want to protect the people of this planet after the destruction Metropolis." He puts his hand out and snatches a demon by the throat reaching through Willow's face.

"No!" Willow shouted. "Don't hurt it. It could just be a little kid in there."

Superman stopped and looked at her. "What do you mean a little kid?"

"Look in the mirror and see for yourself? You're not you and Metropolis…still exists I read the Daily Planet everyday." Willow replied.

Superman looks in the mirror and sees at best a seventeen year old kid. "What? What in the name of Rao is this?"

Willow frowned. "I tried to tell you. You're not really Superman. Well I guess you are Superman but you're kind of in my world in my friend's body."

Superman frowned this is bad he has to get back to his world he wants peace but the only thing Bruce has to do to stop Diana is tie her down with rope to break his One World organization. "So how do I get back to my world and how did this come about?"

Willow thought on it. "Well we all became our costumes."

Superman nodded and quickly deduced it. "The costumes must be possessed. Can you take me to where you found them?"

Willow quickly nodded happy to see that she has rounded up this Superman for tonight. "Of course just let me find Buffy, if you really became Superman, then she became a worthless little princess." Willow looked around the chaos and instantly spotted her. "There"

They both moved to her and Buffy's eyes widen in fear as demons approach.

Willow simply sighed. "Great, now what do we do?"

Superman chose the much more time effective way of putting his fist through a car obliterating it to pieces and scaring the demons off. Buffy just pointed at him and shouted. "Witch! He's a Witch!" She started to run fleeing the monster.

Superman rolled his eyes in frustration this is too weird to him, he runs over to Buffy in a blur and quickly taps her in the head knocking her down unconscious and got curious. "Is there a Lois Lane in your world?"

Willow looked down at Buffy it's kind of scary to know how easily she can be taken out even if she wasn't a noble woman. She looks at this Superman, but its clear something broke in him so he'll never find out there is a Lois Lane from her and is thankful that as a ghost she doesn't have a heartbeat. "No, it's some girl called... Chloe Sullivan that does all your stories in this world."

Superman cradled Buffy in his arms. He gets sent to another world and of course it's one without Lois. A world he'd never want to live in. He was going to hide the artifact that put him in this world but not anymore now he just wants to go home. "I see, let's go to this costume shop and break your spell."

* * *

Superman walked up to Ethan's with Willow and Buffy in his arms and he gently deposits the noblewoman on a bench. "Watch her, if anyone comes near her scream."

"Shouldn't I go with you?" Willow asked.

Superman looked at them with a silent scowl. "And do what? The princess will pass out again and you can't touch him."

"Good point, we'll wait." Willow replied.

Superman walked into the store and saw an older Englishman walk up to him. "So I take it this was your idea."

"Yes the ultimate be careful what you wish for." Ethan replied in a smile.

"It's perverted and it hurts the innocent." Superman countered standing tall and making himself look a lot more intimidating. "Break it!"

"Say please boyscout." Ethan quipped knowing Superman never even broke a bone save for the Elite.

Superman looked at him and gave a little smile. "It's OK you probably can't hear me that well with your ear injury."

Ethan stood stumped for a moment before he felt extreme cold as his his mouth frozen as Superman ran up in a blur and ripped his left ear off as he screamed in muffled pain from the ice.

Superman watched as he calmed down and started breathing regularly. "OK, since I know you have a hearing problem let me repeat myself, how do I break your spell!"

* * *

Superman came out with Ethan chained up and a statue of Janus in his hand.

Willow looked at Ethan. "What happened to his ear?"

Superman looked at Ethan. "It required a flesh sacrifice he chose his ear. I could always lobotomize him if you want."

"No, no, just break the spell." Willow insisted.

Superman shrugged and broke the statue.

Xander looked around and thank god he's back. That was one majorly warped Superman who would have thought his second favorite hero could become the thing you fear most in under an hour. Buffy pries her wig off thankful to be back and thankful for slayer healing feeling the knot on her head.

Buffy turned to Xander. "That was one seriously screwed up Superman."

Xander nodded in agreement. "You're telling me; thank god Willow kept her mouth shut about Lois. He would have hidden the statue on Venus and try to claim this planet for his own. I'd hate to see the property damage alone from a fight between two Supermen."

Buffy smiled but quickly turned to nothing. "Where's Willow?"

Xander only gives an innocent shrug. What he knows from Zatanna she's likely back in her body. "I'm guessing wherever she died."

Buffy looked at him. "So what did you think of that number she wore tonight?"

Xander looked at her and sighed. "Look Buffy I know Willow has a thing for me… but I don't."

Buffy shrugged and turned around and spotted no Ethan either. "Oh great, well I'm going to go tell Giles about this, are you OK alone?"

"I know my way around the hellmouth, even though I'll probably stand out like a nightlight in this thing." Xander replied calmly leaving as Buffy went the other direction.

* * *

Xander walked a couple blocks and just smiled. "Trust me guys you really don't want to do this."

Spike came out smiling in game form along with ten other vampires. According to Dru the slayer's not weak anymore thanks to her black knight. He sees Xander and decides a royally brassed off slayer would be going in, blind full of rage, and stupid. "Well what can I say, I can't help myself?"

Spike punched and quickly pulled his hand back and cradled his now four broken fingers. "How the hell are you still Superman?"

Xander smiled as his eyes glowed red. "This wasn't the first occasion magic has made me its butt monkey, maybe the hyena from the original had a really hard time giving up the godly powers of Superman."

Two beams shot out of his eyes glowing red and burning with fire as it hit Spike and all his vampires turning them to dust. Xander had a simple smile and calmly kept walking thankful he still remembers all Crazy Supes knows about his powers so he's not driven insane by superhearing as he takes to the sky. Life on the hellmouth is about to get a lot more interesting but first he has to figure out what to do about The Joker before all hell breaks loose.

* * *

Author's Notes

Costume: Regime Superman From Injustice: Gods Among Us owned by DC/Netherealm

This one will continue one day in Ultimate Power

I liked the idea of Willow while not being able to physically effect the world being able to actually stop Regime Superman from conquering it by just tricking him.


	10. Chapter 9: Broken Princess

Buffy stood in Ethan's holding the dress she got with a smile. She looks at Xander and sees his disapproving look. "I know, I know, it's not Spandex."

Xander nodded in agreement. No argument there. "True, but I think if anyone can make this dress work it would be you. But that wig looks ridiculous. Buffy you are too much of a beautiful blond to be lugging that black road kill on your head."

Buffy turned to Willow he can't be right can he? "What do you think?"

Willow thought about it. "If I disagree with you, will you let me be the ghost?"

"No" Buffy replied she's sick of Willow hiding.

"The wig is an ugly piece of junk." Willow replied.

Xander looked into the jewelry section and saw a set of earrings to his surprise would be perfect since she's going as a blond. "Here, something you can wear tonight with your dress, on me."

Buffy smiled and gratefully took them. "Thank you."

* * *

Buffy looked around as Ethan's spell took hold. The now princess looked around Sunnydale and being who she is heard Buffy whispering in her head. "Alright first we'll find Xander, then Willow, and then weapons."

The princess looked around and spotted a soldier shooting at the monsters. "Xander" Xander turned to her confusion clear in his face. "It's me, Buffy! Sort of."

Xander looked at her. "I don't know any Buffy."

The Princess rolled her eyes. "Xander, quit messing around. This is no time for jokes."

Xander pointed his gun at her apparently this woman knows something. "What the hell's going on here?"

The princess catches on quickly as to why Xander can't remember. With all her mystical power she can sense Buffy's presence in her. The soldier must not be able to hear Xander. "You don't know me?"

Xander lifts the rifle away from her. "Lady, I suggest you find cover."

The princess rushed him grabbing a side of his face in each hand as Xander glowed gold and magic rushed through him.

Xander looked at her and smiled. "Buffy, how did you do that?"

"I'm not Buffy. But I can hear her and she's helping me through this just as the soldier is in your head giving you advice now instead of the other way around." The Princess explained.

Xander thinks he felt his jaw drop looking at her left hand two dark yellow triangles and one brightly golden triangle. This is too weird even by Sunnydale standards. "Oh my god, Zelda!"

The princess of Hyrule nodded her head happily, according to Buffy he already knows who she is.

Zelda and Xander turn to Willow seeing the ghost run up.

"Guys what's going on?" She asked.

Xander stood mouth in awe. She was beautiful in that get up the red top showing her midriff leather dress. Wow who knew Will had it in her. "Will... new side of you."

Willow smiled he likes it. "Is it a good side?"

Zelda smiled while telling Buffy job well done in her head.

"Very good side" Xander replied almost in awe until a voice in his head replied. 'Drool in mouth soldier. I can't believe it took you this long to notice her. I figured it out in two minutes going through your memory.'

Xander tilted his head of all the voices it has to be that one. Great, he's going to have R. Lee Ermey in his head all night. He'll figure out his feelings for Willow when he can touch her. he looks around and sees demons still terrorizing the night. "OK, we need weapons for this."

"Agreed" Zelda replied as she closed her eyes and seemed to be in meditation.

Willow sneaked up to Xander's ear and whispered. "What's she doing?"

Xander shrugged he honestly had no clue.

They were answered when Zelda's entire dress turned white in light and seemed to scatter when she spread her arms. The white light on her body faded and turned into a blue bodysuit with a symbol of eyes on her hands leaving her fingers exposed. Xander watched as the scattered pieces of light reformed as seemingly clothing bandages and a mask as he got the idea.

"She's turning into Shiek" Xander answered.

Zelda looked at him now fully cloaked. "It's easier to run in pants. If it makes you laugh Buffy thought I was putting on a stripper show."

Zelda led the run as Xander and Willow kept close behind her. Zelda easily kicked down one of the demons blocking her path and the soldier instructed Xander on how to use his rifle to fight the ones coming behind them without killing anyone.

* * *

Xander came into the house short of breath with Zelda and Willow ran right through the door. Zelda took out ten demons without even breaking stride. "OK if you're such a badass, how come Gannon keeps kidnapping you?"

Zelda looked at him frustration clear on her face at the mention of the Gerudo king. "He has the triforce of power, think it through. And he only kidnapped me once!" Zelda quickly went upstairs pain clear in her face.

Xander frowned great a princess and he angers her.

'Nice going dumbass' The soldier remanded.

Willow watched the scene she was there all through out when Xander played Ocarina of time. "Didn't Link and Zelda lock him in the temple of time? Why is she upset about that?"

"Something like that." Xander said he has to apologize now. Even if doesn't realize what he did wrong.

* * *

Xander came in and saw Princess Zelda with a crossbow in hand maybe Buffy is rubbing off on her. "Can I come in?"

Zelda weakly nodded clearly upset. "Buffy needs to learn the joys of a longbow. More accurate and much faster reload time."

Xander sat down in bed. "I didn't think asking about Ganon would upset you, last I heard you and Link sealed Ganon away with the help of the seven sages."

Zelda wiped tears from her eyes wondering how this stranger knew that. "Do you remember what I did after that?"

Xander thought on it for a moment but then realized it. "You sent Link back to the past to reclaim the youth Ganon's evil stole."

Zelda nodded regaining her composure as the blue suit turned back into her fluffy dress. "Well after a short time of peace he got out. And because of my own actions, Hyrule no longer had the Hero of Time to save them."

Xander looked at her Gannon loose no Link not a good mix since he's the only one that ever seems to be able to do something about him. "Oh man, then no one could even wield the master sword; there was no way to even fight back."

Zelda got to her feet. "The gods knew that as well. And to stop Ganon and maybe punish me, they flooded my kingdom. If I had known what I knew now. Even not knowing Gannondorf would return. I would have never let Link go. He never even knew his dau…"

Xander's eyes widened and cut her off. "Whoa… that's one thing that was glossed over... you mean you and him."

Zelda looked at him. "He was a teenage boy we saved the whole world, we celebrated."

Xander looked at her in shock. "He had the mind of a nine year old you royal pedophile!"

Zelda frowned. "He grew up fast but he grew up in the light temple."

'That would explain why his muscles didn't atrophy' The soldier commented.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Excuse me one moment." He decides to think real loud. 'What's on your mind soldier boy?'

'I was going through Ocarina of Time in your head. It explains how Link was able to keep a grip on the sword or even walk after seven years. He must have been training for seven years instead of a coma like the game said.' The soldier explained.

'Well why didn't they just go with that and show us?' Xander asked.

'Would you be interested in doing the same thing 2555 times' The soldier replied.

Xander shrugged seeing the point as he turned to Zelda. "So why'd you let him go if he already had lived his childhood?"

"I wanted everyone else to live free of pain, free of Gannon. I got greedy and did I ever pay for it."

"'The road to hell is paved with good intentions."' Xander and the soldier replied simultaneously.

Xander grabbed Buffy's weapon chest and took a sword for himself. Zelda smiled and took the arrows for herself and Xander watched as they glowed gold. "Hey you're making light arrows."

"No, I'm not." Zelda replied as they transformed again into shining silver.

"Whoa, what are those?" Xander asked looking at the craftsman ship of the new arrows.

Zelda loaded up the arrows in a crossbow. "Silver arrows, if Ganon ever came in contact with these there wouldn't be anything left."

Xander looked at the arrows. "Well then why didn't you kill him before Hyrule flooded?"

"I tried." Zelda assured him remebering the cowardice of her people. "None of the soldiers had the courage to stand with me. And I couldn't hold down Ganon with my magic and shoot him at the same time. I tried, I failed. I only hope my father was able to get Tetra out on a lifeboat before the world drowned."

Xander grimaced realizing what fail likely meant. "I'm so sorry."

Zelda got to her feet. "I'm not a goddess I know that now. Come on Buffy's recommending we see Giles to end this gloomy tale."

* * *

The three walk heading for the library. When they're stopped by a familiar voice. "Buffy what's going on?"

Xander sighed seeing Angel with Cordelia. "It's Halloween run a muck dead boy."

Zelda looked at Angel. "He will not be harmed." Everyone looked at each other in confusion as Zelda grabbed each side of the vampire's head with her hands as his eyes glowed yellow then white as Angel fell to the floor and Angelus was destroyed.

Angel looked at her. He feels lighter the voices in his head the constant demon it's gone. "What did you do to me?"

"I purged the demon from your mind by breaking your curse and blessing you with your soul." Zelda answered. "But I want you to remain a vampire because we both know you still have some sins to atone for."

Angel looked away and weakly nodded. "Thank you"

'Like what?' Buffy asked not believing that evil thing was in Angel, tasted like chalk.

Zelda shakes her head. "Not now Buffy."

* * *

The four walk to Sunnydale High and hear another set of footsteps behind them. Zelda turns around and looks at Spike. "Walk away Spike, and I'll let you live."

"Tough talk from a wee little princess, I can smell you girl you're not the slayer anymore, you can't hurt me." Spike announced to everyone.

Xander and Angel each stepped in front of Zelda but the princess just nudged them aside and aimed her crossbow at Spike's stomach.

"Would you like to test that theory?" Zelda asked.

Spike smiled seeing the metal bolt and how badly it was aimed. "Take your best shot pet."

Zelda nudged Angel and Xander closer to her then fired. The arrow impacted on Spike and the blond haired vampire exploded like a water balloon from hell with blood, bones and guts raining down on Xander and Angel. With Buffy, Willow and Cordy safely protected as the other demons fled.

Xander looked at the goop on him. He hasn't played the original Zelda for years he forgot Silver arrows could do that. "Well, he's dead."

Angel was shaking chunks of guts and bone off his black jacket. "You think?"

* * *

Zelda, Willow and Cordy wait in Sunnydale library. They went to see Giles and after Cordy said she got her costume from Partytown and they all got theirs at Ethan's Giles told them to stay here but Willow went with him. Xander and Angel came in towels wrapped around their necks in Sunnydale gym gear.

"Clean yet?" Cordy asked.

Xander thought on it. "Three more ought to do it." Xander and Buffy held their heads as reality sunk back in."

Buffy quickly plucked the earrings Xander got her off her ears. A whole costume changed thanks to triforce earrings god bless them. "Thanks Xander, you saved my life."

"It's what I do." The carpenter quipped as he looked around almost sadly. "Where's Willow?"

Buffy moved her hand and Xander was wrapped in a blue crystal. She pointed to Cordy and the same thing happened as the two teens disappeared as Buffy nearly collapsed.

Angel looked around in shock but caught her before her head smacked the floor. "Buffy what have you done?"

"I sent Cordy home and I sent Xander to where he was needed." Buffy replied.

* * *

Xander looked around where Buffy sent him and saw Willow walking down the steps with her boo. She comes down with a smile and throws the thing in the trash.

Willow was taken back seeing him here. "Xander, how'd you get here so fast?"

"I think Buffy thinks I need to be here." Xander replied. "So am I the world's biggest idiot? I mean I had this incredible girl right here and I ignored her until she wore something new."

Willow smiled a bit. "Idiot is such a strong word."

"I wouldn't rule it out though." Xander quipped not believing it took a red number like that to get him to open his eyes, but not always. "You ever wonder what would have happened if Buffy showed up five minutes later when she came back this year."

"We'd be vampire kibble." Willow suggested but she knows what he means she was so nervous and happy at the same time she thought he was going to kiss her.

Xander looked at her nervously. "I kind of want to find out. If you want to?"

Willow looked at him. She loved him long before Buffy came to town. "I-I do, do, of course I do. Big, with the finding out. Just where do we go from here? I mean you said sister's lips."

Xander smiled and held out his arm. "I did, but maybe I needed to grow up from being Buffy's whipping boy first. You're a beautiful intelligent, funny woman that I should have seen a long time ago. So can I start making it up to you, the way I remember that night there was ice cream."

Willow smiled and took his hand. "Ice cream sounds good."

* * *

Buffy came in and sat down on the bed exhausted not believing how much that magic took out of her. She and Angel are going to a hotel in LA this weekend to exorcise a demon. She could feel the guilt pour off her still boyfriend when she told him how he left those people to die. Angel can't ever make it right but he can stop that thing from hurting anyone else with her help. She knows all about bad ideas thanks to Zelda's memories and letting people help, it's not his proudest moment but he does regret it. And that's enough to show her he's still a good man.

* * *

Buffy fell asleep and woke up in an alost mystical room from feeling the power of it she sees six giant medallions scattered across the floor ones for forest, fire, water, light, shadow, and spirit. Buffy realizes she's somehow ended up in the chamber of sages seeing Zelda pointing to her hand.

"We have a serious problem." The Hyrulian princess announced.

Buffy looked down and the saw the triforce of wisdom on her hand Giles is going to flip when he sees this it will be funny when his head does a 180 twist and breaks his neck realizing she's the wielder of the triforce of wisdom. "So what am I doing here?"

"When you became me you brought the triforce into your world. Power and courage will find their hosts soon you need to be ready and learn how to properly wield my magic so you don't tire out after two spells." Zelda answered. "What do you wish to learn first?"

Buffy smiled the one that will make her job fifty times easier. "Din's fire."

Zelda nodded and wasted no time she'll train Buffy in her sleep to fight the coming darkness if either piece of the triforce picks an evil person Buffy's world might suffer the same fate her's did.

* * *

Author's notes

Zelda is owned by Nintendo

I played OOT and realized, pardon the pun, but time has made it a depressing game.

Adult Timeline: Everyone drowned, strongly implied Saria, Darunia and the others died horribly to replace the original seven sages.

Child Timeline: Everyone is oblivious to how close it came to ending; Gannon kills the current water sage is banished to the twilight realm setting up twilight princess, and Link can't adjust to being a kid again and shuts everyone off, loses Navi, and without a fairy in the lost woods eventually becomes the Hero's shade.


	11. Chapter 10: Christmas Maniac

Xander stood in Ethan's not exactly thrilled at his costume. Buffy looked at him in confusion she could have sworn this was what he wanted.

Buffy looked to Xander confused he looks enough like him. "I thought this was what you wanted?"

"The complete costume is what I wanted." Xander corrected her as he looked himself over. "Without the mask and the hat I look like a guy that's found a very unique way to off himself on Christmas."

Buffy shrugged seeing his point. "True, but it really does give you that creep look."

Xander sighed accepting that this red and green shirt with black pants will be his Halloween costume at least he has the key part. "Why not, he's looked human before."

* * *

Buffy looked around as her surroundings took hold as the harsh reality came coming back to her as Spike flees the warehouse he cornered them in, if she was a noblewoman, then Xander was… oh god! "Xander!"

Her friend opened the door right behind her showing he was likely hiding behind it. "I'm OK, I'm right here."

Buffy looked him over and took a sigh of relief. "Good, you didn't?"

Xander shook his head. "He was too freaked out by how nice he looked, losing his powers, and actual demons to do any damage, he just hid like a sissy man."

* * *

Spike laid in bed with Drusilla, the slayer whaled on him but Dru always knew how to raise his spirits, among other things. The bleached blond vampire heard a gentle tapping on his door and rolled his eyes. "Come back at Sundown." The knocking continued until Spike shot to his feet and pulled the door open seeing no one. "I don't know who you are but you have three seconds to show yourself mate."

Drusilla opened her eyes and looked at him. "Spike, is it the slayer?"

"Nothing you need to worry about love, go back to sleep." Spike insisted.

Drusilla laid back and rested her head on a pillow only to whimper in pain as a four clawed hand pushed through her torso and wrapped around her side pulling her into the bed. "Spike!"

Spike looked at the scene in horror. "Dru!" he rushed over as his girlfriend was seemingly devoured by their bed. His game face came out as he tore through the hole desperately trying to reach the woman he loved. "Dru?"

Spike heard a noise in his bed and stopped trying. He had to listen to see if it was Dru but instead he was hit in the face by a seemingly volcanic eruption of vampire dust that used to be his girlfriend.

Spike backed up coughing as a figure emerged from the bed like a demon rising from hell in a brown fedora hat, the red and green sweater with the glove with four claws. "You've gotta be kidding me. Freddy's real!"

Xander smiled at him without pity. He can just hunt demons unlike the genuine article. "Not quite"

Spike watched as Xander vanished into thin air and he quietly backed up.

"What's the matter Willy? I haven't even cut you yet."

Spike chuckled and growled remembering the movie. "You think I'm scared of the slayer's living bait? Ponce"

"Dru was."

Spike did his best to keep his demeanor calm remembering the movie. "I'm not afraid of you."

Spike shouted in pain suffering the same wound as Drusilla. Xander looked at him with a sick smile on his face he has Freddy's evil but he'll do good with it. Unlike Freddy he's powered by the hellmouth's mystical energy so he doesn't care who's scared of him.

"We're just going to have to work on that aren't we?" Xander quipped as the floor broke open to flames as Xander drags Spike slowly down to hell with a sadistic smile on his face, he laughs as the vampire screams in horror seeing where the whelp of the scoobies is taking him.

* * *

**One Month Later**

Buffy came into the library with a confused look on her face after that assembly, yes it's sad that the Mayor died of night terrors but what was the point of that. She has to admit though this past month has been a breeze. But for the life of her she can't figure out why all her patrolling seems to be taking place at coffee shops anymore and all the demons seem to mumble her awake him asleep. Oh well at this rate demons might start fleeing and she'll get Giles gold star. Though she wonders why it seems Xander has moved on to Cordelia after she shot him down in her dreams. But hey she's happy, he's happy she'll call this an all around win.

* * *

Author's Notes

Freddy Krueger is owned by New Line Cinema. The company that made Lord of the rings is actually the house that Freddy Built.

What do you think vampires would do for 5, 6?


	12. Chapter 11: Never Buy Imports

Xander glared at Cordelia Chase from his prison this is all her fault and his as well and to think if he had only checked the costume and spotted the one thing that would make a world of difference.

* * *

**Earlier that Day**

Xander came into Ethan's not in the best of moods considering the woman in front of him. Xander lost a bet to the Sunnydale mean queen and now he has to dress as whatever she wants. Who would have thought Harmony was a history wiz.

Cordelia looked over to the female costumes. "Hmm, well here's one."

Xander's eyes shot out in fear looking at the white leotard. No way is he going as Powergirl. "No gender benders remember."

Cordy sighed that was her rule anyway. God gave her two incredible presents she wasn't wasting them dressing as a guy. "OK, besides I'm sure I can find a superman costume in spandex…" Cordelia stopped and saw something even better. "Or, something far more embarrassing in spandex!"

Xander looked at the costume. What teenager would dress up as a power ranger… even if it is Tommy? Xander looked it over the green and white spandex, the T-rex looking helmet, the little dragon dagger, and even a belt buckle with the power coin. Xander looked at the price and smiled. "Sorry Cor, far out of my budget."

Cordy had an evil smile holding up her dad's credit card. "Never leave home without it."

* * *

Willow looked at her own body oh this is bad. She turns around hearing a familiar tune it's different to what she Xander, and Jessie heard watching the show while babysitting but so many kids had that toy it's hard not to know what it is.

Willow ran up and saw the green ranger fighting a little band of demons off and easily chasing them off. Willow smiled seeing Xander wasn't hurt. "Xander are you OK?"

Xander looked at her confused. "Who are you?"

Willow looked at him his height. He seems shorter. Did he shrink? "Xander you shrunk… wait, I was a ghost, and now I am a ghost. And you were dressed as Tommy and now you really are Tommy?"

"I'm afraid I don't know Tommy?" Green ranger supplied.

Willow smiled at that. "Oh good, I'm still Willow so you're still Xander."

Xander shakes his head. "I have no idea who Xander is."

Willow looked at him getting frustrated. "For the love of… if you're not Xander and you're not Tommy who the hell are you?"

"Yamato Tribe Knight, Burai"

Willow looked at him for a quiet moment. "Oh" Who the hell is Burai? "Do you mind following me until we can find…" Willow's eyes lit up in relief as she ran over and Burai followed. "Buffy!"

Burai stared at the demons coming at him and took a fighting stance as Buffy simply fainted. Burai rushed the two demons in a fury punching one in the face and sweeping the legs of another knocking both demons to the ground.

Willow watched as Xander took out a knife as both demons get to their feet. "No wait; they're little kids in there."

Burai looked at her Bandora's doing no doubt. Can't go back to safety with kids in danger can't fight now what? "Is there a place we can hide so we can figure out what to do?"

Willow thought on it before replying. "Uh yeah, Buffy's house it's not that far."

* * *

Burai carried Buffy in as Willow walked behind them. Burai gently put her down only to hear screaming outside as he turned to see a Catwoman being chased by a monster. Burai sighed in exasperation wanting to know what the hell is happening here. He went out side and ran after the woman leaping into the air over her head and kicking the demon away knocking him down.

Cordy smiled in relief seeing him. "Xander, did you get shorter?"

Burai rolled his eyes and grabbed her by the arm pulling her back into the house.

Willow looked at Cordy. "OK your name is Cordelia you're not a cat."

"Thanks Willow, you went crazy why?" Cordy asked.

Willow looked at her flabbergasted. "Wait you remember?"

"Yeah, lucky me." Cordy replied as she turned to Xander. "And what happened to him he's barely taller then Buffy?"

Willow looked at Lady Buffy and the green ranger. "They have no idea who they are its some kind of amnesia. Watch them while I go talk to Giles."

Cordy looked at Buffy. "Who put her in charge?"

Buffy's eyes widen seeing Willow leave through the door. Burai watched and wondered if that's what awaited him in ten hours.

* * *

Burai and Buffy watched as a dark haired man entered the house and took a moment to collect himself. "Thank god you are alright its total chaos out there." Angel looked at Buffy. "What happened to your hair?" Angel looked at Xander in his green ranger getup and did everything he could to not laugh at the teen. "Xander… nice"

Burai could tell from the sarcasm in his voice it was an insult so he replied with a kick to the vampire's head. "You dare mock me?"

Angel got to his feet and tried to reply with a punch to the face and Burai blocked it and tried a punch with his free hand that Angel caught. Both freed their hands and Angel went to sweep Harris' legs wondering how the whelp is doing this as Burai jumps over the attack and tries a roundhouse that Angel ducked under. But didn't see Xander pull out a knife and swipe it across his arm drawing blood and forcing his game face out.

Buffy screamed in terror at Angel's face and ran out of the room as Cordelia ran in.

"Nobody kill anyone… please." Cordelia pleaded before she pointed to Xander. "He has amnesia."

"He's a monster." Burai replied pointing at the smug vampire.

Cordy nodded. "But he's a good one, like a care bear with fangs."

Angel looked at the door. "So if Xander is really the green ranger then Buffy… Oh god we have to help her."

"Big mighty slayer can take care of herself." Cordy pointed out.

Angel shakes his head. "Buffy can take care of herself. A 17th century bimbo can't it made them easy meals. We have to find her now." Burai took the lead running from the house with Angel following just as quick after with Cordelia giving chase.

* * *

Burai saw Buffy being harassed by a pirate and easily tackled him to the ground but the pirate was the first one up. The pirate took his sword and swung it down to cut his head in two and get back to Buffy but Burai easily blocked the attack with his dagger and kicked his opponent in the head knocking the pirate out. Burai looked at him and held a firm grip on the dagger, attack a lady he'll show this pirate something. Burai looked at the startled noblewoman and saw he was scaring her and chose to put the dagger away. There's enough blood on his hands already and thanks to Geki he's trying to do good with the little time he has left. Though knocking out that pirate felt really good to him for some reason.

The three turned around seeing Willow running up to them. "Guys you have to get back inside."

Angel sees Spike coming and quickly grabs Buffy as he carries her into a warehouse. Burai put his hands together in a motion resembling a videogame and created an energy ball he threw and stunned Spike and the others before he fled into the warehouse.

* * *

Spike smiled inching closer to Buffy knowing the demons have poof and the power rangers, until he heard a little kid starting to cry. Spike turned around and looked down and saw Buffy's wig in his hand. Uh oh.

Buffy smiled getting to her feet. "Hi honey, I'm home."

Buffy brutally pummeled Spike with a smile until he fled. Damn Miss Priss for throwing all three of her stakes at passing cars thinking they were demons. After tonight a dusty Spike would have been a very happy ending. Buffy looked at Angel and smiled when he asked if she was OK and the two left.

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Gee, it felt like I was here." She looked around and saw Xander and Willow had disappeared too. "What is this ditch kids on the cheerleader day."

* * *

Xander opened his eyes and saw the dragon ranger costume has disappeared with the dragon buckler. He took a moment to view his surroundings it seems to be a white cave like it snowed in here but the water is very warm and there's a bed here along with a fridge. Xander looked inside and saw an endless supply of twinkees candy water and food.

Xander went to the other end and his eyes lit up in fear seeing a metallic demon with evil red eyes. "Demon" Xander quickly reached for the gold belt buckle but nothing was there and the demon put his hands up.

"Easy Mr. Harris, I'm a good guy I swear. You've been in here for six hours and I never even took a nibble." The demon replied.

"Oh really, then tell me what is your name?" Xander asked.

"Skip"

Xander looked at the demon and did all he could not to laugh.

"Hey!" Skip protested.

Xander put his hands up. "I'm sorry, it's just Skip."

"You know a little gratitude wouldn't hurt considering I just saved your life Lavelle." Skip replied.

Xander stopped. "I'm sorry and what do you mean saved my life."

"Who did you go as on Halloween?" Skip asked

Xander quivered in fear as the realization hit. "No! This is my original body… it can't…how?" He turned to Skip and pointed. "But Burai got squished by rocks like a bug not me."

Skip frowned poor kid. "Doesn't matter the magic that kept Burai alive mixed with the chaos magic."

"How long do I have?" Xander asked.

Skip looked at him before. "Just like Burai forty hours on earth since the spell was cast. Think of this as your lapse less room time freezes for you while you are in here. But as soon as you go back to earth the clock starts running again."

Xander did the math. "Two hours as Burai that means thirty eight hours left."

Skip pointed down and Xander looked at a digital watch on his arm that read 38:04:17 as the demon explained. "They thought it would suit you better then a candle but that's here too."

Xander looked at the candle that is now his very lifeline to the little time he has left as it burns bright. This is Cordy's fault. "How do I get back to earth?"

Skip held up Burai's dagger the zyusouken. "The same way he did."

"Well, at least I get a free knife out of the deal." Xander quipped taking the dagger and he can use his fee time to practice Burai's fighting skills so he doesn't forget it.

Skip put his hand on his shoulder sympathetically. "Sorry kid but this was the best we could do on such short notice. You can check in on your friends by just thinking really hard and looking into the water pond over there. You can also get all the cable channels there if you want even girl on girl no one can see in here, I recommend Jurassic Park."

Xander looked at what has become his life. He guesses its better then death. "Thanks Skip."

Skip nodded she doesn't know why his boss went through all the trouble of setting this up but as long as he's getting paid… he can be a good Samaritan. "Yeah well we still expect you to do important things in this world kid, even on borrowed time."

Skip disappeared and Xander looked at the water focusing hard on his friends as an image of Buffy and Willow came up in the library unaware he's missing so far. If only he had made sure the belt buckler said MMPR instead of Zyu. He looks down at his weapon and thinks it over. "I wonder if I can summon Dragon Caesar with this thing."

* * *

Author's Notes

Super Sentai is owned by Toei


	13. Chapter 12: Double Date?

Buffy looked at the awkwardly placed pumpkin and as it shouted she just as quickly put it back. Willow came up to her in a smile with a bag. "What'd you get?"

Willow opened the bag revealing a ghost with boo on it.

Buffy sighed. "Word of advice?"

"Not spooky enough?" Willow asked.

"You're never going to get noticed if you keep hiding." Buffy replied. "You're missing the point of Halloween."

Willow smiled. "Free candy!"

"It's come as you aren't night. The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions." Buffy answered as her eyes lit up in excitement and sometimes you just need the right costume like this. "How about this one?" She said holding up a costume for her

Willow's face nearly drained of color. There's supportive and then there's... that. It looks like a green bathing suit with a stick. "Buffy! It's a little revealing don't you think?"

Buffy shakes her head. "No, I mean it looks like a bathing suit but, you'll be a dish, honest."

Willow looked it over. "I just don't think it will be me."

Buffy shrugged and that Charlie Brown is what Halloween is all about. "And that's the point. Look, Halloween is the night that not you 'is' you, but not 'you'. You know?"

Willow looked up and got an idea maybe one that will make Buffy back off as she grabs a costume for her. "I'll tell you what. I'll do it, if you will too?"

Buffy looked in the package it's the same exact suit as Willows except her clothes are blue and her stick is two war fans. Buffy thinks it over and then decides to support her friend even if she doesn't want her to from the look on her face. "Deal"

Willow let out a quiet whimper as an Englishman came up to Buffy.

"You know we have a much fancier princess outfit."

Buffy looked at the blue getup. "This is a princess outfit?"

"The blue one yes, the green one is her bodyguard I believe." Ethan replied. "I also have their boyfriends if you're interested."

Buffy smiled having an idea. "Oh yeah, very interested."

Willow looked at her. "Why are we interested?" Ethan handed them out. Willow held one costume and Buffy held another.

"Xander and Angel" Buffy replied like it should have been obvious. "You and Xander can spend some time together, and me and Angel can have a nice normal Halloween like normal people."

"Assuming Xander doesn't pick the one that's your boyfriend." Willow answered.

"I don't pick who's boyfriend?" Xander asked walking up to the two miffed a five year old beat him to the toy gun.

Willow held up the two costumes. "We're buying costumes for you and Angel. Pick one."

Xander looked at the costumes and immediately chose the one Willow was holding. "That one, it comes with a cool hat that can hide my face. I don't want people knowing I was hanging out with Angel all night."

Ethan smiled well the slayer won't be helpless but it should be interesting.

* * *

Buffy and Willow came to Buffy's house after they dropped off Angel's costume and honestly she thinks Xander let Angel have it because of all the red that was on it. It will be a nice change from his usual black. Buffy smiled sliding her blue one piece up thank god mom is out of town. She grabbed the blue heels and put them on along with the blue gloves. She takes her war fans and puts them on each side as she grabs her mask and wraps it around her mouth. Buffy looked in the mirror and smiled if she looks this good she can't wait to see Willow.

She hears a knock on the door and comes down and opens the door for Xander seeing him in blue pants and some sort of monk shirt with bracers on his arms and a hat that covers his face.

Xander took his hat off and curtsied out stretching. "Princess… Buffy... what did you do to your hair?" Looking at the slayer's now raven black hair.

"It's dye" Buffy answered. "Came with the clothes and washes out in the shower."

Xander nodded as both turned to a sound upstairs that was a scream.

"Willow!" Xander quickly ran up the stairs and Buffy decided to take her time having a good idea as to what Willow screamed about. It burned her too but she's a slayer.

* * *

Xander ran right in and Willow was holding her eyes. "What happened?"

"I burned myself with the dye can you get me a towel?" Willow pleaded.

Xander nodded and grabbed a towel and gently dabbed it on her eyes.

"Don't rub." Willow pleaded.

Xander dabbed the on her eyes gently getting the dye out. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I did it for Harmony when me and Jess had those crazy crushes on her and Cordy freshman year."

"At least one of you wised up. Although I can't exactly say I'm surprised by Harmony's status as a blonde." Willow quipped.

Xander threw the towel aside and now he had his first view of Willow. The green one piece and matching gloves and boots showing her arms and legs how has he missed her. "Wow, Willow…"

Willow shyly put her staff at her legs. "Yeah, nice"

"I was going to go with beautiful, but also nice." Xander said dumbly.

Willow looked at him. "Can you help me with my mask?"

Xander smiled holding it and turned to his friend, his very good friend, get your head on straight Harris. "Mask, mask of Willow"

Willow smiled seeing his hand go up. "You alright?"

Xander playfully tied the green string into a knot and stopped as his fingers ran up Willow's cheek.

Willow looked into his eyes as her heart fluttered in her chest not being this close since the ice cream at the end of summer. Xander moves slowly towards her and Willow's head tilts closer to him as his lips brush against hers.

Xander quickly realized what he was doing and who he was doing it with and pulled away. "Sorry, I shouldn't have... I..."

Willow cut him off pushing her lips to his in a gentle kiss no way is he apologizing for this. It lasts a little longer but they break apart again looking each other in the eyes both seeing what they needed as Willow wrapped her arms around his neck and Xander wrapped his arms around her waist pulling them closer together as their kiss deepens passionately.

* * *

Buffy walked up wondering what's taking them so long. The slayer's eyes widened as she saw the scene and Willow broke up the kiss as they needed to breathe as Buffy mumbled out. "Wow, I mean I didn't… what… when…" She regained her calm and focused on Xander. "That's not how you described Willow's lips!"

"Kind of unexpected on this end too." Xander agreed. "Buffy I..."

Buffy realizes she likely just walked in on the first one. "Oh, we still have a half hour before Snyder. I was wondering if you'd ever wake up." She realizes what she said sounds like a crazy person damn it she's so happy for her friends it broke her. "I'm going to go watch TV, really loud so you two just... I can't hear anything." Buffy shouted as she ran down the steps.

Xander smiled looking at his best friend. "So do you want to talk about this?"

Willow shakes her head. "Not enough time to talk only a half hour." Xander goes to leave but Willow grabs his hand. "Doesn't mean I don't want to do the other thing. As long as it's with me and not this." She added pointing to her costume.

Xander smiled and pulled her close remembering the end of Summer when he almost kissed her but Buffy came back and pretty much slammed the door on any chance of the two of them with her little slut dance. "No, it's you Wills, sorry I took too long to cross the finish line and realize it."

With that the two went back to where they were when Buffy cut them off for a half hour. Willow frowned having to put her mask up over her mouth. "How do I look?"

"Amazing" Xander answered. "Kind of surprised you'd wear something like this though."

"Buffy burned my Boo." Willow answered. "So are you ready to go?"

Xander smiled and kissed her gloved hand. "After you, my lady."

"Thank you kind sir."

* * *

Buffy smiled looking at her two friends as the door opened revealing Angel with a long black hair wig covered with a red headband, in a red wife beater with following it up with black pants and a red stripe running down each leg.

Xander did all he could to not laugh. "You look like a deformed Bruce Lee."

Angel smiled seeing Willow elbow him in the ribs but it was gentle Angel took a moment and smelled the difference between the two, good for them. Maybe now he can get some peace from Xander. "And who are you supposed to be top hat?"

Buffy rolled her eyes alright enough. Buffy did a spin. "So what do you think?"

Angel took a moment and looked her over dear god he shouldn't be having these thoughts. "You're beautiful."

Buffy looked at him with a smile. "So you prefer this as opposed to me dressing up like a woman in your time."

"Yes, especially since they were all empty headed morons, kind of like like 17th century Cordelias." Angel replied as he wrapped an arm around Buffy and Xander wrapped his around Willow as the two new couples went to pick up their kids.

* * *

Buffy took a breath as they are meeting Xander and Angel at the end of the block, She honestly doesn't trust them beyond that to not kill each other. She smiled as her and Willow lower their heads as something new takes over. Buffy sees a demon rush and grabs one of her now steel war fans cutting it in the stomach and scaring it off.

"Kitana"

The princess of Edenia turned and saw her oldest friend shimmer in blinking white light as she ran up to her.

"Jade, do you know what's going on? Are we being invaded by Outworld."

The green dressed assassin shook her head. "Look to the sky Kitana we're back on earth realm."

Kitana looked at it and wondered how she got here. "How did we get here?"

Around the corner two Shaolin monks are fighting off demons being careful not to seriously hurt them.

Kung Lao knocked one demon down and watched the last three go after Liu Kang as earth's greatest champion fights them off. Kung Lao took off his hat and threw at the last one coming towards him cutting the demon's leg as it fled in fear, He recognizes the look in his friend's eyes and frowns. "I hope your girlfriend is worth the trouble Liu Kang."

Liu Kang didn't say a word and once all the demons were unconscious the two ran across the block running into Kitana and Jade.

Kitana smiled seeing him. "Liu Kang?"

Liu smiled and hugged excited about seeing her again before kissing her knowing full well he can't be with her on Edenia as she wished. Jade and Kung Lao looked at each other and roll their eyes in mutual disgust at the scene their friends are making. Liu Kang and Kitana at their finest and them without any insulin.

The four looked and heard a chuckle as Spike comes out with a group of fake demons.

Spike smiled looking at the poof. "Well look at you Peaches, hanging around with children looking like Bruce Lee."

Kung Lao looked him over curiously he was not aware Liu Kang knew Billy Idol. "Friend of yours?"

Liu Kang shakes his head. "Never seen him before in my life."

Spike smiled seeing the slayer just as confused. "I'll just eat and run."

Spike ran at the slayer as Kitana pulled out both fans and started rapidly spinning the vampire into the air. Jade rushed up and implaed the vampire through the stomach on her staff. Kung Lao smiled and threw his hat at an angle as it curved to the right cutting off his legs. Kitana used her fans and cut off the vampires arms before closing them and shoving them into the vampire's eye sockets. Liu Kang's hands lit on fire as he shot a fireball at the vampire ending him.

* * *

The four kombatants stood as the sun rose and Ethan's spell came to an end of natural causes after they fought all night to portect as many as possible. Buffy shook the cob webs off and came to a smile, slayers might have combat instinct but she now has ten thousand years of fighting prowess along with Willow who just smiled. She turned to the boys as her eyes rose in horror.

"Angel!"

She ran over and saw the vampire enjoying his first view of sunrise in over two hundred years. "Angel you're…"

"Pale" Xander filled in.

Buffy looked at Angel who was practically glowing. "You're alive."

Angel smiled ordinarily this would scare the hell out of him but he remembers everything Liu Kang knows as a little fireball appears in his hand and he quickly extinguishes it by closing his fist. "I'm human, but I still have the power to protect you."

Xander smiled as he teleported from his spot to right in front of Angel. "If it means anything you'll still be Deadboy to me."

Angel glared at him and disappeared in a haze of green smoke as a dragon emerged from it ready to make a snack out of the teenager.

"Angel, for the love of all that is holy you're Angel." Xander answered as Angel became human again. He walked over to Willow and snuggled in close. "Besides, you're not a demon, and I had my eyes open. As long as you're actually a human you're Angel."

Buffy smiled this has been a great Halloween. Xander and Willow are together, She and Angel are together, and to top it off Angel is human.

All four are taken out of their bliss for the moment by Harmony screaming as she comes out of the alley with a horribly disfigured mouth. "What did you losers do to me?"

"What did you dress as?" Xander asked wigged out.

Harmony looked herself over. "I saw what Buffy and Willow were dressing as I figured I'd make it cool and those two look like the dweebs they are."

Buffy sighed seeing this. "Well, at least now we know who dressed up as Mileena."

* * *

Author's Notes

Mortal Kombat is owned by netherealm studios

I was going to have it end with Buffy accidentally killing Angel by kissing him but I chose against it.


	14. Chapter 13: Jackass

"Only a Jackass can change the world." FFX-2

* * *

Xander looked in awe at the big red jacket he has sunglasses and all he needs is that really big sword that is almost as tall as him. Xander quickly gathered the costume together since Cordy stole his toy gun out of spite from Partytown being burnt to the ground. Now if only his current costume was real.

* * *

That night the spell took hold as Willow ran over and saw Xander going toe to toe with a demon. One arm out of his jacket sunglasses with a scar on his face from a powerful assault years ago and a bottle of booze located at his side Xander holding a now real very big sword as the demon growled. Xander smiled dropping his one sleeve down ready to fight and rushed him. Willow could only watch as the demon was shot into the sky like a rocket when Xander hit him with the sword.

Willow looked at him. "Ok you can't do that again."

"Why not?" The swordsmen asked. "They're just fiends."

"No they're not…" Willow looked at him realizing he just said fiend. So if she became a ghost that means Xander became. "Sir Auron, please just follow my lead." Willow pleaded.

"Why should I listen to an unsent?" Auron asked.

Willow looked at him. "Because I'm not unsent you are. I'm just out of my body at the moment. Now come on."

* * *

Auron followed Willow as they saved Buffy and Private Chase before making it to the library and staying put as Giles ordered. Xander felt the spell break as he regained control. He clung desperately to Auron's memories of magic and swordsman skill so he wouldn't revert to the zeppo.

* * *

**Four Months Later**

Angelus smiled considering it a job well done. His soul is lost to the ether for good after killing Jenny and not even feeding off her. Showing Buffy and the watcher she was nothing but a toy to him. Man he couldn't have planned tonight any better.

Angelus smiled until someone threw a Molotov cocktail at the table and he fled with Spike and Drusilla. The back door was kicked open by Xander who looked at the three with a somewhat sadistic smile on his face and a Japan fashioned katana in his hand.

Angelus smiled. "Sorry about that, I was worried for a moment, I thought it was the watcher. You know someone I had to worry about jackass."

Xander held his sword at the back. Its not anywhere near as big as one of Auron's but he's young so give it a few years. Also he knows Angelus will just keep talking instead of fighting giving him the time he needs.

Angelus smiled looking at the boy but Drusilla was concerned. "Daddy?"

Xander held the sword to his side.

Angelus just looked at him with a smile. "Buffy's white knight, it must kill you that I got to her first, which left you with G.I. Jane as a consolation prize."

Xander held his sword in relative calm. "A, I don't think anyone would just 'settle' for Cordelia. B, thanks to you and another friend..." Auron mainly after seeing Jecht become Sin he understood the hesitation Buffy had but he still planned to kill him fighting by Tidus' side unlike Buffy. "I got over Buffy on her birthday. See, I get not being able to kill you, hell, I still wonder if I killed Jesse everyday. But she didn't capture you she just let you go to kill to your heart's content."

Angelus did a little curtsy with a smile as Drusilla repeated. "Daddy?"

"Not now Dru." Angelus admonished. "OK, so why are you here? To save Giles from the evil of killing me?"

"Nope" Xander replied as the Englishman walked in behind him. "I did that three minutes ago. And it was more about making sure he didn't get himself killed."

Angelus watched as Xander's playful smile all but disappeared. He caught up to Giles outside the factory and stopped him from going alone and they planned this one together. "So why are you still here?"

Xander put on a much darker smile as the winds started surrounding him as the two vampires backed up wondering what form of magic this was. "Although she was not the woman we thought she was, Jenny was still our friend Angelus. YOU WILL PAY FOR HER DEATH!"

Xander swung his sword in one quick move as the winds moved to all three members of the scourge. The demonic trio was now sucked into a tornado and Xander pulled out a yellow bottle he handed to Giles.

Giles looked at it for a moment and threw the bottle into the tornado as it became an almost living wall of fire burning the three vampires inside.

Xander watched the fire spread that was no where near a little smidge like she said. "Damn it Cordy, run!"

Xander and Giles quickly ran out of the factory and right into Buffy as all three fell to the floor as the factory burned to the ground in moments.

Buffy looked up with widened eyes. "What the hell did you two do?"

Xander watched the building come down in a wall of fire. "Um chemistry experiment. We wanted to know what happened when Cordy uses too much Nitro glycerin. The answer is kill a lot of vampires very quickly."

Giles was coughing but grabbed Xander by the throat and pushed him into the wall looking like he could start choking the life out of him at any moment. "Why didn't you use that attack before? On Valentine's day, you could have…"

Xander frowned and fought to just stay standing damn Ripper side of him. "Angel caught me off guard, I didn't have a sword, booze don't actually work despite what you see on TV, and I didn't have the nitro bomb Cordy gave me for self defense until today. I wish I could have but. I couldn't. I'm sorry."

Giles frowned and released him. Buffy frowned realizing Angel is now dead and buried Xander leaned on the wall as Buffy and Giles cry for the respective loves that they lost.

* * *

**Nine Months Later**

Willow glared at her best friend. "I can't believe you told them."

"Yeah, I'm blaming Auron for this one." Xander replied sitting on the library table next to his best friend listening to Cordy lay into them.

Cordy looked at the two in disgust. "I can't believe you two. Eleven… eleven years and it's not until you each already have someone Xander finally goes hey Willow has breast."

Xander looked at her. "Cordy, we didn't mean for it to happen, neither of us wanted it to happen."

"Yeah, your lips fell on each other and your tongues just got stuck together." Cordelia deadpanned heading for the exit.

Xander looked at her and he can almost feel Auron saying get out of here and go after her you jackass. Xander looked at the the door for a moment then he ran after her. "Cordy can you just wait?"

"I don't want to?"

Xander frowned as he cut her off. "Can we please just talk?"

"What is there to talk about?" Cordy asked. "I'm half tempted to shoot you both and I know how to make it look like a very painful accident. I can't believe you'd do something like this. Embarrass me like that."

"Cordy it was a horrible accident and one I will never let happen again. And embarrass you?" Xander asked almost stunned. "I made a mistake and I told you and Oz in private and let me tell you something for someone who's four feet tall, he knows how to throw a punch, that's twice he's hit me now. And for the record it's not like you haven't embarrassed me before either."

"What are you talking about?" Cordy asked she treated him far better then any of her other boyfriends.

Xander chuckled. "What you seriously forgot Valentine's day? You remember the day I started having actual feelings for you and you dumped me, in front of everyone... in Sunnydale... on Valentine's Day. You don't think that hurt?"

"Yeah for about six seconds until you and Amy channeled the great roofy spirit?" Cordy countered.

Xander held his head this whole thing just got a whole lot worse. "Yeah I was hurting and I did something stupid. I'm just trying to…"

"What Xander, what are you trying to say?" Cordy demanded.

"I love you!" Xander shouted back before calming down. "I love you, and I can't believe I did something so stupid to screw up the best part of my life. Just tell me what you want me to say or tell me what to do and I'll do it." Cordelia watched as he practically crumbled. "I'm sorry Cordy. I'm so sorry."

Cordelia looked at him for a moment before regaining her composure if she goes back to who she used to be she can't be mopey. "Just give me some time."

* * *

Two days later Xander was standing in the library across from Faith. Although Kendra wasn't killed by Drusilla she was a slayer and a nest in Shanghai took her down keeping fate on track. Cordelia sat on the desk with a smile as Willow and Buffy looked on. Oz was making sure Giles wasn't anywhere near by when this happened.

Faith looked at Xander. "Xan, are you sure you want to do this? Because there's easier ways to get in girls pants."

Xander nodded ready for this. "It's what she wants."

Buffy looked at Cordy. "Are you really going to make him do this?"

Cordy shrugged. "I offered you the chance to do it, but you refused and he wants to make it up to me."

"Whatever happened to diamonds are a girl's best friend?" Buffy asked.

Cordy smiled. "That's number three on the list. Faith whenever you're ready."

Faith smiled and hit Xander in the chest with a roundhouse kick so hard she knocked Xander off his feet and he bounced off the bookcage to the smile of Oz and Cordy not believing he actually went through with it.

"Christ" Xander muttered holding his chest unable to get back to his feet.

Cordy smiled getting to her feet. "That's enough for today, I'll use my other nine at a later time. Xander… you can pick me up for homecoming, just keep your distance from the red hussy."

Xander weakly put his thumb up to show he understood as Willow and Oz left and Faith bailed seeing she wouldn't be able to hit him again.

Buffy smiled and helped him up to the chair. "You know you can always just date someone else."

Xander looked at her funny. "As I recall a certain girl I know, we'll just call her Muffy."

Buffy looked at him and playfully smacked him in the arm as Xander continued. "Said I exposed the smoochies, was going to have to deal with the consequences."

Buffy got an icepack Giles keeps for her and threw it to Xander who put it on his ribs. "Yeah, but getting kicked ten times by a slayer seems a little excessive, especially for Cordelia." And god knows what else is on that list that Xander has to do.

Xander looked at her. "Buffy, we talked about this on Valentine's day. This is my story, I'm going to make it a good one and its one I want to share with Cordelia."

Buffy watched with a smile as Xander left she took a few minutes to reorganize the office but there wasn't much she could do about the dent in the cage. Buffy walked out and saw Xander nowhere to be seen as she came to the broom closet and heard a slam against the door causing her to smile and walk away.

* * *

A higher power curses to the skies wondering why Xander poured his heart out like that they were supposed to be awkward phone calls when they got caught not when he confessed. But with Angel dead and Cordelia looking likely to stay in Sunnydale she is cutoff. She can never go to earth. What the hell happened to her plan? What Jackass did this?"

* * *

Author Notes

Final Fantasy X and X-2 are owned by Square Enix


	15. Chapter 14: Almost Human

Xander frowned coming into Ethan's. "You know its bad enough we have to dress up in costumes but you know the worst part."

"You can't go cheap because of the tribute to missing people around the world all the volunteers are stuck with." Willow asked.

Xander looked at the floor. He can't even complain around her. "Will, you know me too well."

"I try." The red head finished.

Buffy had a chuckle at the two. She's willing to bet that if Willow was a demon they'd be together right now. "Let's just get our costumes for tonight and get out of here."

* * *

Buffy handed the slip Snyder gave her when she 'volunteered' for this fun night and twenty dollars. Ethan looked at it and realized these three are Ripper's little friends he gets a very special bag for the slayer.

Buffy opened it and found a set of scrubs and a hospital name tag. She smiled looking at the picture this could be an older her, if she could ever get a night away from slaying to focus on her grades. "Nina Pickering, suddenly I'm grateful for Buffy."

Xander handed his tag to Ethan and the Englishman gave him his bag. He went through it and saw blue scrubs and fingerless gloves he sees the name tag and chuckled. "John Mitchell… tell me this guy wasn't in witness protection."

Willow smiled getting the last bag from Ethan to her surprise it's not scrubs it's just a white shirt, jeans, and a grey jacket. "Anna Claire Sawyer, nice"

Ethan smiled watching as they left. This should definitely be entertaining.

* * *

Willow walked up to another house well this should be the last one. She watches the old lady give out candy until one of her kids starts strangling her. Willow goes to stop him until she feels a shortness of breath as she collapses. A brunette arises out of Willow's body and sees two demons coming to her. "Well, that's new."

The demons rushed her and Annie Sawyer quickly put her hands up and sent them both hurdling into the wall.

Annie took a moment and focused her eyes on the carnage that was currently in the streets. She saw a familiar face and smiled as she ran over and stuck up her hand. Xander turned around and smiled seeing a familiar face as she throws a demon at the wall. "Mitchell"

"Annie" Mitchell replied thankful to see someone else in the middle of this madness. "How did we get here from the hospital?"

Annie shrugged before knocking away another demon with a wave of her hand. "Last thing I remember I was at the house. Mitchell, if we're here and all sorts of other monsters are here, does that mean George is here too?"

Mitchell shrugged. "I don't see him anywhere nearby or smell him. Trust me he has a very unique smell."

"Guys, what the hell is going on?"

Mitchell turned around and saw George's girlfriend of all people make an appearance. "Nina, have you seen George?"

Nina shakes her head. "No, he's not here. So what do we do?"

Mitchell looked at the options and they weren't exactly that good. "We gotta get indoors with the exception of Annie I don't think anyone should stay out here."

Annie looked at him. "What, is this the kind of crazy things ghosts dream of?"

Mitchell shakes his head as the trio ran to make it in doors stopping inside a house. Their relief is quickly cut off by a scream. Mitchell opens the curtain and sees a cat woman running away from a monkey man. "Annie"

Annie nodded before running through the wall and to the outside. She put her hand up and quickly sent the demon flying.

Cordy turned around not expecting that from Willow with a dye job. "What's going on?"

"No time, get inside now!"

* * *

Cordelia ran as fast as she could when to her surprise Willow ran right through the wall Cordelia opened the door to see Xander, and Buffy just leaning on the wall observing the carnage outside. Mitchell looks down and sees a cut on the girl's arm and quietly moves to the other side of the room. "Buffy, Xander what are you two doing?"

"What twat names their kid Buffy?" Nina asked.

Cordy looked at her OK slow words today. "You, Buffy, the vampire slayer, stop playing stupid."

Mitchell looked at Nina and instantly backed away. "You're the slayer; you never told us you're the slayer."

"I'm not a slayer." Nina replied. "Not that there's anything wrong with it, I hope."

"What's a slayer?" Annie asked.

Mitchell looked at George's girlfriend in a new sense of fear. "A very powerful girl that tends to kill us."

Nina looked at him. "To be fair, you eat people." She turned to Cordy. "And I'm not a slayer." She looked back to Mitchell. "Seriously I don't even know what a slayer is."

Cordy looked at the three. "So what are you guys exactly?"

Annie rolled her eyes wanting to get back to Britain where things made sense. "I'm a ghost, Mitchell is a vampire, and Nina is sleeping with a werewolf."

Nina looked away from Cordy. The she's pretty sure fake chest bimbo doesn't need to know about her life. George scratched her and right now she's just hoping that, that wasn't enough to turn her. "So how do we go back to where we belong?"

Cordy thought it over for a minute. "We need to see Giles, he can fix this."

The four followed Cordelia's lead as they went outside and Mitchell just put a hand up and stopped them.

Annie looked at him. "What is it?"

"We're not alone." Mitchell said and before most people could even act Mitchell was in a blur and suddenly behind them with his arms wrapped behind another vampire's neck in a chokehold with his own fangs sticking out.

Nina turned to the scene and saw a vampire with Spiky hair lat at night and phoning in those fake brooding features who'd fall for that? "Hey, easy Mitchell"

"He's a vampire looking for a meal." Mitchell protested.

Angel broke free with an Elbow to the younger vampire's ribs. Mitchell countered with a punch to the face. Cordy looked at the two and got in the middle as they both looked away, Mitchell avoiding the scent of her blood, and Angel avoiding the scent on her neck as he was forced to do a great deal of last night while waiting for Buffy.

Cordy looked at the two. "OK, you're both good vampires. Like care bears with fangs."

Mitchell looked at her. "I'm not a care bear you tart."

Nina rolled her eyes. "Who cares, let's just go."

Annie nodded in agreement wanting to get away from this madness ghost werewolves and vampires are one thing but this is something new. The five moved in a rush for the library following Cordelia's lead.

* * *

Annie sat in the library next to Nina who wasn't exactly thrilled. After everything they've done now they just have to wait. "You feeling OK? You've been distant these past two weeks."

Nina nodded. "I'm fine. But how come the girl can see you."

Annie shrugged she never really thought of it. "Probably the same way you can now I'm just visible."

Nina breathed a sigh of relief. "Glad to hear it." She looks over to Angel. "What are you staring at?"

"You smell funny." The vampire replied not being able to place his girlfriend's scent.

"Wanker" Nina muttered.

Nina and Mitchell blinked for a moment as Buffy and Xander finally regained control of their bodies.

Buffy looked over at Angel. "I don't smell funny."

Angel backed away yes she still smells funny but he can't place it.

Cordelia watched as Xander practically ran out the door. "What's his hurry?"

* * *

Xander ran out and headed down Willow's route until he saw the redhead passed out on the steps and quickly cuddled her close holding her. "Willow, Willow, Willow wake up!"

"Hey, not so loud" Willow complained getting up in Annie's clothes to Xander's relief.

Xander took a breath in relief. "Sorry, I was just panicked with you being technically dead for longer then six minutes. I thought, I thought you might find your door."

Willow smiled seeing why Xander was so concerned he was scared of her moving on to the after life. "You're not getting rid of me that easily." She sees a trash can and raised her hand but it didn'tmove. "Oh, I'm going to miss that."

Xander let out a wry laugh. "Speak yourself I am perfectly happy being back to perfectly normal human me."

Willow looked at him. "Happy to be the normal guy again"

"Ecstatic" Xander replied moving a wave of red hair from her looking at her face. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you. "I need you, Will. I mean, how am I gonna pass trig, you know?" They both chuckle. "And who am I gonna call every night... and talk about everything we did all day? You're my best friend. You've always..." Xander looked at her and in a moment he was about to lose her he finally got it as their lips collided in a quick kiss. But old feelings came back apparently when Willow did nothing. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

Willow quickly grabbed his head and kissed him deeply and passionately for a much longer kiss. Buffy told her carpe diem. "Never apologize for that. So um are we?"

"I don't know." Xander answered honestly outside of bug woman that was his first kiss.

"Want to have coffee and figure out?" Willow asked.

"Coffee" Xander stated more as a question.

"It's a caffeinated beverage, at the bronze, with the rest of the people our age." Willow explained.

Xander smiled there will never be anyone like his Will. "I think a caffeinated beverage sounds great."

* * *

**Two Weeks later**

Buffy stood in the sunshine club for lack of a better word here she is trapped with a bunch of dim witted vamp want to bes and an old friend from Hemery looking to make himself a vampire. One good thing happened; Xander finally opened his eyes to the incredible hottie right in front of him. And then two bad, first her and Angel broke up. This was actually mutual last week. Buffy being in the mind of a grown up realized carpe diem works at sixteen but won't at thirty-six. Angel has just been giving her confused and dirty looks since Halloween. Angel said he'd stay and help fight but doesn't want that kind of relationship. The other fun thing well Ford was here and it looked like she might have a normal relationship. But nope he's dying and is selling her out to Spike for immortal life.

She looked at her friend one last time. "Ford, please help me stop this."

Ford does nothing and Buffy runs to the steps as tires screech. "People listen to… ah" Buffy held her chest feeling a shortness of breath before letting out a howl in agony clenching her chest. "Ford, y-you don't follow lunar cycles by any chance do you." She screamed again this time her hands digging into the floor to brace for the pain as Slayer strength digs through concrete.

Ford looked at her with a smile. "Full Moon Buffy, what better night?"

"Get these people out." Buffy ordered before screaming in pain from another attack. "Now!"

Ford watches as he hears multiple bones go crunch in Buffy what the hell is happening to her.

Spike opened the door and to his surprise saw Buffy suffering cardiac arrest. He heard her heart spike and slows to a crawl. "Well this is disappointing who would have thought the slayer was claustrophobic." He turned to the others. "Take them all leave the slayer for me."

The vampires scrambled as each grabbed their own human as Spike lifted Buffy up by her neck.

Buffy looked at Spike and is too much in pain to see straight let alone put up a fight. She shouts in pain feeling like her chest is going to collapse as her fingernails grew longer. She went to put her arm up to protect but Spike just bit her wrist and started sucking slayer blood.

Spike shouted in pain as whatever the hell Buffy has coursing through her that wasn't blood as he fell to the floor feeling the world go white around him. Buffy got up on pure adrenaline and ran to Drusilla still shouting in pain and her body started to bulk up as she popped out of her shirt and bra Hulk style and wrapped an arm around Drusilla keeping her blood close to the vampire's mouth. "Spike!"

Spike looked at her and then at the group. "Everybody stop."

Buffy held on to Dru for another convulsion as her mouth formed canines and her fingers clawed Drusilla's arms. "Let them go or I'll rip her throat out."

"Let them go." Spike ordered as they all fled.

Buffy watched them go and swallowed the pain as she screamed in agony. "You too Ford, I see you around vampires again you won't have six seconds let alone six months. Don't let anyone else in here."

Ford got to the top of the steps in a smile. "I'll see you in hell Summers." He slammed the door shut and broke the knob off. He won't live forever anymore but he'll have six months longer then she will.

Buffy threw Dru at the other vampires as she closed her eyes and opened them as she ripped off of the remainder of her clothes as she grew and fur covered her body.

A gasping Spike looked at the seven foot monster that was formerly the slayer and now a werewolf on steroids he coughed up some of his own blood and that slayer is now the ultimate slayer, her blood is apparently poisonous to vampires and once a month she changes into that. It was last coherent thought as his head is ripped from his body in a set of jaws as the Buffy wolf drops down on all the other vampires.

* * *

A big wolf hands tear into the door of the sunshine club making a new door as the new wolf descends to the club. The new wolf watches another wolf mauling at a woman in a Victorian dress with no legs.

"Make it stop Miss Edith, it hurts." Drusilla pleaded as the Buffy wolf ripped her head off finishing the last vampire.

The Buffy wolf growled at the new wolf as the two wolves pounced at each other.

* * *

The next morning Buffy woke up holding her head and feeling sore, well good sore, but still sore. She woke up naked as the day she was born and maybe just as bloody with tiny arms around her waist giving the sign someone was holding her. The two woke up and Buffy rolled away looking for something to cover herself with and finding it in Spike's duster among a pile of ash. She killed Spike looking around she realized she killed everyone except the midget covering himself with a chair.

"Buffy"

Buffy looked at him she knows him. He gave Willow those awkward eyes and then got uncomfortable seeing her with Xander. "I know you, you're that guy in that band that plays guitar."

"I prefer Oz." Oz looked over the woman dear god she's beautiful. "So you're a…"

"Werewolf groupie, nothing else does it for me." Buffy quipped looking at claw marks running down her legs. "So, I'm guessing you got drafted as George since I went as Nina."

"Good guess" Oz replied. "So he infected Nina when he killed Herrick, poor George."

Buffy nodded and looked at him seeing a fairly bigger problem. "We both seem to be suffering a major case of nudity here."

Oz nodded in agreement. "But we're not wolves any more, so bright side."

Buffy answered. "Till next month anyway. Think you can drive me home, Mom's out of town and Xander leaves clothes there that should fit."

"Yeah my van's not too far from here." Oz replied watching the girl go up the steps. "Buffy, did we?"

"I don't want to know." Buffy replied, though all things considered they likely did screw each others brains out. She can't call it sex as it was two wolves at the full moon.

"You want to go out? We play in LA, I'm in a band we can go? We suck as a band but we try."

Buffy looked at him he's cute the way he said that. He's a werewolf so the slayer part won't be a problem. And she doesn't know if it's because he was George for Halloween or not but he smells really good to her. "How about get dressed in the morning coffee in the afternoon."

"Works" Oz replied following the girl out the door.

* * *

Author's Notes

Being Human is owned by Toby Whithouse. If you're wondering why their names weren't Aiden, Sally, and Nora I liked the UK one better before season 4 anyway.

A poll is up for the last day please vote in my profile for it.


	16. Chapter 15: Double Vision

Buffy ran into her house after the ghost of Willow her own body in her arms on this very weird night. "OK, so what do I do with her?"

Willow held her head, technically she doesn't have a head but she's pretty sure it would feel like this right now with a migraine. "Just lay her out on the couch."

Buffy heard a scream outside and followed soldier Xander outside She grabbed the demon from behind and Xander just hit it with the back of his weapon in a melee attack saving Cordelia.

Xander rushed the two girls back in as Buffy leaned against the wall.

Cordelia looked at Buffy and then the 17th century girl on the couch. "Wait a minute… what's going on here?"

Willow shrugged. "There's two of her now. We're not sure how other Buffy and Xander have amnesia, and I'm a ghost."

Cordelia just weakly nodded this is way too much even for her weirdness meter. "OK"

"Just watch them." Willow pleaded.

Lady Elizabeth sat at the couch her eyes widen seeing Willow walk through the wall. "What sorcery is this?"

"It's called Amnesia and it's why you don't remember anything." Cordy answered as she turned to Buffy. "You couldn't have dressed up as Xena?"

Buffy shrugged innocently. "How was I supposed to know my costume would become me? And if I knew I wouldn't have wasted time with Xena and went right for Wonder Woman."

Cordy shrugged seeing her point as Angel came in.

Buffy smiled and walked up to the vampire. "Angel"

"Oh good, you guys are alright, its total chaos out there." Angel answered as Buffy quickly approached him and kissed him as Cordy and the soldier looked away in disgust.

Lady Elizabeth just looked appalled at the two. Why is the handsome man kissing her? She is so much prettier and much classier then she is. "You are nothing but a brute my lady. You have no right to him."

Buffy turned to her double what the hell was she thinking wearing that? "Lady, you are two seconds away from getting you teeth knocked out, so keep it up."

Angel looked and to his surprise he saw another Buffy this one reminded of a time he'd rather forget… and that was when he was human...empty headed morons. "What… how… what?"

Buffy shrugged and answered best she could. "I dressed as that… thing. I think I got another body from being the slayer."

"I am not a thing." Elizabeth replied. "I am noble and according to the ghostly concubine I own this establishment we are all standing in so huh."

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that was sophisticated as hell." The lights went out and Elizabeth quickly attached herself to Cordy's arm. "Do you mind?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "What the hell was I thinking?"

Xander took over feeling it all around. "Blondie, cat lady you're with me." He pointed to Angel. "You take the princess and cover downstairs."

Elisabeth struggled against Angel's grip. "But I don't wanna go with you! I-I like the man with the musket!"

Angel takes her arm and heads for the kitchen. "C'mon."

"Do you have a musket?" Elizabeth asked being dragged into the kitchen.

Cordy looked to Buffy as they headed upstairs and started barricading the windows. Buffy won't ris fighting when you can't tell kid from demon. "You couldn't have picked something useful?"

Buffy shrugged. "Well I was going to pick a female knight from a show called Berserk but Xander stopped me saying I wouldn't want to wear it considering how the show ended."

"Guys down here now!"

Buffy ran down followed by Cordy and Xander. "What's going on?"

"She's gone the other you is gone. We were attacked by a vampire my fangs came out and she ran." Angel replied. "Buffy why did you ever dress like that?"

Buffy frowned; she just wanted one night as a normal girl. "I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age."

Angel smiled ironically and tried not to laugh. "Oh."

"What?" Buffy asked.

"I hated the girls back then." Angel explained. "Especially the noble women."

Buffy smiled hearing that she knew Cordelia wasn't his type. "You did."

Angel nodded walking out the door after Elizabeth. "They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone... exciting." He looks her in the eyes. "Interesting"

Buffy looked at Angel "We need to focus. I'm going to be pissed if I die at the same time as Ms. Priss."

Angel nodded as the four quickly tried to hunt down the weak Buffy before one of the other demons finds her first.

* * *

Buffy smiled seeing Spike wobble to the floor in the little safe house he's chased them into after a kick to his face. Confusion in his face clear from seeing two slayers instead of one but as Dru said one of the slayers is helpless. Demons grabbed the slayer Buffy from behind and hold her down by her arms next to Angel. The two could only watch helpless as Spike advanced on Elizabeth until Spike came up with a wig as the legitimate Buffy got to her feet.

"Hi honey, I'm home." The slayer quipped as she whaled on Spike and chased him off as all the demons became little kids again.

Angel looked at her. "Why didn't you stake him?"

Buffy shrugged innocently. "Elizabeth thought stakes were devil sticks used by witches and threw them away."

Angel saw who the second Buffy was and felt sick. Now he knows why Xander and Giles give him dirty looks.

Buffy looked for herself but didn't see her and then she looked down and found what she was looking for seeing her sister in one of her shirts and a blond wig.

Eleven year old Dawn Summers just looked at her awkwardly taking the wig off her head. The future Mrs. Harris figured if she dressed like the girl he loved Xander would finally notice her. "Ethan had a wig that looked like you, so I figured why not." She handed the wig to her sister.

Buffy was set to growl at her why would Dawn dress up like her? "Three words Dawn, you are grounded."

"Hey, my first real and French kiss was with a corpse, I've been through enough already and if you do try to get me in trouble I've got two words for you… swimsuit competition."

Buffy stood open mouthed as she turned a bright shade of red. Dawn has her entire life in her head. Oh this is so bad.

* * *

Author's Notes

Buffy is owned by Joss Whedon


	17. Chapter 16: Brothers in Arms

Xander looked at the suit in awe. It was for lack of a better word, perfect. Enhanced strength, and cloaking technology. Big samurai sword and an arm cannon. And most important of all in the real word, complete body and mask after Buffy castrated him today. Xander quickly grabbed the costume and paid for it not realizing the danger it had. Or how much it would change... everything.

* * *

Willow looked around as a ghost seeing the horrors of Halloween unfold. She ran up and saw a ninja. The exoskeleton is a blue representation of a male muscular appearance with red shoulder pads, gauntlets, elbows, knees, and ankles with a white head. It also had a red light in the central portion of the facemask. "Please tell me you're not actually Gray Fox."

"Sorry to disappoint… Willow Rosenberg" Fox answered taken back looking at the other person. What the hell?

Willow nodded. "You know me?"

"Number 3 on the most wanted list. You should watch your hacking." Fox informed her lying through his teeth.

"I'll keep that in mind." Willow said in shock.

Gray Fox is looking at Willow. Most people love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, he hates the fucking show because Dr. Clark watched it while experimenting on him. Damn movie buff, but maybe after he breaks Janus' statue his memories will do whoever this poor bastard is some good. "Alright let's go save Xander, Buffy, and Cordelia."

Willow nodded and calmly walked with him wondering just how a fictional character in Metal Gear Solid knows so much about their lives. "Yeah, about Xander"

* * *

Xander looked down at the broken statue and at Buffy Cordelia and Willow. He doesn't know why but it feels like there's something he should tell Angel but it's slipped his mind since the vampire isn't here. Oh well probably wasn't important anyway. He has six years of bad things to focus on undoing screw angel for now it couldn't have been that important anyway.

* * *

**Two Years Later**

Xander stood in a hotel parking lot in his usual long duster since katanas are hard to hide. What the hell is he doing in a hotel in Ohio unless that stupid demon took him into an... oh crap! He's in another world damn that demon, please don't be the Wishverse. Xander walked up to the rooms and sees nothing that will be a dead give away. He sees one room that catches his interest seeing a cross nailed to the door. Xander smiled and took tools from his pocket and easily picked the lock letting him in.

Xander hears a noise from the bedroom and goes to investigate it. He hears the noise coming from the bed and lifts it up revealing a familiar friend naked spooning a pillow. Xander quickly covers the girl Buffy is going to kill him if she ever finds out about this. "So that's what she looks like naked."

Xander felt a nudge on the back of his head and Frank Jaeger aka Gray Fox knows the cold steel of a gun when he feels it. He also looks into the reflection and sees... himself?

"You're good." This world's Xander replied holding an M4 carbine rifle to his doppelganger's head.

The Halloween Xander looked at him he must have been teleported to him. "You're incredible. So you want to take this outside, no need to wake the girl."

* * *

The two Xander's exited the hotel room leaving the girl to sleep. Once outside the hotel room Halloween Xander acted fast and grabbed the Carbine and quickly sucker punched his double however the other Xander let go of the gun before he could flip him over with it and raised a handgun that was likely a glock with a supressor and a knife at him.

"Don't do that again." This world's Xander warned.

The other Xander smiled and reached into his duster pulling out a steel edged katana.

This world's Xander fired three rounds only for the Halloween Xander to deflect each bullet into the motel wall.

The Halloween Xander kicked the gun out of his double's hand and swung his sword only for this world's Xander to dodge the attack and elbow his wrist and force his doppelganger to drop his sword.

Each Xander quickly took out a knife and stared at each other for a moment as an unspoken agreement was made as each Xander dropped his knife and took a familiar fight stance.

Halloween Xander threw a punch only for the other Xander to catch his arm and slam him to the floor causing Halloween Xander to quickly pull himself back up. This world's Xander tried to kick him in the ribs only for the Halloween Xander to dodge it by stepping aside and slam him to the floor. This world's Xander quickly picked himself up and avoided another fist with one of his own hearing the knuckles collide. As both tried a round house only to kick their legs from having the same idea. The two battled for another five minutes landing some blows on each other but mostly matching punches, kicks, elbows completely blocking their attacks and ensuring mutually assured destruction. For the finale the two matched headbutts as they each fell to the floor.

* * *

Halloween Xander sat on the floor catching his breath. No weapons no bullets no ability to move yet so the two just decided to share life stories it's pretty similar except for a couple big things like girlfriends. "So, how long until you realized I was Gray Fox for Halloween? When we used CQC?"

"Probably the same time you realized I was Solid Snake that Halloween." The other Xander answered.

"I figured it out later then that." Fox Xander confessed. "I thought you were Big Boss for Halloween until you started kicking high."

Snake Xander chuckled collecting himself nearby as he got up feeling movement in his limbs again. "Yeah, well you're lucky there wasn't a minefield nearby. So what are you doing here anyway?"

Fox Xander got to his feet. "A demon brought me here if I can find it and I can kill it I can go home."

Snake Xander pointed down a couple blocks seeing a demon stalking a girl. "Is that it?"

Fox Xander nodded looking at the yellow lizard skinned demon. This whole time he's been right here. Well at least he can kill the Acathla want to be and break it's magic. It tried to force Buffy from her world but he took the bullet and tackled him through the portal. "Yeah, that's him." Even if killing it doesn't break the magic, Snake Xander's witches should be able to send him home.

Snake Xander got to his feet and collected his guns and knife as Fox Xander collected his sword and knife.

Snake Xander collected himself and saw the demon calmly walk away now that both Xanders are good to go. "So, you know who I'm dating how about you?"

Fox Xander looked at him before responding. "Buffy, we started dating after Angel left."

Snake Xander looked at him confused. He told Angel something important as soon as the spell ended... according to Angel anyway, he can't remember it. "You killed him?"

"No, I just told him about the escape clause of his curse and then he was on his way to protect Buffy."

Snake Xander looked at him for a moment and realized how they probably got together. "Fox was so tortured and brooding Buffy probably couldn't help herself. So let's go kill this thing."

Fox Xander smacked his double aside the head for that comment. "Yeah well we're happy. It was nice to meet you, other me."

"Likewise" Snake Xander replied as the two did a handshake that Solid Snake and Gray Fox created that was passed down to Otacon as their hands moved in all directions ending with a handshake as a sign of respect for each other and the men they went as for Halloween. "Now let's go kill this thing."

The twin Xanders went in pursuit of the demon to get Fox Xander home. The demon started fleeing the Xanders but with Fox in the shadows and Snake on the ground it never stood a chance.

* * *

Author Notes

Metal Gear is owned by Hideo Kojima.

This wasn't my best.

If the story disappears tomorrow it just means I changed it's rating to M


	18. Chapter 17: Past and Present

"I can say without a doubt that there are an infinite number of universes. Some are just like our own… but for one or two significant events, exactly the same." Lex Luthor (Injustice: Gods Among Us)

* * *

Faith looked at the dress that was a pretty little princess number she kindly shakes her head no to the shop keep. "Not interested in being a classy woman despite what G says."

Ethan frowned he was hoping to get the slayer into this getup. "Well maybe a different color."

Faith shakes her arms in refusal ending this once and for all. "Look me in the dress not going to happen the only reason I'm even here is because a troll made me. So I'm just going to look around for something cheap and maybe a little sleazy! Got it!"

"Got it" Ethan replied.

Faith looked across the store and saw Xander looking through odds and ends and quickly looks to the floor. Vampires, demons, she has no problem. Teenage boy you want to be your boyfriend, problem. Faith frowned and looked through stuff her life was so much easier before Sunnydale. She'd find a guy use him then discard him. Then she came to Sunnydale. She quickly made friends with Xander and Willow but lost Jesse to vampires. Faith decided to do something to take Xander's mind off the pain and gave him the ride of his life. Big mistake! She tried to ditch him but he wouldn't stay gone all last year even going as far as attack her and get her pants off while he was possessed by the hyena spirit. Faith was used to people using and leaving her just as quick as she left them so what made him any different. At first she just figured he just wanted another taste. Then she found out she was going to die. G being the ever loving adopted parent tried to go in her place so she gave him a right hook for his trouble to protect him. She fought, she died, not even Angel whom she's pretty sure was just trying to get into her pants as well fought to change it. To her surprise after she drowned she saw Xander when she woke up and realized he went into the Master's tunnels after her. And after bending his arm some Xander revealed he had to drag Angel in under threat of cross. She swiftly kicked Angel out of town. He's a coward and she's a nympho not a necro and has since been trying to think of ways to just talk to Xander about this mess all summer. She thought she had it this morning when she saved him from Larry. Ends up she just made it worse. She's helping Red out by dressing her sexy and hiding the ghosts costumes, maybe she can work with Xander too.

* * *

Faith walked over to Xander and looked at him with a bag in his hand. "So… what you get?"

Xander held up a toy gun. "Army clothes back home and I'm a two dollar costume king."

Faith frowned. "You don't have the pants anymore… it was cold the night we screwed… and then I ran into a vampire."

Xander nodded weakly but got another idea as he smiled holding the gun. "Fine, I'll be a homicidal killer. They look just like everyone else and still a two dollar costume king, I'm not going to spend a lot of money for something Snyder forced us to go on. Bet I have the cheapest costume there."

Faith looked into the odds and ends box he got his gun from. "Nope, I can beat you." She takes something out from the twenty five cents box and holds it up. "Twenty five cents, the king is dead, long live the queen."

Xander looks at a pin button that says hello I am the president of the United States in her hand. "That is so not fair."

"And mom said I'd never make anything of my self." Faith quipped.

* * *

Snyder came in and saw Faith with her group of kids who seems to have merged with Xander's. "Giles I thought we agreed on a costume, one that's not that of a streetwalker."

Faith opened up her leather jacket showing her pin. "Principals of the country beware."

"Now I know why the world will end in 2012, here's your kids, not a word to them. The last thing they need is your influence." Snyder replied.

Faith rolled her eyes and spotted Xander getting a similar conversation until he shows Snyder a toy gun and the troll just leaves in disgust.

* * *

Faith looked around as demons took over Sunnydale on Halloween. Faith ran up to a demon and flipped over his shoulder grabbing him by the back of the neck and giving it a stone cold stunner. "What the fuck, Kinzie what the fuck did you do? My Super powers are gone. Kinzie"

Faith was surprised at her voice and felt her throat as she repeated. "What… the… fuck?" OK why does she sound like Shaundi before she kicked the dust?

Faith heard a very familiar sound as gunfire came out as she smiled heading towards the source seeing a brunette haired man shoot at a squad of these monster things and scare them away while wounding some.

Faith smiled seeing a familiar tattoo of home on his arm of Third Street he's a saint. "Good, you're with me."

The sociopath that used to be Xander Harris just followed her.

The woman that is now Faith added. "Well I'm the president of the United States it's no mystery who I am, so who are you?"

The sociopath didn't say a word and just kept following her.

The President rolled her eyes. "Hable ingles?" She frowns and takes out... a wooden stake? What is she fucking Nyteblade hunting down vampires. She holds it at the sociopath's throat. "English mother fucker do you speak it."

The sociopath just kept walking.

"Well this is going to be a fun fucking time." The president quipped. She started running into the streets until she found an unconscious cop and took his gun for herself. The two looked as a car drove up and the sociopath walked right in front of traffic as the car came to a stop and principal Snyder exited.

Snyder looked at him. "Harris what are you doing here. You're supposed to be watching the kids?"

The President watched as the sociopath kneed Snyder in the stomach and repeatedly slammed the man's head into his car so hard a couple teeth came out as he walked to the passenger side and opened the passenger door for her. "I think I'm in love."

* * *

The President looked at the sociopath as he drove. Thirty minutes and nothing. "Will you say something god damn it. Let me tell you something not speaking up for yourself just gets you burned up in a boat and turned into a Scarfaced bitch." The President looked at her wheelman still nothing. "God damn it. Pull over. If you're not talking I'm fucking driving. Understand?"

The sociopath blinked but kept driving infuriating the first woman president even further.

"Blinking, is not a fucking answer!" The president shouted in frustration with her mute wheel man who is this asshole?

* * *

The President drove the car disappointed you don't get gen x out here or any good stations for that matter. "Look just saying there ain't no crime in talking. The best friend I ever made was because I finally talked and made a crack about hepatitis."

The sociopath turned and looked at her but quickly focused on the road again.

The President stopped the car after ramming a woman in black hair and crushing her arms and legs with the back tires. Stupid Victorian dress, the president looked over and saw what really had her attention as a ninja fights a pirate. "Check it out man battle of the century. You don't see this kind of thing in Steelport or DC." The President sighs thinking of simpler times. "I miss Stillwater."

The sociopath once again raised his head and looked at her. But when he did the Pirate broke off from the ninja and attacked him wit a sucker punch. The ninja took the opportunity to disappear into the night and the sociopath watched as The President slid under the pirate punching him in the dick and then flipping him into the air so hard he does a 720 hitting the ground face first knocking his yellow rotten teeth out. The sociopath looked to the president with lustful eyes. Who is this girl? He thinks he's in love.

The President dusted herself off and turned around to see a man she never thought she'd see. "Holy shit, it's Billy Idol."

Spike glared at the slayer. Dru said she'd be different and maybe vulnerable. The slayer hit her with a car and destroyed her arms and legs for her trouble. Spike stared at her in game face first the slayer then take Dru home. "I'm going to rip you apart slayer."

The President looked at him for a moment with those yellow eyes. "Listen, Billy" She waves her arm for show. "I don't care how fucked up your face is. You touch us we'll kill you."

Spike grabbed her by the throat. "I'd really like to see that pet." The President just shot him in the nuts as Spike whimpered in pain causing The President to finish it with one well placed shot to the head.

Spike got up holding his head. "Alright, that hurt."

The sociopath looked at him and shot him a dozen times in the chest with his rifle as Spike hobbled to the floor but got back up.

The President looked at him and proceeded to empty her glock 17 into the vampire's chest as he once again fell to the ground. The President looked at the sociopath and saw he was looking right behind her. The President turned around and saw Spike getting to his knees as she took the sociopath's rifle from him. She shoved her shoe into Spike's chest slamming him into the wall and keeping him pinned there by her foot. "For fuck's sake, die already" She empties the rifle into Spike's head as blood, bones, and brains splatters on her clothes as bit by bit it is blown away as his face crumbles away eventually turning his body to dust.

The sociopath looked at her then at the damage she did in awe who is this girl. "Hey lady president you wanna fuck?"

The President looked at him mouth open. Holy shit he can talk. She quickly reeled herself in. "I'm on top and you keep talking." She punches the sociopath and pounces him to the floor before straddling him.

* * *

Xander woke up with Faith wrapped in his arms again that certainly wasn't what he was expecting last night. When she wakes up he'll be in his underwear again. He decides to rest his head against the wall and let fate take over from here.

Faith opens her eyes and yes she screwed Xander again. "Sup"

"Hi" Xander offered weakly.

Faith looked at herself and him she learned a lot of memories from the President last night. "So this wasn't exactly how I planned how to get you back into my bed."

Xander looked around at the cold concrete. "Technically we didn't even make it to your house. So you wanted to go out again. I thought I just wanted another taste."

Faith frowned she knew she was going to eat those words one day. "Well I have a new rule now, if a guy brings me back from the dead, maybe he deserves a second chance."

Xander and Faith got up and gathered their clothes getting dressed back into their costumes. Larry holds his head and got to his feet. He smiled remembering he got the jump on Harris again. "Hey Harris had to have your body guard fight your battle again."

Xander put a hand under Faith stopping her charge. "Yep, seems like it. but if you want I can kick your ass right here."

Larry smiles as Xander cracks his knuckles and Faith just leans against the wall as Xander lands two quick punches and is only the beginning as Larry shouts in pain from a vicious beating.

* * *

Authors Notes

Saint's Row is owned by Volition

I wrote this before I played 4.

Costumes.

Faith: Playa (SR4)

Xander: Playa (SR1)


	19. Chapter 18: Holiday of Future Past

Xander looked around Ethan's, toy rifle this should be easy. He sees it but also sees a little kid take it… damn it. Xander smiled seeing the toy of a Winchester shotgun in his hands well this is an idea. He has sunglasses leather jacket and black shirt and jeans. This is definitely what he's going as for Halloween.

* * *

Willow quietly gulped seeing the last ghost costume taken. Now what the hell is she going to do? She sees a can of white hair dye and that will work.

Buffy looks at her friends 'costumes' holding her dress. "What are you two supposed to be?"

Xander looked at her. "You don't recognize the gun for shame Buff."

"Old lady Willow" Willow replied.

* * *

Buffy looked at her two friends at school where they all met up apparently Xander is just going as a biker without a bike in a leather jacket and sunglasses. Willow has a blue shirt on and pure black jeans with gray hair. She apparently chose to join Xander in the two dollar costume department since she can't be invisible.

* * *

Willow fell to her knees as the spell took hold over Sunnydale as Willow is rushed with godly power. Willow looked around while getting to her feet. When there's no more room in hell. Willow will walk the… hellmouth. Well here's a sight for sore eyes. It's been years since this place crumbled in on itself. Willow walked the street and saw Xander slowly approaching Buffy. She smiled in relief until she heard all the neighborhood dogs and dog like demons hissing, barking, and growling at Xander. Oh no, not again!

* * *

Xander walked the streets of Sunnydale unsure how he got here. Xander looked to the woman in the red dress with the goofy hair and what Xander turned into ran a facial recognition scan of her, the results.

Name: Buffy Anne Conner

Status: High Priority Termination

ENGAGE

Xander loaded up his shotgun and aimed for Buffy's head as the noble backed up in fear of the mini musket.

Lady Buffy looked at the gun nervously. "Please sir, my daddy will pay you handsomely."

"Buffy get down!"

Buffy did as ordered as a blue energy ball hit Xander in the chest launching him into the air and landing on the grass outside of the house next to him. Willow looked at the ground and hoped they had them as the sprinkler system went off from her magic getting Xander nice and wet. Willow looked up at the old power line as it snapped off and fell onto the ground electrocuting him.

Willow turned to Buffy. "OK, we got five minutes before he reboots we gotta get to the library now."

Willow grabbed Buffy by her arm as a car drove up to them. She doesn't want to risk teleporting in what could be her seventeen year old body.

* * *

Giles sat in the library cataloging when to his surprise the door was forced open by Willow as she led Buffy into the library and sat her down at the table.

Giles looked at the former redhead in confusion she looks about 10 years older. "Willow, what's going on?"

"In short… a lot. Right now we need to protect Buffy… from Xander." Willow replied.

Giles lowered his glasses he can't have heard that right. "The hyena has returned?"

"I don't remember what the Hyena is." Willow replied. "Look all you need to know is Halloween turned Xander into a T-888 right now we have to keep him away from Buffy and maybe New Mexico since that's where Sarah and John are."

Giles looked at her. "That still doesn't explain why Xander would want to kill her."

Willow rolled her eyes and started to explain. "Because on December 21 2012 we find out Terminator is based on actual events when Judgment Day actually happens. Xander, Kennedy, Rona, you, Faith and a whole lot of others die. On May 2 2013 the slayer army joins the resistance led under Buffy Summers and John Conner. And on March 10 2014 Buffy Summers marries John Conner and becomes Buffy Anne Conner. Skynet is finally terminated on June 6, 2030. In one last move Skynet releases a T-888 designed to resemble Xander that successfully terminates Buffy Conner on June 15 2030.

Giles looked at her. "How do you know all that and forget the Hyena incident?"

Willow smiled genuinely missing him. "Giles how old do you think I am?"

"28-40" Giles responded.

Willow smiled at the compliment in her now damaged mind. "I'll be 582 in a week. I'm assuming no one died in the hyena incident which is why I don't remember it."

Willow listened to something punch through and she saw Giles holding glasses with a broken frame.

Giles looked at her calmly. "I must say you look quite good for your age."

"I died in 2034 of a heart attack. Too much stress on the body from magic." Willow answered looking at her white roots. "And sadly they really hold it against you when you try to burn six billion people to death because you refuse to grieve."

Giles looked at her. "You went to hell?"

"Had it coming." Willow assured him. "Hopefully younger me will have some restraint knowing the consequences."

Giles looked at her. "Do you have any knowledge of what causes this thing that's happening now?"

Willow thought about it. "Yes, I do. Me and Ethan talk about it like old times while sharing chaos tips. We have to find Ethan and break this spell."

Giles sighed in relief until they heard Principal Snyder outside talking to someone.

* * *

"Harris, what are you doing with that?"

BANG!

Willow shrugged innocently the mayor ate him whole so a shotgun blast was more merciful then melting in stomach acid and being blown apart. Willow puts Buffy and Giles in the office and locks the door.

Xander walked into the library in a disturbing calm with blood on his hands. He turns to Willow and looks at her. "Ms. Rosenberg, where is Buffy Conner?"

Willow looked at his hands. There's blood on them, he got someone. "Who did you kill already?"

"Pratt, William Lieutenant first class of the Nighthawks" Xander answered coldly as Willow wiped a tear hearing of Spike's demise.

Willow looked at him and waved her hand. "Vincere"

A white energy circle wrapped around Xander and lifted him off his feet as the binding spell took hold.

"OK we have two hours let's find Ethan and get the hell out of here." Willow replied hoping this younger her will not make her mistakes and free her from the fires of hell by granting her sweet oblivion.

* * *

One week later Xander sat on top of the tower waiting for his moment today will be two birds with one stone. He looks down and opens a metal case revealing a PSG1 sniper rifle the T-888 requisitioned from the army. Xander had the gun resting easy on his shoulders looking down and seeing a science fair award ceremony.

Xander looked down and has the memories of Halloween in his head. Detailed files on human anatomy, detailed files on the weapons he stole from the military, and once the T-888 knew he was in 1997 a potential ally list for terminating Buffy Anne Conner nee Summers listing all the horrible things they've done. And one by one he's going to cross every name off that list.

Xander looked into the scope and saw Mayor Wilkins on stage with his other target. Xander aimed at the mayor's head and took his shot the splatter of blood and brain residue tells him he wasn't quite invulnerable yet. Xander aims his gun at the real target seeing Warren Mears' head in the crosshairs. His little sexbots were the catalyst for the Terminator robots after he handed the designs over to Uncle Sam for immunity during the Twilight fiasco. He knows Willow is working in secret just as much as he is. They'll make new lives for themselves this time around. There's no fate but what they make for themselves. Xander inhaled and takes the shot.

* * *

Author's Notes

Terminator is owned by… I honestly don't know anymore… but I know it's not me.

April and the Buffybot took on Slayers and demons so they were obviously tough despite what they were built for. If Warren wasn't such a mini Caleb there'd be no need for soldiers for a while.


	20. Chapter 19: Not Batman and Robin

Angel and Cordelia entered a warehouse with Lady Buffy, and Willow and do everything they can to barricade the door. According to Willow Spike is right on their tail.

Cordy's eyes shot up hearing rapid banging on the door as she trembled a bit in fear. "Oh god they're here. We're going to die."

The four waited nervously nothing could have prepared them for what came next as the banging on the door continued.

"Let me in, for the love of all that is sodding holy let me in!" Spike pleaded followed by the noises of every other demon as they're all silenced by the sound of a spear entering the door covered in yellow blood as Spike kicks in the door and hops in trying to make as much distance between him and his two attackers as possible.

Cordy looked up and saw someone who was for all extensive purposes Batman followed by a little girl with purple hair wielding a spear. "What the hell? Baby slayer?"

"She's out of her mind and not in the good Dru way." Spike warned feeling fear for the first time ever from a human.

The purple hair girl stared at Spike with a long wooden shank replacing her spear now stuck in the wall and Batman with a gun and stake in hand. The purple hair girl pointed at Spike and cheerfully replied. "Game on you undead cunts."

* * *

After the spell wore off Buffy was keeping pressure on wounds keeping people alive. Apparently the cover story is a hallucinogenic burned up in the sky and got the entire neighborhood high. Right now her main concern was keeping people alive that were demons ten minutes ago so that some people she knows doesn't go to jail. She stepped through the dust pile that was Spike and looked at the psychotic duo that saved the day that has now reverted to one of her best friends Xander Harris and her eleven year old sister Dawn. "So do you two have anything to say for yourselves? You just couldn't be Batman and Robin could you."

Xander rolled his eyes and looked at her. "Hey Dawnster wanted to match me and I wanted to go as Batman but she didn't want to go as Robin."

"Boy wonder is a sexist term and after everything I did tonight, Robin wishes he was me." Dawn replied with a smirk.

Buffy rolled her eyes at her now seemingly sociopathic sister. "So what the f…hell did you two dress up as?"

Dawn looked at her sister and just replied. "Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. Swearing not really a big deal to me anymore."

Buffy pointed at her almost glowing red. Her little sister should not know these words damn it. "Dawn!"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "It's not like I'm going to say them in front of mom… maybe Giles."

Angel stood in shock and Cordy just leaned on the wall enjoying the insanity.

Xander looked at Buffy. "We dressed up as Big Daddy and Hitgirl. If I knew there was a chance I'd be turned into the pathetic loser that turned his daughter into a killing machine believe me I'd have paid a little extra to go as the Nic Cage version."

Dawn looked to Xander and frowned she really doesn't see him like that anymore thanks to his costume. "If it means anything I don't want Xander to nail me like a two by four anymore."

Buffy turned bright red at that and well that actually was something because now her and Willow might get along. "Next year I choose your costume and you will never wear Hitgirl again.

"We'll see." Dawn quipped.

* * *

**Three years later**

Dawn sat there chained up. She's a green ball of energy. Never fucking saw that one coming. She leaned against the wall and is waiting for Ben since Glory kidnapped her. Please don't die Giles. They want her to wear this stupid ceremonial gown and she agreed to after Ben gives her a glass of water.

Ben came in glass in hand and gave it to Dawn. "I'm sorry about this."

"Fuck off" Dawn replied taking the water. "Thanks for this though I'm anal, Not that I like anal its just, cleaning, I know it's anal but I can't stand plastic it weirds me out."

"It's alright." Ben assured her guilt clear on his face.

"Because it's pretty much a last request since you're killing me to serve the great cunt of Olympus." Dawn finished looking at his face she almost feels guilty for this... almost.

Ben looked at her. "Do you hate me?"

Dawn finished her water and replied. "No." She breaks the glass and in one quick strike slices through Ben's throat as he whimpers for breath unable to speak or scream as the blood flows and he falls to the floor gasping for breath before he died. "Just pitied you… almost."

Dawn took the key from his pocket and unchained herself. She grabbed a knife that would likely be used to cut her, this should be fun.

* * *

Xander waited patiently for an update on Giles with Angel. He's taken out of it hearing a familiar voice.

"Listen you three hundred pound sack of shit. I'm fine, I just want to know if Rupert Giles is OK go to your god damn computer and just tell me what fucking room he's in before I break my foot off in your snatch."

Xander and Angel walk over and see the fifteen year old covered in blood from head to toe arguing with the nurse. Angel smirked he can smell it all and none of it is hers. Xander looked in shock. "Dawnie, what happened."

Dawn looked herself she's not saying slaughtering leper demons. "I got locked in all night at a slaughter house are you OK?"

Angel had a happy smile. "We're all fine, I think seeing you will help Buffy right now and Xander can stay with Giles, he's going to be fine."

Xander looked at her. "Is Glory…"

Dawn smiled and nodded. "Yes Xander, that cow didn't make it out alive, none of them did. Hot chocolate later"

Xander smiled and nodded in agreement as Dawn walked out with Angel. Xander had a quiet little smile wait till Buffy finds out what Hitgirl memories did today.

* * *

Author's Notes

Thanks for the reviews

Kick Ass is owned by Frank Miller

BTVS the one world where a kickass character might be well adjusted.


	21. Chapter 20: Other People's Lives

Xander rolled his eyes objecting this is Halloween damn it. He should be able to dress up in the costume he wants and go trick or treating as a soldier this way it will only cost him two dollars. Instead Snyder bane of fun has decided to turn Halloween into career day as he enters the door with an order form and a smile comes to his face seeing Cordelia.

Cordelia looks at Xander, Buffy, and Willow. She got forced into helping by Snyder so she can't even go to Partytown for an outfit to wear. "So what did you guys get?"

Xander held up his. "Lawyer and dad thinks I'll never make anything of myself."

Buffy smiled holding up hers. "Chef"

Willow smiled and held up hers. "Social Worker, so what you get?"

Cordelia looked at it and held up her card. "Advice columnist"

"And somewhere out there someone looking for advice is crying." Xander quipped as they went up to Ethan and gave him the receipt. Ethan smiled seeing these people show up as he gave them normal clothes. While he's a fan of chaos he also believes good people are needed to fight as chaos uninterrupted is boring. So he's glad the slayer and her people are going to be normal tonight unlike the kids.

* * *

Willow held her head as the spell took effect the first one to change over and sees a mini demon of all things choking a woman as she goes to break it up. "Hey, let go."

All the demons turn to the soul now living in Willow as she looks around ten demons nothing to defend herself with. "Uh uh" The demons rush her but Willow's body disappears in a trial of blue lights.

* * *

Buffy looked around and quickly realized the madness and all these mini demons are real. Buffy sighed in frustration and put her hands up as everything froze around her. "Leo!"

Buffy waited as a trail of blue lights came down next to her and she just smiled seeing a brown haired man show up in plaid.

Leo Wyatt emerged from the trail of orbs and walked right into a deep passionate kiss from a blond teenager. Leo tried to break free but the girl has one hell of a grip. He orbs out of the kiss and a little bit behind her. "Lady are you out of your mind!"

Buffy looked at him hurt for a moment until rage took over and she quickly put her hands up and Leo exploded into a trail of orbs and reformed in shock as Buffy shouted. "You do not call me lady; I am your wife Leo Wyatt!"

Leo looked at her as it sunk in. Only one person can get that angry at him. "Piper?"

"Damn right Piper who else has the power to blow you up?" Piper Halliwell asked.

Leo took a moment to calm down seeing his wife's glare on this teenage girl. "Piper, look in a mirror."

Piper looked in the mirror and saw the blond hair along with an outfit she got rid of about a month ago to good will. "Oh no, this can't be good." Piper looked to Leo confused. "Thanks for coming even when I'm not in my own body."

"Always" Leo assured her as she kissed him.

A second trail of orbs came down revealing Willow who just watched as Leo sucked face with a girl likely no older then sixteen. Willow looked to the ground angrily and just said. "Rock!"

A rock on the ground disappeared in a trail of orbs and smacked Leo in the head as the whitelighter fell to the floor taking Piper with him.

"I guess we found Paige." Piper quipped getting to her feet.

Leo held his head pulling himself to his feet wobbly. "Paige! I'd appreciate it if you don't use your powers on me. I might be dead, but it still hurts!"

Paige looked at him. "Then you shouldn't have sucked face with a teenager! What are you, some kind of creepy angelic sex offender?"

Piper rolled her eyes. "Paige, I'm thankful you're defending my honor. But it's me inside here."

Paige looked at Buffy curiously. "Piper!" Paige started cracking up laughing looking at her big sister as a petite blond.

Piper glared at her before grabbing her sister and taking her to a car so she could see her reflection.

Paige frowned seeing she's also in the body of a sixteen year old. "Well, at least I'm still a redhead."

Piper however saw the problem. "So if we're here in sixteen year old bodies, then that means Phoebe must be in one too. We have to find her maybe with the power of three we can end this demon's night."

* * *

Phoebe Halliwell looked around and just like the premonition she had before she and her sisters passed out in the attic. Phoebe saw a dog faced demon rush her and the middle sister quickly jumped in the air with levitation quickly climbing a tree and hung on to the top branch as the dog demon jumped and kept trying to attack her as Phoebe sees a demon shimmer in that looks like a teenage boy and wave his hand which knocked the demon into the tree unconscious as Phoebe floated down.

Phoebe looked at him. "I don't know who you are but thanks for the assist."

Xander looked at her. "I know you're trying to vanquish me every other week but can't you at least acknowledge my name, I mean we were married once not that long ago."

Phoebe turned to him and touched his hand getting a premonition of who he is, even with something like this. Night of the demons, not even in their own bodies, and she can't avoid her ex. "Cole... I don't even want to know why you look like that but we were married. Keyword… were. Just because you found a way around death doesn't mean anything, death did us part… the end."

Cole kept walking with her. "Why are you so mad at me for finding a way back?"

"Because I told you to move on." Phoebe replied. "You didn't you hopped yourself up to stay evil."

Cole looked at her. "I was going to the bad place, and it wasn't by choice. I became Balthazar because my mother kidnapped me when I was a child. Right after she brutally murdered my father. What chance did a half human child have in the Underworld? I had to shake my innocence twice as fast as any demon child and be twice as cruel just to survive."

Phoebe stopped and just collected herself. She can't, not again. "I am sorry you had a tough life, I am, but it is not my concern anymore."

Cole rolled his eyes seeing three sets of orbs why is he not surprised. Just looking into Willow and Buffy's eyes he knows who they are. "Paige, Piper… OK why does Leo get to keep his body?"

Paige rolled her eyes recognizing the smug attitude. "Nice to see you too Cole"

Leo tried to sense the magic that caused this change in the sisters but just came up with a chalk like taste. "Something weird is going on here it's like we're in the underworld."

Cole nodded. "Close enough we're on the hell mouth."

Piper looked at him. "What's a hellmouth?"

"A mouth over a portal to hell it's close to the school library." Cole replied. "I actually stayed here when Phoebe first faked my death but the bounty hunters started showing up."

Paige rolled her eyes great another night with the book of shadows lucky her. "Is that why there are so many demons tonight?"

Cole shakes his head. "No, I think this is the chaos spell I can sense it."

Piper looked at him curiously. "So you sense things here, like what?"

Cole pointed at the oldest. "You're in a body that's not exactly human." He points to Paige. "Paige is in a body so powerful that she might very well be able to orb the whole city if she wanted to, and I'm pretty sure my body was turned into a Hyena at some point. Chaos trail leads this way shall we."

* * *

Ethan smiled hearing the doorbell open he was wondering how long it would take for Rupert to show up. Ethan came out and went into horror, normal people my ass these are the charmed ones and the Source.

"So how do we break the spell?" Leo asked.

Piper looked around and sees it. "Considering that statue of Janus bust on the altar I'd say we just break that. Paige would you do the honors?"

"I'd love to." Paige replied. "Statue" The statue of Janus disappeared in a trail of orbs and broke over Ethan's head behind him.

The four scoobies stood as they regained their own lives.

Buffy looked to a shelf of supplies and stuck her hands out as the shelves blew up. "Hey I still have my powers. This is going to make patrolling so much easier."

Willow though on it and got an idea as she disappeared in a trail of orbs. Two minutes later she came back laughing. "Oh you should have seen Giles' face when he fell out of the chair, it was hilarious."

Cordy jumped in the air and levitated. "Cool, but won't demons try to kill us now for our powers?"

"And that's different from every other week how?" Buffy asked and Cordy shrugged seeing her point.

Buffy turned to Xander. "How about you did you keep your powers?"

Xander walked outside accompanied by the others and waved his arm and summoned a black Dodge charger R/T. Xander quietly smiled seeing his new car. "I kept my powers."

Buffy watches a demon shimmer in and instantly blew it up. "Well that didn't take long."

The ash reforms into a man with brown hair and green eyes and Buffy stopped recognizing the demon.

The actual Cole Turner dusted himself off and looked at Buffy. "What was that for?"

"You shimmered in." Buffy replied. "Cole, what are you doing here?"

Cole looked at them and just decided honesty was best considering they all work with a vampire if Buffy's scent is anything to go by. "Me and the sisters had a vanquish with Barbas last week, made it crystal clear that the only future I'd have in San Francisco would be death. So I was wondering if you guys could use my help.

Buffy nodded before thinking it over. She knows Cole is alone in San Francisco since the Charmed Ones turned their back on him. She'll gladly take his help it will be like a really powerful Angel. Besides someone has to show Xander how to use all those powers without losing his mind. "Welcome to the team."

Cole smiled thankful for a chance to do some good and thanks to those hellmouth repressionon spells there won't be any press so the sisters can't think he's in it for himself. "I'll try not to let you down."

* * *

**One Month Later**

Phoebe was hard at work at the Bay Mirror after finding out from Piper that she and Paige died two nights ago and are only alive today because Piper went back in time to set things straight. She realized she did all that for a guy she barely knows and to top it off she actually kind of misses... no not that line of thought.

"What cha doin?"

Phoebe's eyes shot up in horror recognizing that voice. She turned around and saw Cordelia Chase. "What are you doing here?"

"Dad had business here. Told Elise I was your cousin." Cordy replied.

Phoebe nodded and asked. "So how are you guys doing?"

Cordy shrugged and took a seat. "Not much to complain about. Our lives have gotten a lot easier. Cole is staying in Sunnydale he's helping us with demons."

Phoebe smiled it's obvious he's not doing it to impress her anymore. "Good for him so how's it going down there?"

"Good, really good actually Cole is teaching Xander how to control his powers as well as took him away from his parents without vanquishing them, so that's progress. Buffy is mastering Piper's powers and Willow is already mastering Paige's including the ability to heal on Angel no less after her got nearly tortured to death by his crazy vampire daughter." Cordy supplied.

Phoebe nodded getting the highlights from Leo. The Elders pulled some strings to have a back up power of three in case of another dark wedding. Phoebe looked at Cordy with a knowing smile considering how happy she made it that Xander got away from his apparently abusive parents. "So you and Xander huh?"

Cordelia blushed a bit. "Wha… I… did you get a premonition… because we never told anyone!"

Phoebe put a hand up. "Your secret is safe with me. Date, enjoy. He seemed like a sweetie."

Cordy put a hand up. "I wouldn't call it dating we're just kissing and groping in the broom closet. We're not exactly in the same social circle."

Phoebe looked at her and remembered this point in her life. Despite how much she wanted not to. "OK between me and you I was a completely different person in high school."

Cordy looked at her, she was her. "I remember Freebie." Cordy looked and saw an ice cold glare coming from the columnist. "I'll be good."

Phoebe smiled and rested back against her chair. "The point is high school gangs die out. Make good friends now and get that boy to treat you better. Either have him take you to a restaurant or conjure up a romantic dinner. Don't be afraid to make the first move that's how Piper and Leo started and how me and Cole started... well physically anyway."

Cordy smiled hearing Phoebe give her advice she's right her mom was a popular girl and now her best friends are her employees that just want their paycheck. "Guess I'm one of the many that should thank Phoebe."

"You're welcome." Phoebe replied.

Cordy looked at her. "And on the subject of our demonic boy toys" She pointed to her head, "You know I have your whole mind up here right? So I know you still love Cole."

Phoebe put her pen down and glared at her. "I don't anymore I just want to be free of him."

"Why?" Cordy asked.

Phoebe glared at her. "Oh, I don't know, how about he turned me evil!"

Cordy glared at her right back. "Oh no, no, you two destroyed each other and you know it."

"He let the Seer poison me." Phoebe pointed out.

Cordy looked at her not impressed. "He had the source of all friggin evil in his head and the Seer in his ear and he still managed to break free and try to free himself until a certain witch, we'll call her Freebie, incinerated the Wizard. You're trying to turn him into the bad guy when your hands were just as bloody sister."

"Get out!" Phoebe ordered.

Cordy got to her feet knowing when she's not wanted. "Fine, but keep in mind you can't lie to me. I know you Phoebe so clear out your head accept what you did, and figure out why you did. And my advice do it fast because Joyce has been giving some hungry eyes to Xander's 'uncle' Cole." She took Phoebe by the hand and gave her a premonition of the time she and Cole had together before the Seer destroyed their lives. "Just think about what you're about to lose."

Cordy left Phoebe to think she's doing a good thing but she's not Mother Theresa she's only going to be in San Fran until Sunday.

* * *

Phoebe got back to work for fifteen minutes before she got so frustrated she had to call Sunnydale. "Hey Willow right? Its Phoebe Halliwell is Cole there?" She doesn't know if they'll be together again but even if it's just to end it once and for all she does need to talk to him.

* * *

Author's notes

Charmed is owned by Spelling Television I think


	22. Chapter 21: This Came Back and Bit Me

Willow looked herself over she just had to say no to that rock and roll getup didn't she. She didn't think it could have gotten any worse but dear god was she wrong. She looked herself over in a leather top and leather bottoms complements of Ethan's. She's going to kill that shop keep for selling Buffy these but her hair does look nice in the ponytail look.

Buffy looked at her work with a smile. "I can't wait to see the boys go non verbal when they see you."

Buffy heard a knock on the door and grabbed Willow taking her down stairs before she could grab her Boo!

Buffy opened the door for Xander. "Priv… Will... Buffy… I-I-I."

Buffy smiled. "See that, we already broke Xander; now let's see what else we can do."

* * *

Willow looked around as the spell for Halloween took place. She opened her eyes and smiled as the spell took hold over her. She saw a demon and instantly flicked her wrist. Only to her horror there were no blades attached to her wrists… "Aw fu…"

The demon scratches at her arm and the thing that use to be Willow Rosenberg bounced back as a pair of fangs came out of her mouth. She jumped on the demon and took one nibble of a bite before deciding it was disgusting and spat it out. She grabbed onto the demons shoulders and flipped over it giving her the leverage to throw it with inhumane strength into an incoming car killing it.

Willow growled her fangs out as Buffy nervously touched her shoulder in a noble lady get up.

"My lady I mean you no trouble." Buffy insisted backing away fearfully.

Willow looked at her and retracted her fangs. She looks older then she is. "My name is Rayne, not lady."

Buffy simply nodded in agreement looking at her. "Will you be my protector?"

Rayne shrugged seeing this bimbo is essentially helpless. Damn human side. "Yeah I'll pro…"

Buffy watched helplessly as a sharp blade collided with Rayne sending the dampire smack into a tree as she slid down slowly looking very dead.

* * *

The noblewoman backed up seeing a six foot three hulk in baggy clothes and a hockey mask holding a machete doused in her protector's blood. Buffy fled as fast as her feet could take her Jason Voorhees right on her back. The noblewoman fell to the floor and gave Jason all the time he needed to catch up to the girl as his machete rose but a figured jumped on his back.

"You don't kill me and walk away." Rayne quipped as her fangs sunk into his neck.

Jason lowered his head and caught the dampire with an elbow knocking her off as Buffy fell back to the floor watching the two monsters fight. Rayne quickly kicked the demon in the stomach wobbling him before kicking him in it again and finishing with a roundhouse to the head that merely wobbled the giant.

"Bitch, go down!" Rayne shouted as she jumped into the air and spun her legs in rapid succession hitting the Crystal Lake killer six times as she speeds up time adding more power to each kick.

Rayne looked at him, he's completely unscathed most of her kicks usually send her opponents flying and remove limbs when she stomps on them. "What the fuck is this thing?"

Jason swung his Machete and Rayne moved at superspeed dodging each attack until she ran out of energy for it. Rayne stared in horror with her blades she would have taken this thing apart in moments.

Jason swung his machete and the blade struck Rayne's chest as blood spilled from it. Jason struck again this time hitting her stomach as the dampire coughed blood from her mouth. Jason swung the machete at her shoulder but Rayne caught the blade saving her arm, however Jason was far stronger of the two and pushed the blade close to her chest and slid it down cutting her down the chest as Rayne hobbles back and Jason swung at the back of her knee knocking Rayne down as the dampire turned around and tried to crawl away to let her body heal up.

Jason walked right behind her horizontally cutting her back repeatedly as chunks of flesh, blood, and leather flew off Rayne and Jason kicked Rayne turning her around so the dampire would look right at him.

Buffy nervously hugged a tree as if it would help her. "Lady warrior please get up."

Jason bent down and picked her up by her hair as Rayne shouted with glossed over eyes. She sees Jason put his machete back ready for a full swing and Rayne's eyes turn red and her fangs come out. When Jason's arm is in range she uses the last of her power to go into superspeed tilting her head closer to his arm and biting the slasher's wrist tearing and gnawing at the tendons in his arm as Jason drops the machete as his hand goes limp.

Rayne catches the Machete and hits Jason across the chest sending him back and freeing herself. "And then I realized I'm getting my ass kicked here!" The machete gains a red aura around it and doubles in size.

Rayne swings her machete and easily hacked Jason's right arm off when he tried to defend himself. "Softball season is looking pretty grim." She swung low and effortlessly chopped his legs off and what was left of Jason fell to the floor. Even with just one arm Jason crawled to her and Rayne calmly looked at the dismembered torso. "Don't worry hockey puck, they do wonders with prosthetics these days." Rayne swung one last time and took Jason's head off killing the monster once and for all unknowingly saving herself a lot of trouble taking Warren Mears with him.

* * *

Buffy ran into Rayne with a smile and held the dampire as she collapsed from the battle. "My lady you are incredible, your skill is unmatched."

Rayne could barely hear her over the mass thumping of her heart. She smiled as she grabbed the right side of Buffy's dress and slid it down exposing her bare shoulder.

Buffy immediately backed up and looked at Rayne in confusion. "My lady that is improper behavior?"

"Hey!" Rayne shouted getting her attention. "I just went twelve rounds with the goalie from hell, if I don't get some blood in me I'm going to go on a blood bender and I very much doubt you'll make it out alive."

Buffy looked at her nervously. She's heard stories like the vampire Kagan but seeing one. "You're a vampire?"

Rayne shrugged. "Not by choice and besides as the hockey puck shows I'm a good guy. But I need blood now or the hunger is just going to get worse."

Buffy looked at her nervously. "Will it kill me? Will it hurt?"

Rayne shakes her head even when she feeds off another vampire they don't realize what's happening until they're dry. "No, it won't kill you. As a matter of fact most people I feed off of enjoy it."

Buffy looked at her and hugged her quick. "Just be quick about it. My father will call the magistrate if he finds out a mongrel has violated my flesh."

Rayne rolled her eyes. Thank god she's not that old she'd kill herself if she was ever a seventeenth century girl. Rayne gently bit into Buffy's neck as something much more delicious then blood went into her mouth. Buffy moaned out enjoying being bitten as Rayne's back heals itself and all the little cuts and bruises heal up as Rayne stops with a trickle of Buffy's blood on her lips.

"Oh my god!" Rayne shouted holding her head what the hell did she eat? "You're like a living aphrodisiac you know that. I almost think I'm high."

"I don't know what that is but I'm certain I don't have it. I bath quite often." Buffy assured her not knowing what this high is.

Rayne rolled her eyes. "You're as dumb as a post!"

"I'm not meant to be smart. I'm just meant to look pretty and then someone will marry me possibly a baron."

Rayne backed off for a moment. She thinks she owes posts an apology but a new feeling overcomes what the hell is in this blood. She gently kissed Buffy on the lips.

Buffy backed up. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry." Rayne apologized seeing another way to spend the night. "It's just your beautiful and now that I'm not hungry your blood is kind of making me another H word that I'm pretty sure your daddy wouldn't want you to know." She kissed her gently across the neck licking the little stream of blood from where she bit her and making soft whispers in her ear.

"If my father finds out?" Buffy asked losing the battle. She's cute and that leather she was eying her all night. she can't get pregnant and her father will never know being too busy as usual.

"He won't." Rayne assured her taking her lips for her own and putting Buffy against the wall as she returns the kiss passionately and Rayne starts sliding off her dress.

* * *

Buffy the vampire slayer opened her eyes the next day and pried the wig off her head and looked down at her lack of clothing, holy fuck that actually happened last night! She gently pokes the sleeping red head as Willow opens her eyes and glances at Buffy.

Buffy looked at her best friend. "Willow, what the hell happened last night? First Jason, then you biting me."

Willow nodded. "Yeah… weird night."

Buffy looked at her. "That's one word for it considering your costume forced herself on me."

"No, my costume just seduced your costume. Which for the record it's your fault not only did you pick bad costumes you picked them from UWE Boll movies." Willow countered. "Unless it was someone else saying oh Rayne all night."

"Point taken. That noble girl was a complete slut. It would take her servents twelve hours to get her into it and the wink of a maiden to get her out of it again." Buffy conceded and saw Willow looking down. Oh my god is she… "Will… are you staring at my chest?"

Willow's eyes shot up meeting Buffy's face. "No, no, it's just you, and Jason and everything…" Her eyes drop down again. "…and I think I'm kinda gay."

Buffy's eyes widen but she gives a little supportive nod the best she could. Next year however she's just letting Willow be the damn ghost and this will never be spoken of again.

* * *

Author's Notes

Bloodrayne is owned by Terminal Studios please don't let Uwe Boll make another movie.

Friday the 13th is owned by New Line Cinema.


	23. Chapter 22: Geatest Failure Ever

Xander stood in the costume shop going through cheap things on the grounds of him having no money. Stupid Larry, stupid Buffy, and stupid need for a Halloween costume he can't afford. He sees a little toy rifle and smiles seeing a two dollar soldier. He reaches for the weapon and sees a little set of hands grabbing it at the same time. He looks over and sees a little redheaded girl with eyes like Willow. He lets go as the girl leaves with the gun he can never go against anyone who even looks like Will. He sees white hair dye in a can and old man Harris it is.

* * *

Buffy smiled coming down the steps in her noble woman get up. She heard the door and opened it and just stared at it dumbstruck.

Xander looked at her and spoke in a jokingly old voice. "Well young lady aren't you going to invite your elder in?"

"Not in this town." Buffy answered pulling him in and looked at him again. This can't be intentional. "Xander what are you again exactly?"

"Old man" Xander answered like it should have been obvious. "Doesn't the white hair give it away?"

Buffy held a hand over her mouth it must have changed color under the sunlight. "It's not white anymore."

"What?" Xander moved Buffy over as she laughed and he looked into the mirror and saw his old man getup now with bluish purple hair. "Oh my god! This… is… awesome!"

Buffy looked at him not the reaction she was expecting. "What, how?"

Xander smiled. "Because with this crazy hair I can make a much better costume with help from Giles, I'll meet you and Will at school."

Buffy shrugged and came back up the steps seeing Willow in her boo and just sighed.

* * *

Buffy and Willow waited with their kids and Buffy smiled in relief seeing Xander come out of the library in a black wife beater and black jeans One of her swords in a sheathe held by a belt wrapped around his torso. "You know what, I don't want to know."

Xander shrugged its better then an old man and he's not unarmed tonight. "It's not as identifiable without the jacket."

Willow looked at him. Stupid Xander in a wife beater though he does pull it off. "Muscle… I mean you look good… but I thought you liked his father better."

Xander looked at her confused. "Thanks, and I do it's just…" He pointed to his hair. "Unexpected opportunity from a backfire."

* * *

Willow looked down at her own body, stupid boo now she really is a ghost. OK this is weird. She hears Xander shout and that's all she needs to hear as she quickly runs to her best friend and into the unexpected sight of Xander punching a demon so hard he sends him sailing into a car and the bending to the demon's shape around the car from impact.

Willow looked at him his muscles have grown. Holy crap if she's actually a ghost… then he's much stronger then Buffy. No, that can't be it. "Xander… Xander… Trunks."

Trunks turns and looks at the redhead it's obvious he's in the past but he's never been here before. "Who are you, how do you know that name?"

"It's complicated and I'll explain right now I just need you to stay with me so we can send you where you want to go." Willow explained. "Right now we just need to find… Buffy." Willow ran to the slayer as a pair of demons growl approaching them. "Buffy what do we do?"

The slayer fainted and Trunks put his hand up. Trunks smiled as a gold energy collected on his hand.

Willow realized what was about to happened shouted. "No!" Trunks surprise caused the blast to hit a tree making the demons flee in terror.

"They're demons." Trunks pointed out.

"And little kids... maybe." Willow added. "No energy blasts, no killing, got it."

Trunks looked at her angry but relented. "Got it"

Willow nodded relieved. "Now see if you can find a place we can stay in."

* * *

Trunks flew into the air and took a look around as Buffy's jaw dropped. "Hey guys there's a house there with no one in it." Willow nodded that will work for now.

Trunks walked into the house carrying Buffy useless woman how has she stayed alive for so long. "Here, now stay here."

Trunks tried to leave but the noble woman grabbed his arm.

"You can't leave me alone here."

Trunks looked at her and very easily nodded. "Yes, I can I'll be in the next room if something happens."

The noble woman grabbed Trunks and pulled him into a kiss. She'll need her protector to get through this madness.

Angel came in and to his surprise he sees Buffy kissing Xander. He couldn't help the pang of jealousy that came over him as he approached the two ready to fight.

* * *

Willow led Cordy inside away from the dog face boy as the cat catches her breath only to hear a loud racket almost like an explosion. The two ran for the living room only for Trunks to walk by them and into the kitchen for a snack as he emptied the fridge. Willow came into the amusing sight of Angel's legs stuck in the ceiling like Winnie the Pooh and the tree. "What did I say?"

"He'll live." Trunks replied.

Buffy looked at her savior in the kitchen with wondering eyes. If he's rich their children will be beautiful and powerful. She walked into the kitchen and gave Trunks a handkerchief to the Saiyan's confusion. "A token of my appreciation, for chasing off that brute."

Trunks rolled his eyes and just took it to avoid the fight. He's really got to get home. This girl makes Goku look like a rogue scholar. "Ghost lady, please tell me you have something?"

Willow looked at him. "I'll go see Giles… provided you pull Angel out of the ceiling."

Trunks shrugged and grabbed the vampire's leg with one arm and yanked him to the floor. Buffy's eyes widen as Willow walks through the door.

Trunks watches as the lights goes off and Buffy clinches onto his arm. He stared at Angel if he's willing to punch a Saiyan in the face for her he can keep her. "You take the princess and secure downstairs. Me and the cat girl will go up."

Buffy looked at Angel as he dragged her off. "But I want to stay with my knight. He has a sword? Do you have a sword?"

* * *

Trunks came down the block with Cordy and Angel after the vampire lost the princess. Trunks saw a pirate and effortlessly punched him so hard into the wall it leaves a dent. "Lady, are you alright?"

"My knight protected me?" Buffy asked.

Trunks sighed but responded. "Yeah, why not."

Buffy kissed him again to Angel's frustration even knowing it's not Xander and Buffy in the driver's seat the scene angers him.

The four turned seeing Willow come to them. "Guys you have to get back inside. Trunks the blond haired vampire you can fight."

A small smile formed on Trunk's face. Yeah, he's going to enjoy this.

* * *

Spike walked down the block with a smile this should be interesting. "You're in my way droopy boy.

Trunks remained perfectly calm this guy's power is a joke. "Leave, right now."

Spike walked right up fearing nothing as Trunks pulled out his sword and just as quickly put it back but kept a little piece up above the sheathe. "OK, what was the point of that?"

"Give it a moment." Trunks replied waiting a couple seconds. He sheathed the rest of the sword as Spike's duster started to fall apart at the seams.

Spike watched his beloved coat fall apart into leather scraps. "Do you have any idea what I had to do to get this?"

"Don't care." Trunks replied as Spike took a swing but the teenager easily caught the fist and squeezed down crushing his hand.

Spike's eyes widen in fear from two things one the enormous amount of pain and blood dripping down his hand and two. The realization that there's a saiyan warrior not three feet from him. "So… um I promise only to do good things from now on mate. You can let me go now I have good things to do."

Trunks looked at him with a straight face not showing an ounce of emotion. "Wrong one jackass" He punched Spike in the chest so hard the vampire felt his ribs shatter as Trunks threw him to the air and put his hands together as Spike flew through the sky. Trunks shouted a yellow energy blast shot out of his hands reducing the vampire to ash as all the demons got the message leaving Trunks and the others alone as the spell wore off thanks to Giles.

* * *

Xander looked over and saw Buffy whose eyes had been glued to him all night because of the spell just switches her focus to Angel. Because he was the one that killed Spike, no that was him. Angel was the one that walked into an awkward kiss and slugged him like a jackass. Why couldn't Trunks have killed him insetad of letting him off with a warning?

Xander watches the lovebirds leave to his disgust he has the power and unlike Angel he does more then sit on his ass. But one set of pedophile brooding eyes and she comes running… just not fair.

Cordelia watched the two leave. "You know it felt like I was here."

"Welcome to the club." Xander replied looking around seeing frightened kids all around them. "Come on, let's get these guys home."

* * *

Two hours later all the kids were home and Xander looked at his new bulk frame. 100 percent muscle as Cordy pointed out. It's sad that he can't compete with Angel for Buffy's heart. You have to be dark, mysterious, and most important of all sit on your ass as your girlfriend dies. This might be a consequence of going as the son of Vegeta for Halloween but as far as Xander could tell, before he was worth ten of him. After tonight he's worth a thousand of him… and maybe worth a million.

Xander focused on the vampire that just seems to do nothing but piss him off. The one time he didn't piss him off was last week but the words of Willow brought him rushing back when he was right the first time. Xander loves her as a friend but he honestly believes Willow would take a swim if Buffy said jump off the bridge so of course she'd support Buffy on dating the 200 year old guy that can't tan. Xander growled at frustration at the piece of trash vampire whom was willing to let Spike bite him by his own words. Lousy piece of Eurotrash.

Xander growled as a little mini quake started at his feet and a white glow surrounded him. The almighty Angel whose greatest accomplishment was beating up drunken frat boys! While he bent over backwards and literally changed fate to save her. And what does she say when she first comes back to life. Angel and what does he do…

Xander growled for a minute and shouted. "Nothing!" Xander's eyes turn green as his hair transforms into a glowing blond. Xander put a hand up as an energy blast leaves his hand and destroys Ethan's costume store. And no jealousy did not awake his super saiyan powers he just hates the guy and thought it would be funny. But after today he knows Buffy won't ever let him go. Well maybe one day he'll find a warrior girl not obsessed with the dead, but for now… he's a blond haired Superman and he's going to enjoy it. Xander takes to the sky ready for whatever comes next.

* * *

Author's Notes

Dragonball Z is owned by Akira Toriyama


	24. Chapter 23: Beauty and the Hmmm?

A blond woman let out a moan in ecstasy until she heard something break underneath her. Screw her home this is paradise. At least it was until everything stopped. She lifted her hands and legs and moved aside looking at his face. Yep, she broke his neck. She smiled at her chaos a bit so she lost control it wasn't her fault. She bent down and gently kissed him on the top of the head before getting dressed a little and going into the kitchen.

* * *

The blond went into the fridge and pulled out what she needed for a mouth seeing a twinkie. She grabbed the can of whip cream and looked at the two stacks of pancakes on plates she sprayed two little spots for the eyes followed by a slope for the mouth and finishing with a twinkie mustache. She smiled seeing the bedroom door open.

Xander Harris came out his head at an awkward angle after it snapped back into place yet again and brought him back to life. "Did you break my neck again?"

The blond nodded. "Sorry about that, I lost control again."

Xander nodded easily accepting her apology since this is the fifteenth time it's happened, immune my ass. "It's OK I just thought my poor little neck could take it by now. I'm supposed to be immune to it."

"You are getting stronger. First time I broke your neck in thirty seconds." The girl replied knowing her strength is growing.

"Yeah but I figured I'd have an adamantium neck by now." Xander replied. "So is Buffy still mad at me for dusting that uber vamp?"

The girl pointed around their room in the Hyperion with a bed, bathroom and kitchen. "Are we still in LA?"

Xander shrugged. "Well at least Angel still likes us."

The girl laughed. "Well when you free Cordy from the higher power want to be killing her and I punch its maggot infested head in it tends to make a person grateful."

Xander smiled pouring them glasses of orange juice. "Yeah shame I didn't get to hulk out though."

"Yeah but then you'd go after innocent people, then I'd have to be there to rip your spine out since your heart is immune to it and… and god damn having a soul sucks." The girl replied she can't believe she got stuck with this thing and turned caring. "I liked it better when I could just eat people and didn't give a flying fuck."

Xander nodded and looked at her. Sad thing is for her, this is progress. "Ooh pancakes."

"Smiley faces just how you like them." The girl replied and caught him looking at her. "What?"

Xander had a crooked smile on his face. "Actually I'm wondering why I'm eating breakfast while my wife is half naked holding a can of whipped cream."

"Hey, I cooked, so breakfast first sweetie."

Xander and his wife move in a blur eating their breakfast in two seconds as he lifts his wife over his shoulder and throws her onto the shattered remains of their bed. The girl smiled feeling kisses on her neck and his nibbling on her earlobe.

"Say my name." The girl requested. When Xander didn't she stopped him with one hand and held him over her before punching him in the face with the other.

The girl smiled seeing Xander close his eyes from the blow and she went to hit him again but Xander caught her arm and she smiled as he opened his now crimson red eyes.

"Glory" Xander said in a smile as he pinned her arms down with one hand and ripped her dress off with the other revealing black lace. How did this tale of Mad Love come to be? Well, it started on Halloween.

* * *

Xander looked around the stand on Halloween his face is just as bummed as Ethan's. God he wishes he was a kid. Kids can be demons, whatever they want. Chaperones however got stuck with a real life heroes theme. Buffy is going as a cop. Which Xander believes she'll actually become one day, and Willow is going as a soldier. He can't believe Willow stole his thing.

Ethan looked at the Scooby and smiled. "Trouble with a costume?"

Xander nodded. "Thanks to Snyder and a back stabbing friend for stealing my idea so the jacket can cover herself up… yes. We have to go as real life heroes and I'm stumped."

"Doctor" Ethan recommended.

Xander shook his head. "No between the colored scrubs and the white jacket it's too bright of a costume in this town. And besides, I'm more of a follower then a leader.

Ethan smiled as an idea came into his head. "Well if you're a follower how about this."

Xander looked at it. "Oh… what is it?"

Ethan held out the blue shirt black pants and hospital jacket. "It's a paramedic suit you don't actually be a doctor you just drive the bodies around and keep them going for the doctor."

Xander nodded he had nothing better going for him at the moment. "Good enough for me."

* * *

Xander's body ran to the nearest scream on Halloween. Xander ran right to the source and saw a girl running from a monster of all things.

Xander looked at her carefully as she ran into him and Xander led her in doors and locked the door on the demon. "Are you OK?"

Buffy calmly nodded. "Considering three minutes ago I thought I was dead yeah."

Xander looked at her confused. "Dead?"

Buffy nodded. "My name is Anna Rodriguez."

Xander looked her over she's a little unqualified to be that person. "I read about her she was killed in the line of duty last week. Something about PCP."

Anna shakes her head. "If you call Bob Munroe shooting me in the back for trying to get monsters off a girl then yes, I died in the line of duty." She looked at the boy he's cute she wishes she knew how little time she'd have. She survived high school but her strong sense of justice got her killed barely out of school. "So what's your story?"

Xander looked away for a moment before collecting himself he still blacks out from time to time. "I was born in Smallville Kansas... I think."

"Farmboy?" Anna asked.

Xander innocently shrugged. "I wouldn't know, spent my life bounced around the system from one home to the next. Thinking of heading home actually." He won't mention the dead animals. Xander held out his hand in a smile. "Davis Bloome" Anna smiled and shook his hand as the two went out back and helped as many as they can.

* * *

Xander walked home trying to shut up the voices in his head. He went as a paramedic with black out issues, lovely. Xander heard a quiet noise no one wants to hear in Sunnydale someone is sneaking up on him. He quietly turns into an alley and walks right into a hand holding his throat as Spike shows himself with five other vampires.

Xander quietly gulped god damn Halloween. "Spike, what going on?"

Spike smiled as he approached him. "Well instead of having filet mignon slayer blood tonight I was far too late because of the watcher and poof… overall this night has been disappointing. Have to settle for run of the mill red blood."

Xander looked around completely well it's not like he didn't know he was going to die at some point after flipping off Murphy and saving Buffy last year. He tried to rush peroxide head but the others grabbed him and held him down. "Just get it over with."

"I didn't say your blood droopy. I'm just going to kill you. I said red blood and she's not that far from here." Spike with a smile.

Xander fought harder knowing only one redhead they'd have in common but was still overwhelmed by four vampires. "No, leave her alone."

"Yeah, that will work, now say please." Spike quipped.

Xander let out a growl in anger at Spike and fear for Willow as he feels overwhelmed like something is trying to crawl its way out and it's a lot meaner then the Hyena. "Leave her alone."

Spike turned around seeing the crimson red glow in Xander's eyes. Well that can't be good. Xander's teeth become more beast like as bone spurts start emerging from his hands. "Right, bugger this demon." Spike went right for the neck only to shout in pain and spit out two chipped off fangs. "What the hell?"

Spike looks at Xander's neck as it grays along with the rest of his body and the grey covers his hair and Xander had grown about three feet ripping his shirt to shreds leaving nothing but a gray inbred hulk with bone protrusions sticking out of his chest and hands with hair Hulk Hogan style white hair.

Spike looked at the Zeppo what kind of demon is this? "OK, show him whose boss Dalton."

The bald vampire looked at Spike like he had his head wedged up his ass. "What, why me? You're the one who bagged two slayers."

Doomsday snarled at Spike causing the vampire to wince and take a step back.

"Well it's not like it was Buffy." Spike countered.

The creature delivered one haymaker to Spike's head and in a scene reminiscent of a Friday the 13th movie Spike's head came clean off as bone brain flesh, and blood scattered before turning to ash.

* * *

The next morning Giles came into the library he'll get to Ethan's in the afternoon to his surprise he found Xander torpedoing through books like a madman. "Xander, I didn't even know you could use the card catalogue. He sees the big piles of books on the floor. "Have you been here all night?"

"Just since the sun came up, and Willow taught me the system thingy." Xander replied throwing the book down and pulling out the next one.

Giles nodded. "Well, what are you looking for? Maybe I can help?"

"Binding spells, spells to take away powers, a spell that can kill me without leaving a body." Xander answered flipping through pages and then slamming it on the ground. "Nothing!"

"Xander calm down, panicking isn't going to help any." Giles replied.

Xander pointed. "No, you calm down considering everything that has happened since last night I am perfectly calm."

Giles looked at him and saw how scared he was of himself more then anything else. "What happened?"

"I don't know?" Xander answered honestly. "Spike caught up to me last night and said something about demon. And I think might have blacked out or something because the next thing I remember I woke up in a pool of blood and dust in the forest. I went home and took a shower and… Giles, none of the blood was mine. Giles I watched the news this morning two park rangers are missing."

Giles looked at the boy clearly distraught. "You don't think you…"

"I don't know!" Xander shouted before calming down. "But Giles before I blacked out there was something in my head and it was evil and everything was adding up to me so I did something stupid..." Giles watched as Xander opened his shirt enough to show bare skin to Xander's own surprise. "Not even a scar! There was a scar right here!"

Giles looked at him a scar for what not that it matters. "From what?"

"From when I killed myself." Xander answered.

Giles took off his glasses clearly upset. "Xander, for god sakes why would you try to do that."

"Because I never wanted that thing unleashed in the world again.I'mpretty sure it killed all the vampires and Buffy would hesitate if she found out it was me she was fighting like she did with the Hyena. So I staked myself to make sure that fight never happened." Xander explained. "For all the good it did me, I woke up fifteen minutes later my body had somehow pushed the stake out and healed itself and when I went to do it again, the stake exploded into splinters on impact. Giles, what the hell is happening to me?"

Giles was currently thinking of ways to kill Ethan he's going to have to look into these park rangers. "I don't know… but I assure you, I'll find out."

"Just promise me you won't tell the girls yet? I'll do it when we figure out just what the answers are."Xander pleaded.

Giles nodded in agreement knowing he has work to do.

* * *

Xander laid in bed looking at the sleeping and worn out Glory, the only person that can likely understand him that he doesn't hate like Angel… well very annoyed by not hate. Those answers wouldn't come until two years ago when out of the blue he got a phone call from someone using a blocked ID that only showed up as watchtower. He's a creature called Doomsday only difference is thanks to a magician Giles knows, they were able to put up cages in his head to keep the beast in check through high school and even now but he can feel its started to weaken as Doomsday grows stronger by the day.

Then the Scoobies met Glory. Xander fought the longest naturally given his inability to not die for long. However the story of how she got a soul and became his wife is a much different story for a much different day.

* * *

Author's Notes

Smallville is owned by the WB and DC

Almost made it without a Smallville crossover.

Craziest couple I could think of a story for.


	25. Chapter 24: The Greek Invasion

Buffy came in the store not believing her luck as she Willow and Xander wait for their second guy. Snyder volunteered them all for Halloween and now to add to the fun they have to go as a group theme. The four waited until a van came up and a little man with blond hair came out.

Oz looked at the group and hey he got stuck with the Eskimo girl. This could have been worse. "Hey"

"Hey" The other three reply.

* * *

Xander was looking around drawing blanks. "So what do you guys want to go as? Power Rangers, Justice League, we gotta pick something? I'd say TMNT but there are no girls."

Buffy watched another girl walk off with her noble woman dress she is so getting Snyder back for this. "Wasn't there a Ven...?"

"No" Oz, Willow, and Xander replied.

Oz looked at the costumes and got an idea. "Fantastic four and She Hulk?"

Xander looked Buffy and Willow neither girl could pull off She Hulk. Willow would never go with it and Buffy has the strength but is too short. "Nah"

Willow pointed over at another set. "Hey Final Fantasy VII Me and Buffy can be Aeris and Tifa and you two can be…" Willow frowned seeing someone take the Cloud costume."

Buffy thought about it seeing an ascot. "How about Scooby Doo? Oz can be Fred, Xander can be Shaggy, I'll be Velma and Willow can be Daphne?"

Xander looked at her. "Why is Willow Daphne?" She's much more of a Velma if you ask him.

Buffy ran her finger through her best friend's hair. "She has that Daphne red hair. Why would I be her?"

Oz smiled. "Good point."

Xander looked to the left as something caught his eye a circular item attached to leather. "Hey guys, if we're going as a group why don't we go as the four most ancient badasses that ever lived."

Oz looked up and nodded that will work for him. Sadly he'll be short for Xander's tall and since cute Willow has red hair she should be able to pull off the other one well.

Buffy looks up at what she'd be wearing and she thinks she still has that hair dye from last year when she dressed as Kathryn from Cruel Intentions. Leather clad and it will be a funny laugh to see her dressed as someone actually older then Angel.

Willow looked up with a smile she'll always be Buffy's best friend and maybe the slayer can teach her how to use the actual weapon.

Xander looked up at his costume, the only one without weapons but more then makes up for it considering what he can do despite wearing the color yellow. "Well, what do you think?"

"Works" Oz said stoic as ever.

"I'm in." Buffy replied looking at her costume this what she meant by sexy and wild but Willow's will look good for her too.

Willow shrugged not exactly cover but thanks to Snyder she can't be the ghost. She lowers her head and quietly mutters. "OK."

* * *

Buffy waited in line behind Willow seeing Xander buy his costume. And Oz is now buying his. She looks at her best friend and sees her eyes no longer focused on Xander but on Oz. Willow's looking at his hands. She whispers into her best friend's ears "You're checking out Oz."

Willow's face blushed with color. "No, it's just… he has nice hands."

Buffy smiled. "And notice to small details is the first sign."

"He's a senior." Willow replied.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "And you think that's important… my boyfriend has a bicentennial."

Willow nodded seeing her point. "Yeah… but."

Buffy frowned seeing its time for tough Buffy. "You can't spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Make a move. Do the talking thing."

Willow looked away. "Well, what if the talking thing becomes the awkward-silence  
thing?"

Buffy shrugged. "Well, you won't know until you try."

* * *

Xander and Oz opened the door and Xander smiled seeing Buffy and decided to try to keep his mouth shut all night to avoid droll coming out. "Buffy! You look amazing!"

Buffy smiled looking her self over in her pretty much leather miniskirt and armor combo. She looks at Xander's arms and has he always been like this or is that the costume? Bad Buffy focus... must be the hair dye.

Xander looked at Buffy in the short dress it's no question Joyce was out of town that night she'd blow a gasket seeing her and he still can't believe he got Buffy into what amounts to a leather skirt and big boots showing off her toned arms and legs damn it why can't she see him as more then a friend, oh well. "So are we ready to go?"

Buffy nodded looking at Oz pants and sleeveless jacket, no shirt. "Yeah, we're good. We're just waiting for Willow."

Oz stares in awe seeing Willow come down in a green belly shirt with a diamond pattern, and criss-cross strings in the front along with a brownish orange dress and one of Buffy's quarterstaffs.

Buffy smiled seeing the two hit it off and maybe a tinge of jealousy from Xander once he saw it. Buffy looked away from Xander's arms in his yellow shirt and leather pants gauntlets tied to his arms. Angel, Angel, Angel, that's the guy you're dating. "OK, so let's head out."

* * *

Xander held his head as the spell took place Xander looked around and was confused for a moment seeing Oz with now curly blond hair. Xander however instantly got to his feet and backhanded a demon as it sailed through the air and landed on the roof of a house.

Oz looked at him in confusion. "Hercules, what's going on how did we get here?"

Hercules smiled a quiet smile not having seen this person since he died millennia upon millennia ago from old age. "Iolaus? I don't know just keep fighting. And don't kill anyone."

Iolaus delivered a couple kicks in rapid succession to a demon's face ending it with one last roundhouse. Hercules hits another one and sends him tumbling down the block he really needs to relearn how to pull his punches fast. Iolaus looked at him worried. "I don't remember you hitting so hard before?"

"Been kinda rusty" The current demi god announced, why is he a demigod again?

"Ahhhhleleleleleleleleeeeya!"

Both heroes of old turn their heads to the sound and smiled.

"Was that who I think it was?" Iolaus asked.

Hercules just hit him on the shoulder leading the way. "Come on!"

* * *

Hercules and Iolaus rushed the scene and Iolaus let out a smile seeing Gabrielle fighting a demon with her staff. She hits each leg and finishes with an overhead spin. Hercules switches his attention to Xena seeing her fight off a trio of them with her bare hands. He's thankful to see his old friend again after finding out about her horrible fate.

Xena jumped through the air in a flip landing at Hercules' feet. "What are you two doing here?"

"Could ask you the same thing?" Hercules replied kicking a demon in the chest.

Xena shrugged in innocence she figured it was one of the gods doing… but she kind of killed them all. "No idea."

* * *

Five minutes later the demons fled giving the four heroes a chance to breath.

Hercules looked at them wondering what the hell is going on one moment he's up in Olympus and the next he's on earth with two old friends and Xena.

Iolaus looked at Gabrielle whom has become the Battling Bard of Potidaea according to legend. She's a battling Bard and he's still the guy that follows Hercules around. "So how have you been?"

Gabrielle looked at him. "It's been a rough road but we got through it."

Xena looked at the two and smiled she really hopes they can sort it out after the Prometheus adventure. She watched Hercules and approached him in silence. He knows something that he's not telling. "I know that look in your eyes. Its way too old to be coming from you so what's really going on Hercules?"

"I don't know." Hercules answered honestly. "What I do know is that the three of you are a lot further in the future then you should be."

"How far?" Xena asked.

"Far enough to know that I took my eyes off this piece of the world for far too long" Hercules answered. "Juvi was right I should focus on Ohio less?"

Xena looked at him in confusion. "Juvi?"

"My wife, Juventas" Hercules answered as Xena looked at him in confusion and he quickly realized she has no memory of Sareena so that talk never happened. "I just…"

"It's OK." Xena assured him bruised pride not withstanding. Besides if this is the future god knows how long she's been dead. "We're long… long past the time we could have been together."

Xena looked at Hercules and the grass shaking behind him. "Five behind you"

Hercules watched the bush. "Eight behind you… and Billy Idol is leading the charge."

Xena looked at him confused until the demons rushed out. "Gabrielle, Iolaus on our backs. Nothing gets in the circle."

Hercules started with a punch to the demon knocking it out cold. Xena went head to head with Billy Idol giving him a matching scar on his other eye with her Chakram a circular weapon made specifically for her. Hercules grabbed one of the demons arms and thought of a much more useful idea. "Everyone down!" the other three ducked as Hercules used the demon as a flail hitting every other demon with it as he spun in circles. Hercules let go as the demon soared through the air and landed next block over on the roof in a resounding thud and all the demons seeing this man's strength quickly fled.

Spike looked at them for a moment. "Another day slayer" He quickly fled with the others.

Iolaus watched him leave in confusion. "Why does he want to slay Xena or Gabrielle?"

Hercules looked at him he really doesn't want to explain demons and slayers to his friends right now. "It doesn't matter. Right now there are a whole lot of people that need our help right now."

* * *

Two hours later the Halloween spell is unbeknownst to the group broken by Cordelia, Angel, and Giles. Oz looks at everyone confused. "So, has this whole night made sense that's just not to anyone else?"

Xander just dropped the now much heavier car door. "Demons are real, most of them live in Sunnydale, Wills can fill you in."

Buffy smiled seeing her chance to do good for her friend. "Xander, walk me home."

Xander nodded in agreement. He walked Buffy home while Willow walked the other direction with Oz getting to know him.

Xander turned to Buffy he's going to be curious about this for the rest of his life. "So you went as Xena."

Buffy smiled looking at the toy chakram. "I did, I gotta see if Giles can make a modern day equivalent of this."

Xander nodded before asking. "So what was their deal? Xena and Gabrielle, were one of them dating Ares, Joxer, or was it really each other."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "You're not going to drop this until you know are you?"

Xander shook his head. "Nope"

"Well… it's like this."

* * *

Next Week Xander woke up to knocking at one in the morning what the hell is this. He comes downstairs rummaging through the darkness until he got to the door. He opened the door and his eyes widened in shock.

"Damn it kid, you and your girlfriend gotta learn the magic of windows." A voice from upstairs shouted.

Xander rolled his eyes in uneasiness not believing his guest had to hear that though on the other hand he could have NOT cursed him with Tony Harris as a father so his guest can deal with it. He looked upstairs and shouted. "It's not Buffy or Willow, have a drink!"

"Then who the hell is knocking at one in the damn morning?"

Xander rolled his eyes and shouted "Kevin Sorbo!"

"Friggin smartass" The voice muttered before disappearing.

Xander looked at him wearing pretty much the same thing he wore in the show only white shirt instead of yellow. "So what can I do for you?"

"Can I come in?" The god asked.

"No" Xander answered.

Hercules looked at him for a moment and then realized what he said and just came in when Xander stepped aside. "So how much do you remember?"

"Enough to know that you're really Hercules and Sam Sorbo is Juventas." Xander answered. "Having your current wife play your dead wife, you do realize Freud would have a field day with you right?"

"Considering how badly we portrayed her mother can you blame her for not wanting to play herself?" Hercules pointed out.

Xander shrugged seeing his point. "So what are you doing here?"

Hercules grabbed Xander by the arms as energy rushed through him and Xander felt strong again. he felt like Hercules again. "Did, you just give me your powers?"

Hercules looked at him. "It would be kind of hard for you to be the king of the gods. I just gave you superhuman strength to go with Buffy's powers and new power she got last week."

Xander's eyes widened Buffy already has slayer powers so he must mean Xena's power to kill gods. "You want us to kill the gods!"

"No, but I had the oracles look it up you're going to need these powers in a few years to save the world." Hercules explained finding out about Glorificus from the new fates who orchestrated tonight since the Greeks needed a way out of the no god killing another god. "Oh and you might want to find Jonathan after this."

Xander looked at him confused. "The little guy in my class why?"

"He went as a soldier, might be useful." Hercules answered. "I'm always around if you need help but make sure it's absolutely necessary."

Xander nodded and watched as Hercules disappeared in a trail of white light as Buffy walked up almost upset. "Buff, what's wrong?"

"I broke up with Angel." Buffy answered.

Xander's eyes widened that's new. "Um OK why?"

"Because he was cursed… and curses." Buffy said waiting for what Xander taught her or more Hercules taught Xena.

"Are meant to be broken." Xander answered sadly, for Buffy anyway. At least they found out now before the curse was lifted somehow. "Buff this might sound funny coming from me of all people but I am sorry."

Buffy looked at him crooked of course it sounded weird form him. "You hate Angel!"

"True but you're one of my favorite people. And I'd never hurt Angel just to hurt you." Xander pointed out. "You want to go get a drink."

Buffy looked at him. "At this hour?"

Xander shrugged his shoulders. "Its Sunnydale there's gotta be a vamp bar somewhere. And odds are its better then my house."

The two walked in shared smiles. Xander thinks about the future ahead and Hercules' warning soon Buffy will come face to face with a god one day. Well the bright side is she'll have the ability to kill it thanks to being possessed by Xena and he'll be fighting right by her side especially with the strength of Hercules on his side. He'll talk to Jonathan tomorrow guy looks like he could use some friends anyway. When that god comes to the hellmouth they'll be ready.

* * *

Author's Notes

Xena and Hercules are owned by Renaissance


	26. Chapter 25: Kindness of Strangers

Xander looked around the store gathering everything he needed pants, gun, knife, and a nice leather jacket. He has money this year and he plans to use it.

* * *

Xander looked at the school and saw his kids get in line see that the coat makes the guy apparently. He looked over and saw Cordy dressed up in a beautiful red dress. He then saw Snyder come in and started giving her a hard time.

Snyder looked her over. "Ms. Chase, I'll have you know that this is far from appropriate attire for tonight's festivities."

Cordy looked at him she saw this red number at party town and wasn't willing to give it up. "It's a dress principal Snyder it's not like it's a thong. Besides it's important to my costume..."

Snyder eyed her over and sensed her lie with a smug smile. "Really then describe to me what this costume is."

Xander watched the scene this isn't his problem. Just walk away. Turn around and walk away Cordelia is supposed to be the enemy her pain should bring him glee. Xander looked away before rolling his eyes god damn it. He walked over sliding his jacket off.

Xander approached Cordelia with a smile. "You left this at my house."

Cordy stood in confusion seeing the dweeb put his jacket on her. Why is she feeling like this since Daryl. "I did… right I did."

"Well the dress is nice but without the leather jacket you don't really look like Alice from Resident Evil." Xander added.

Cordy smiled catching on to his idea. "Yeah, nice job on the scars too for your costume."

"Thanks" Xander replied. "Principal Snyder what can we do for you?"

Snyder walked past the two ignoring them seeing Buffy come in giving him a brand new target.

* * *

Cordelia held her chest wondering what the hell this dweeb's jacket did to her. All she wanted was a nice dress. The soul that took over Cordelia looked around for a moment. And while there are monsters she's pretty sure this isn't the T-Virus.

Xander was walking down the block trying to wrap his head around this madness. Well not that mad but still not a typical day. He bumped into another guy with blond hair and a leather coat who just looked at him.

Spike took a moment looking this man over. There's something familiar about him but he can't quite place it. He's not the slayer he thinks he's one of her people as far as he knows but much taller. But he's familiar and dear god is his face messed up it looks like he went face first into a lawnmower. "Bloke. what the hell happened to you."

"I fell down some stairs." Xander replied.

Spike looked at him as he turned to game face and growled at seven feet this should be a fun warmup to the weakened Buffy. "Was there a wood chipper at the bottom of them?"

Xander looked at Spike and smiled he can always tell the psychotic ones. "That there is one damn fine _coat_ you're wearin".

* * *

Cordelia's costume was exploring the streets knocking down demons that crossed her path she doesn't want to kill any unnecessary demons and unlike the zombies she doesn't know if these can become human again.

She hears a woman scream and quickly runs out to help the girl. To her surprise she sees someone else with a brutal face but faces don't really mean that much to her. Cordelia sees the hulking man beating the hell out of a pirate by smashing his head into a car door. She also sees a noblewoman pulling up her dress and covering up.

Cordelia kneels down next to the girl and helps her with her dress. "What's your name?"

"Elizabeth Anna O' Conner" The noblewoman replied.

"That's a mouthful. My name is Alice." Alice replied watching the beating. "Any idea who the big guy is?"

"He's a monster." Elizabeth replied.

Alice walked over to the hulking man and damn. That's a nice coat. "I think it's over."

The man pulled out a knife as the pirate shook in fear. "Not yet."

Alice rolled her eyes. "You're just supposed to scare guys like this."

"Blood is scary." The man pointed out.

Alice sighed in frustration she's using her powers to pop the blood vessels in his head in thirty seconds. She grabbed the knife and informed him. "It's enough as is."

Xander looked at the girls and saw he was scaring the other one. The one in the fancy dress wouldn't last a day where he's from. "Sorry I get lost, confused, and nothing pisses me off more then a rude lug attacking a woman."

Alice nodded in understanding and she thought guys like this were dead. "It's OK my name is Alice. What's your name?"

"Marv" Xander replied taking a moment to look her over in the red dress clinging off her curves and given the muscles on her she probably fights as good as she looks. He looks at her and smiles girl like that would never touch him. "That is one fine coat you're wearing."

Alice looked at her clothes and can only laugh seeing she's back into what she wore in the hive. "Not really, belonged to an asshole."

"Can't be that bad if you're wearing his coat." Marv pointed out.

Alice rolled her eyes and explained her 'husband' in a very blunt matter. "He fucked me and then he fucked the whole world over all in the name of money."

Marv looked at her now who would screw over such a beautiful woman. "You got an address for this guy?"

"That's kind of you, but I already split his skull with an ax." Alice replied.

Marv let out a smile that to his surprise didn't frighten her away. "Lady, you're my kind of crazy."

They both laugh until they see a redhead run up to them and then literally through a car. "Oh thank god you guys found Buffy. Come on we have to get inside right now."

Marv looked at her this has been a weird night.

Alice asked the rational question. "Do you know what's going on?"

Willow nodded and explained everything and Alice listened to the story with more enthusiasm then Marv. But eventually both agreed to follow this Willow person.

* * *

Marv sat by the window watching the city burn from their house Alice is guarding downstairs which leaves him as lookout. He took a bottle of booze from the fridge for himself as company. He'd rather be using Gladys right now to find the person that killed Goldie but all things in time.

Marv watched the door open and saw the beauty of Old Town come into the room. "I'm going to kill everyone that had a hand in what happened to you Goldie. Just give me time."

Marv watched as Goldie emerged from the shadows revealing Alice. He really needs his meds. "Sorry… I-I get confused. Why aren't you watching the ground?"

"According to Willow Elizabeth's boyfriend showed up so it freed me up. So who's Goldie?" Alice asked.

Marv looked away. "Not your business."

Alice looked at him. Yeah, like she's really going to look the other way hearing him call her a completely different name. "She important to you, were you her bodyguard?"

Marv looked at her. "Way I look, Goldie was the only woman who'd ever look at me. Then add to that how I get confused."

"You ever see anyone about that confusion?" Alice asked. It can't possibly be healthy.

"Lucille tried to have her girl analyze me but I scared the hell out of her. Pills are just easier." Marv answered.

Alice rolled her eyes the joys of pharmaceuticals. "If you knew my life you'd doubt that. You really think there was only one person for you?"

"None of the girls trusted me because of how I looked not that I can blame them." Marv replied knowing full well even Goldie likely just wanted a bodyguard. "Goldie didn't I fell in love with her now I'm just working my way up to who killed her."

Alice frowned. Goldie sounded like a wonderful woman.

"So why are you being nice to me, most women would flee?" Marv asked.

Alice shrugged and gave what she thought looking at the tall man. "You remind me of Matt. A pharmaceutical company experimented on us and when they were done with him, he was as tall as you and ten times as ugly."

"He's dead?" Marv asked.

Alice nodded and fought off the tears. "The company tried to kill me with a helicopter gunner. Matt shot it down with a rocket and he was tough, damn near bulletproof, but having a helicopter crush you will probably kill anything."

Marv had a smile on his face. "Defiant to the end, that's how I'd go out."

Alice smiled sitting next to him. "That's what the blood on your jacket says."

Marv smiled seeing that must have been when he gouged the eyes out of the previous owner weird thing was he turned to dust when he died.

Alice smiled taking the bottle from him taking a swig. "To the people we lost."

Marv smiled as he took the bottle off her. "And making the ones responsible pay."

Alice nodded in agreement as he took a drink. Alice decided why not since Goldie is dead and gently kissed him as Marv was taken back by the initiative before deepening the kiss as the spell broke.

Xander and Cordelia broke apart the kiss coming to an abrupt halt.

"Well, that was unexpected." Xander quipped.

Cordelia nodded not moving. "We should really check on the oth…" Her last train of thought broken when they return to kissing. This must never reach word to the outside world.

* * *

**Two months later**

Xander stood there listening to the plan… this plan is bullshit. "Ok… who the hell came up with this?"

Buffy turns to him in the library like she's having a much better night. She lost Angel and they have a demonic mass murdering smurf to deal with this. "You did, remember?"

"As a joke" Xander replied. "Sending Cordelia against this guy was me making a joke."

Willow looked at him. "Probably upset we're just sending in his girlfriend."

Xander rolled his eyes. "You know, you brought a date for Buffy's birthday why am I on trial for this. And that's not the point anyway, the judge burns humanity and Cordelia, is very much human." As he learned from the past two months seeing far more from the cheerleader thanks to sharing Halloween trauma thier costumes had and her freaking out her friends by having a telekinetic episode in the girl's locker room when they grilled her about talking to Xander and sending all the girls half naked into the hall. Best… day… ever.

Cordelia squeezed her boyfriend's arm gently. Xander is an impressive seven foot which they just say gigantism and everyone brought it thanks to hellmouth cover. He's also one hell of a fighter now but he can very easily be burned and that scares her more then anything. "Look for whatever reason when the Judge held me at the factory nothing happened. So the T-Virus is protecting me from him and I am the only one that can stop him. I'm doing it get over it cave troll."

"And all of the sudden I'm missing dweeb." Xander finished. He wishes he knew how to steal a rocket launcher.

Buffy led everyone out. "OK you guys know the plan me and Xander will shoot him with crossbows and keep him distracted while Cordy cuts his damn head off. Let's get in Oz's van and get to the factory."

With that the group left ready to go out swinging in this last ditch effort to save the world.

* * *

Author's Notes

Sin City is owned by Frank Miller

Alice is owned by…. Maybe Capcom Maybe Paul WS Anderson but definitely not me.


	27. Chapter 26: Nobody Wins

Xander sat there on Halloween not believing he's letting Buffy dress him. Especially for his wallet's sake, he could have been a two dollar soldier. Buffy comes back with a goatee and a long coat. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's the costume going to be?"

"Male slayer" Buffy answered paying Ethan.

Xander rolled his eyes. "And that's how you plan on paying me back for Larry."

"Hey the girls will go non verbal when they see you." Buffy replied and thought to herself. 'And you'll go non verbal when you see Willow.'

Xander shrugged and just let Buffy take the lead as he already paid for it.

Xander looked himself over and saw it wasn't really that bad. "Are you sure this is a good look."

Buffy nodded she felt bad for abandoning Xander and Willow as soon as she heard Snyder and volunteer but their outfits should make up for it. "You look good, if I wasn't already dating… maybe."

Xander rolled his eyes oh joy he's slightly under the two hundred year old killing machine. "Oh joy."

* * *

Willow fell to the floor as her ghostly form exited her body. OK this is weird. She listens and hears the familiar sound of a crossbow and follows the source. When she gets there it's not what she expects seeing a man with a crossbow about to shoot a demon. "No! Hold your fire, don't shoot."

"Why not?" The man asked he figured things would be bad if he left earth for a hundred years but never this bad.

"They're not demons they're human children." Willow quickly answered as the man put down his bow. "Don't know who you are but…"

"Daniel Holtz" The man answered. "Vampire hunter by trade"

Willow nodded. "I wish there was more of you by trade. We could really use your help especially on nights like this."

"Let's just see what good I can do in this world now." Holtz replied causing Willow to smile.

Willow regained her focus seeing Xander as this completely different person. "Good first we have to get Buffy."

Holtz nodded and followed Willow to the house. Whoever this Buffy is must fight demons like he does.

* * *

Buffy sat there mouth open in shock this can't be real can it. "Let me wrap my head around this. You're a hunter from the seventeenth century, Willow's a ghost, and all the kids have become their costumes."

Willow nodded. "That's more or less it."

Buffy turned to Holtz and asked one thing bothering her. "How can you not work with a slayer if you hunted for a decade?"

"The Catholic Church and your watcher's council as you called it don't get along." Holtz answered calmly. "We have deep reservations about the cruciamentum among other unethical practices they perform."

Buffy nodded she'll find out what that is later. "OK, well despite how much you hate the council, my watcher might be able to sort this mess out so let's roll."

"Roll? I think you'll find modern references lost to me." Holtz replied in confusion.

Willow smiled seeing the lost time traveler. "She means walking to her watcher,"

Holtz nodded and followed the two to the door as the last person he ever expected to opens it.

Angel opened the door walking in kind of a mess compared to his usual look wondering what happened to the city. "Thank god you guys are all right its total chaos out there." He turns around and sees the last person he'd ever expect to see especially in the present. "Holy mother of god"

Holtz looked at him. "You're the last person I ever expected to take praying to deities Angelus."

Buffy's eyes widen hearing that name. "Do you two know each other?"

"It's complicated." Angel replied immediately regretting his words. "I didn't mean… things are different now."

Holtz splashed holy water in Angel's face as his vampire face flickered on and off. "Seems the same to me."

Buffy looked at Angel. "Well… start explaining. What happened to you two?"

Angel looked at Holtz. "There aren't words to describe what I did to him."

"Try" Buffy demanded. "Because the only person, I've ever heard call you Angelus was Darla." She turned to Holtz. "What did he do?"

Holtz never took his eyes off Angel but replied. "He raped my wife and murdered her, along with my youngest, not even a year old. Then in an ultimate act of cruelty he corrupted my daughter. My sweet Sarah I had to throw her into the sun so she wouldn't hurt anyone else."

Buffy looked at Angel but dear god. She knew Angel was a bad vampire… but there's knowing and then hearing about it from one of his victims. "But... he's different now. He has a soul."

Holtz looked at him wide eyed. He was not expecting that. "How?"

Buffy looked to Angel whom just nodded as she told him. "He fed off a gypsy. They cursed him with his soul so he can suffer for all the crimes he's done."

Holtz shakes his head and readies his crossbow as Buffy quickly snatches it.

"What are you doing?" The slayer demanded. Did he not listen at all.

Holtz glared at the girl trying to stop him of all things. A slayer should know better. "I could ask the same of you. You claim to be the slayer and yet you let a good man suffer."

Buffy looked at him. "It's not like that, he's…"

Holtz caught the looks between the two maybe he's not that different. "A schoolgirl's crush... how quaint."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Buffy assured him.

"I know more then you think." Holtz replied. "You see him as a man he's not… he is a demon with the soul of an innocent man in him thanks to gypsies whom are far worse then Angelus. At least he was merely a demon. The gypsies had souls when they brought in Angelus' humanity to pay for sins he never committed."

Holtz took a moment he hates Angelus with every ounce in his body but he pities the human now stuck inside him. "And in my experience my dear… curses are made with the sole intention of being broken and if Angel was cursed to suffer, then a moment's happiness will break it and release Angelus back into the world solely because the gypsies favored vengeance over justice. I made the same mistake and I lost my chance to destroy the monster that killed my family."

Buffy looked at him. "I'm still not going to let you kill him."

"Then you condemn him to a demon for all eternity. Where eventually the demon will win out and corrupt the good soul that used to be him. How could you be so cruel?" Holtz asked.

Buffy looked at him not sure how to answer. "Let's just break this spell… if you two can work together. Angel… lead the way to the school."

Buffy's not taking any chances she's going to be between him and Holtz at all times.

* * *

Angel and Willow enter the library and to their surprise see Giles and Ms. Calendar mid kiss as they break apart.

Jenny blushed slightly not how she wanted that to end as Giles looked at them all uneasy at being caught like a child.

Buffy turned to Holtz. "What can you tell me about Daniel Holtz?"

Giles took off his glasses and looked at Holtz, and Angel he has a feeling those two are going to kill each other. "He was a demon hunter and a very skilled one at that in the 1750's he killed three hundred vampires before disappearing in 1767. Why?"

"Because that's who Xander became for Halloween." Buffy answered. "He also claims Angel can lose his soul would you know anything about that?"

Jenny looked away uncomfortably but Giles shook his head no. Jenny looked at the others and this isn't going to be easy but… better now then after the explosion of that monster returning to the world would bring. "I might be able to find out. I just have to call someone in my techno coven who deals in arcane spells."

"Do it." Buffy ordered.

* * *

The scoobies and Holtz were reading trying to figure out anything on Halloween's night of the living demons but they have nothing.

Buffy closed her book in frustration. "Nothing in this one either."

"At least you can turn the pages." Willow quipped causing them both to laugh.

The laugh was cut off by Jenny coming into the room clearly upset. Buffy looked down at the floor she doesn't even have to ask but just for the sake of it. "Is it true? Can the curse be broken?"

Jenny nodded there's something comforting about calling your people blind fools. "A moment's happiness will break the curse. Angel was supposed to suffer. The moment he suffers no more he will lose his soul. I'm sorry."

Buffy put up her hand to stop Jenny's worst news ever. "I wanted to know, and now I do."

Angel looked at them one last time his decision made in his head. "So any ideas how to break this curse on the town?"

Willow rubbed her eyes getting tired but then noticed something. Ms Calendar, she's in a green tank top and very short shorts… "That's a costume."

Jenny looked herself over and nodded. "Yes, Willow it is. What about it?"

"Well, why aren't you hopping around fighting dinosaurs with two guns… and ew in costume choice."

Jenny looked at her confused. "Because it's only a game I'm not really Lara… oh."

Giles eyes rose. "Jenny where did you buy your costume?"

"Ew" Buffy whimpered out putting it together. Why that costume, she's not going to be able to unsee that.

Jenny rolled her eyes she wanted Giles deal with it. "Party town, I got it form Party town."

Buffy looked at Willow who just nodded in agreement. "Alright let's go to Ethan's."

* * *

Xander opened his eyes in Ethan's for the first time since he became Holtz looking at the monster Angel truly was. He closed his eyes and looked away from the monster just leaving it for another day. He looks at Willow and he has been blind problem is in his head there's Caroline and everything Angel did to her. He just can't not right now.

Buffy looked around but saw that Angel had done his gone thing. Buffy quickly ran out the door and after Angel. She has a bad feeling about this.

* * *

Buffy scouted the supernatural areas which wasn't an easy accomplishment in Sunnydale with all the churches and graveyards but found Angel on top of a hill late into the night. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting." Angel answered.

Buffy looked at him. "For what?"

Angel looked at her and then looked up. "I think you know what."

Buffy turned to Angel shocked he can't actually be thinking of doing this. "Angel this isn't right."

Angel shakes his head. "It is."

"How is killing yourself ever the right thing to do?" Buffy asked furiously.

"Because Holtz was right about what he said." Angel answered.

Buffy shook her head in denial. "Angel you are not that person anymore. You're not the man that did those horrible things."

"Neither is the soul in me. I might not be Angelus but this soul it hasn't done the horrible things Angelus did, it doesn't deserve to carry the weight of it all." Angel replied.

Buffy shook her head. "Angel, you can't throw your life away like this."

Angel looked at her. She is the one thing he will miss. "Buffy what Holtz said about losing control to the demon… he wasn't wrong it happened before and it will probably happen again at some point, unless I stop it here and now! I was sent here for a purpose and maybe I already fulfilled it when I showed Xander where you were and helped him save your life."

Buffy looked at him confused. "You followed Xander. I thought it was the other way around."

Angel shakes his head no. "He lead, he threatened me when I tried to brush him off as a joke and told him to let you go. Now please go…"

Buffy looked at Angel it doesn't change anything. "You think I'm just going to let you kill yourself… it's not going to happen. Angel please the sun is almost up!"

"I don't want to live anymore." Angel replied. "For a hundred years an innocent soul suffered to punish me because the gypsies are pricks and you know what I made the best of it. I came here and I met you I had a purpose again. I was starting to be happy again. And now I learned tonight the soul can never have a moment's peace as long as I live. The only crime that soul performed was being a horrible son I have to end it… I have to set it free."

Buffy looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I understand."

Angel looked at her. "I want you to promise me something." Buffy nodded and listened. "I want you to find someone, someone who will love you and treat you with the respect you deserve. You are an incredible woman Buffy Summers... any guy out there would be lucky to have you."

Buffy looked at the floor not wanting to look him in the eyes but she nodded in agreement. "I-I will. But I already have that. I love you."

Angel hugged her. "I love you too."

Buffy smiled in the hug and kissed him as she reached into her back pulling out a concealed stake. She's seen what sunlight does and it's not a pretty end. She won't let Angel burn up like that. "Close your eyes."

Angel does as told and Buffy kisses him one last time before plunging the stake into the vampire's heart.

Buffy looked at him. "I only did it because I loved you."

Angel smiled at the shot of pain coursing through him and looked to Buffy. He smiled and whispered "I know…thank you" before disappearing in a trail of dust.

* * *

Buffy sat on the tombstone watching as the sun came up and looked sadly at the pile of ash that used to be the man she loved. She smiled looking up at the sky. She knows Angel's pure soul went to the good place. But Angel did some good in his life wherever he is, she hopes he's found peace.

* * *

Author's Notes

Out of all 31 stories I think this is my least favorite.

Spike I understand him seeking redemption because he chose his soul but Angel and Angelus are two completely different people as shown when they beat the hell out of each other in Orpheus. He's seeking redemption for about forty people. Yet he's acting like he has to make amends for every evil Angelus did. In truth the gypsies were just assholes and it would have made a lot more sense if Angel had stayed gone in Acathla like they originally planned. I think the crew realized this when writing Angel so wrote in all the bad things he's done as Angel.

So let's see. Angel's dead, Buffy's a train wreck. Xander is traumatized seeing Holtz memories and Holtz is likely trapped in stasis for eternity… Yeah I think I lived up to the title.

For people who think Holtz is out of character. I don't think he is with just wanting to kill Angel once he found out he had a soul. He tried to do the same thing on Angel until he saw Conner which was pretty much his 'killing joke' moment. At which point he had a mental break seeing Angel with everything he took from him. I think Holtz swore to put Angel out of his misery but seeing Angel and Darla with their own child after slaughtering his was Holtz's one bad day.


	28. Chapter 27: Arms of a Stanger

Chris Redfield was taken back at the sight in front of him. First it was all the demons, then he lost track of Claire when she left with Leon, and now he's being attacked by a blond woman in purple leather. Chris was pretty sure he could have taken her down in mere moments and then the mask came off revealing it was none other then Chris' own partner Jill.

Jill threw a kick but Chris quickly dodged it and had a punch ready but couldn't bring himself to follow through. Jill smiled and kicked his arm away and kicked him at his right leg bringing him to his knees. Jill quickly hit the agent in the chest with a roundhouse kick knocking him to the floor.

Chris got to his feet with how much he's been working out he could probably punch small rocks to dust. "Come on you have to snap out of it. Remember who you are, Jill Valentine!"

The blond haired fighter stopped as something pushed free from within her, something buried for far too long. Jill ripped the top of the leather revealing a silver and red device attached to her chest. "Chris! Help!"

Chris looked at it and remembered their past at the mansion and in his case Alaska it's always the shiny things. "Jill, hang on."

Chris runs up and with help form Jill pushing it off he's able to pull the device off her chest.

Chris smiled seeing Jill but then she almost collapsed as if her brain is rebooting as Chris soon follows suit. Xander looks at Buffy for a moment and then is met with a very hard resounding fist to the face as he falls back.

Buffy looked at Xander's attacker and quickly kicked Angel in the face with a roundhouse. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Angel looked at her. "Before or after he was ripping your shirt off."

Buffy just chuckled. "Oh my god you're jealous of him again. Oh come on its only Xander."

"Gee Buff just tear that heart right out." Xander quipped as he got to his feet. Buffy doesn't feel that way for him, yeesh he gets it.

Angel looked at him awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

Xander looked at him for a moment before quickly kicking the vampire in the balls and delivering a quick sucker punch to his face as Angel hobbles over and smashes through a tombstone head first he appreciates the muscles this costume left. "I forgive you but right now I'm more scared as to who the hell I left Willow with? Which means finding out who the hell dressed as Leon?"

* * *

A man with dark blond hair opened his eyes and to his surprise saw himself sleeping with a redhead in his arms. He looks behind them tilting his head and sees their clothes. What the hell kind of weird town is this place. Bobby sends him out here to investigate trios of murdered high school girls at a frat house and make sure the demon is dead. So he buys a costume of Leon Kennedy to go incognito with the rest of the kids and ends up sleeping with a red head in a mausoleum fearing any demons might get in. He scrambles gets his pants on and grabs the phone not believing this night.

"Come on Sammy!" The man pleaded.

"Hello..." The voice on the other end said.

"Sammy! What the hell have you and Bobby dropped me into?" The man asked even for him this night has been weird.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Sam asked.

Dean Winchester rolled his eyes. "Well before or after I spent my night magically transformed into Leon Kennedy. And let me tell you something that William guy from 2 a lot scarier with an actual picture in my head."

Sam took a minute to process that. "Hmm… well at least now we know why Cas won't touch the place. You actually became a guy form Resident Evil?"

"Just get down here so you can give me a hand." Dean ordered. "If you think that's something wait till you see the mayors of this city."

Sam sighed in frustration. "I'll be down in a day or two… bye."

Dean hung up the phone and saw two guys and a blond girl waking the redhead up.

At this moment Buffy was somewhere between absolutely livid and someone has to die. How dare, someone sleep with Will and leave her in public without even her underwear. Xander and Angel had their eyes firmly on the grave of a Marti Noxon and their backs to Willow.

Xander read it over. "10-2-01 – 5-21-02 you know what you did… What does that mean?"

Angel shrugged until the boys got the all clear as they turned around.

Buffy twirled a stake with murderous glee. "So what does this guy look like?"

"You're not going to kill him." Willow replied. Truth be told she might have ran off if she woke up first.

"No killing." Buffy assured her. "I'm just going to talk to him about girls with Mr. Pointy."

Xander and Angel in a rare moment of unity uncomfortably cover up with both hands getting Buffy's idea as Dean rushes out.

"OK there's no need for that I'm right here." Dean replied.

Buffy looked at him well this is interesting. "Who the hell are you?"

"My name's Dean Winchester."

* * *

The actual Chris Redfield opened his eyes back in his world and in Africa as a quiet smile spread on his face. He knew it! No body, no death, Jill's alive.

The pilot looked at him. "Something we can get you once we reached the ground Mr. Redfield?"

"Got any Twinkies before I meet Ms. Alamar?" Chris asked.

* * *

Author Notes

Supernatural is owned by Eric Kripke.

Resident Evil is owned by Capcom.


	29. Chapter 28: About Last Night

Xander rested at the bar having a drink to himself. He half watches as his girlfriend beats most of the demonic patrons senseless. Xander smiled taking the sight in. She's just getting warmed up as the demons come up with new plans to rush her. Xander smiled seeing her roundhouse and quickly gulped. "My beer!" Xander grabbed his bottle as demons slid across the table to the floor.

The demon smiled seeing Xander laughing at his comrades getting wiped out. "You think this is funny!"

The demon took a step and Xander quickly held a seemingly six foot blade to the demon's throat with relative ease. "Yes!"

The demon stood in fear looking at this blade how in the name of god does he pick that thing off the floor and swing it so easily! "You're girlfriend is beautiful. Nice sword"

Xander smiled holding his blade yup. "It's the first sword."

The demon looked at him. "Your first sword or the actual name"

"Actual name" Xander informed him.

"Can I see it?" The demon asked.

Xander looked at him with widened eyes. "You're joking right."

"Look, after your girlfriend is done most of my brethren can fit in an ashtray just let me see your stupid sword." Xander sighed in disgust and threw the sword. Besides the ass kicking was coming as soon as a vampire slapped her in the ass.

The vampire caught it and struggled under the weight. "You know, you went right for your blade. I'm willing to bet all your real power comes from this!"

The vampire swung Xander's sword and found it now buried in the floor with its owner standing on it. Xander reached into his pocket and pulled out a contraption which transformed into a smaller sword and quickly cut the demon's head off. Xander hopped off and picked his sword up off the floor.

"So are you ready to go?" The girl asked. "We just got out of high school I don't want to stay in one place for long."

Xander smiled adding the short sword to the complete set making the whole blade. "Yeah, I'm ready to go."

Xander hopped on his motorcycle Giles' present in senior year even if he had to do all the extensive work on it. Which was not a small task for a year but he stood undeterred even adding a whole bunch to it instead of relying on Uncle Rory. It also helped that this road trip wasn't funded by him alone. His girlfriend chipped in wanting to get the hell off the hellmouth for a season. Xander pushed a button as six slots came out on the bike and he broke his first sword into its six pieces. Xander could never imagine his life like this two years ago. "You ever wonder if we had dressed differently."

"Considering how I ended up not long after it… I'd rather not think about it." She replied.

Xander kept his focus on the road but couldn't help to drift to the beginning.

* * *

Buffy looked at Xander as he entered the door to her house. She has never seen a grown man so happy to wear the color purple. Even if he dyed his hair blond and looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. "Hey you're the guy from street fighter."

"Final Fantasy" Xander corrected her. "Cloud Strife Soldier first class at your service."

Buffy rolled her eyes he really is obsessed with that game isn't he. "Haven't you beaten that thing yet?"

"Haven't even got off the first disc." Xander informed her. "Damn thing keeps turning my guys to stone."

Buffy nodded like she understood. "Yeah, well wait to you see…" They both turn to the steps and see Willow. "Casper"

* * *

Cloud Strife looked around and what the hell is going on. One minute he has Tifa's legs wrapped around his waist and now he's here.

"Cloud"

Cloud turned hearing the voice and speaking of the black haired fighter. "Tifa, what's going on?"

Tifa shrugged not having the slightest idea. "Don't ask me I'm just thankful I have clothes on right now."

The two look down the block seeing a little kid come running with demons chasing him down. Cloud takes out his sword and goes running he might not be SOLDIER but he's still a hell of a fighter.

The kid watched Cloud take out his sword and panicked realizing he doesn't know. "No! They're still my friends."

Tifa looked to Cloud who put his sword away and punched one of the demons in the face as Tifa jumped in the air and heard the lovely sound of something cracking when her feet hit their skulls knocking them out. Tifa landed on her feet as she and Cloud looked at the three unconscious demons. They see a car pull up and the kid hugs his father from the looks of it.

The father looks up at his son's saviors. "Thank you, but you two might want to get indoors. It's all over the news there's a gas leak in town. It's what's causing all this madness. Thank you"

Tifa and Cloud nod in agreement to avoid the craziness for now as the two from Nibelham quickly break into an old abandoned house and moved a dresser to brace door since Cloud cut the lock.

Cloud looked at it and shrugged. "That should hold for tonight… though I'd rather be out there."

Tifa looked at him. "You don't think I want get back to the kids either? God knows what Denzel and Marlene are up to. But you have Jenova cells in you Cloud. You saw what that gas did to a kid, who knows what it would do to you or make."

Cloud nodded in agreement but he's sure not happy about it. Although he certainly doesn't want to hurt any innocent people. "So what now? Just wait till the gas leak passes."

Tifa smiled she could think of a thing or two since Cloud has finally put his demons behind him.

* * *

Xander woke up the next morning and saw nothing but a piece of paper next to his bed. Xander opened the letter and all it said was 'thank you… maybe, weird night'.

Xander wasted no time and gathered up his clothes and headed for school intending to use the shower to wipe the blond from his head. Once he's finished there he heads to the library finding Giles in there with Buffy, Willow, and Cordy.

Buffy looked at Xander. "Where have you been all night?"

Xander looked at her. "Saving a kid and then private… stuff."

"What kind of private stuff?" Buffy asked.

Xander scratched his head trying to figure out how the hell to explain this. "Me not Cloud met up with some girl not Tifa."

Buffy looked at it and realized the situation he meant. "Ew… no offense but that must be weird. Considering you were essentially a prisoner."

"Yes… it was horrible." Xander replied half heartedly.

Giles' eyes widened getting the complete picture. "Oh"

Cordy's eyes widened reaching the same conclusion. "Oh"

Everyone looked at Willow who shrugged. "I don't have to say oh, I already figured it out Xander and some girl had sex."

"So you didn't go dressed as Tifa Will?" Xander asked.

Willow shakes her head. "If I was going to match you I would have went as Aeris. Even after she died I still say those two were meant for each other."

Xander shakes his head no wonder she likes Buffy with Angel. Death is just a sweet thing to her. "Nah Tifa is more mature, and they have the whole childhood past thing working them."

Willow glared at him not believing he went there. There are so many reasons she should kick his ass right now. "Sorry, but not me."

Xander looked at Buffy. "Did you realize the noble woman was a joke and dressed as a girl that could actually fight?"

"I can only wish." Buffy informed him. Wishing she had after watching helplessly and seeing herself almost get killed. That's nightmares for a long time to come.

Xander stood confused OK it wasn't Buffy, and it wasn't Willow, damn he was hoping it was one of them. Oh dear god no! He turned to Cordy. "… you didn't"

"Oh dear god no! Not even on the best day of your life dweeb." Cordy informed him bringing him back to square one as he tried to figure this out and and thought to himself. 'Who did I do on Halloween?'

* * *

**Two Months Later**

Xander was currently walking home with what has become his standard neutral face after a nothing night at the Bronze as usual. Two months later and he still hadn't found the girl who slept with him on Halloween he's starting to think he never will. Cordy tried to start something with him in Buffy's basement when the insect man attacked, at the very least it was a kiss. However Xander didn't feel anything and if he did he probably would have moaned out Tifa. Xander wonders how things have got so bad. Buffy and Angel have gone south way south. He's lost his soul and he's killing people. Cordy has been awkward around him since there were no return sparks and Willow is with van guy since he's given her the cold shoulder.

Xander looked around nothing made sense anymore. Angel is evil, Buffy is a wreck that refuses to kill him, He's in love with a girl that might not even exist and might have just been clothes on a store mannequin. Why can't he find this girl, why did fate screw Buffy over so badly, why is Angel a bloody heap on the ground… wait a minute?

Xander back tracked and kicked Angel around and saw most of the blood came from his nose and mouth. Xander smiled taking out his broadsword this should make things much easier. Xander was cut off by a racket further in the ally as he went to investigate. He couldn't hear anything but he knows someone was here not that long ago. Xander looks over to the left and sees it lead into the street. Well maybe he can figure out a way to chain up Angel and have a soul shoved back into him.

Xander goes back for Angel as a girl looks at him from the right before quietly moving to the left an out of the alley. He'd love to call Buffy but she's dealing with a werewolf. He picks up a rock and cracks Angel in the head to ensure he stays down. Xander looked at him he could stake him in two seconds flat but he thinks Buffy should be the one to do it.

* * *

**One Week Later**

Xander looked at her. He shouldn't be doing this but he's desperate hell last night thanks to a repenting Ms. Calendar a recently resouled Angel caught him stalking the abandoned house he and the Tifa girl slept in but on the bright side of breaking and entering he found a ring that Cloud's memories showed is hers. He asked Angel about the girl but he said it's all a blurry beating thanks to the concussion she gave him. Xander didn't think he could do anything with the ring that would help but after today's English report he might just have a trick up his sleeve.

Xander smiled seeing his window as the blond girl comes downstairs. "Amy, you're a witch."

Amy looked at him as her eyes lit up it might have been her mom but he still tired to attack her before. "No, that was my mom."

Xander nodded and looked right at her. "Not the mojo on Ms. Beakley."

"W-w-what mojo?" Amy asked.

Xander looked at her and bluntly said. "Fine, I can talk to Giles."

"That's not even." Amy's voice rose by the second. "That is so mean."

Xander glared right back. "Blackmail is such an ugly word."

"I didn't say blackmail." Amy Replied.

Xander nodded. "No, but I'm about to blackmail you."

"W-w-why?" Amy asked nervously.

Xander looked at her oh man he didn't pull this on the girl did he?. "Amy… were you Tifa for Halloween?"

"What… no!" Amy replied. "I went as the scariest thing possible… my mom with a wig from Ethan's taught me a lot of powerful magic."

Xander rolled his eyes and held up the ring. "Can you do a locator spell to find the owner of this ring or not?"

Amy looked at the ring and had a clear thought. "I don't need to. I know whose ring this is because I was there when she brought it."

Xander smiled grateful as she gave him the name. "OK, Amy please be careful the magics drove your mom insane you're the last person who should be using it. Also I told Buffy so expect a lecture from Giles."

"Thanks for the heads up." Amy replied and watched watched him leave for class where he'll find her.

* * *

The next class left Xander sitting there like an idiot. Two months… he's been looking for this girl for two months… and she's been sitting literally right in front of him the whole time. A half hour into class Xander writes on a piece of paper we need to talk and quickly folds it into a square and hands it to her. Xander waits a moment as she writes something down and passes it back to him. Xander opens the letter and sees it reads broom closet fifteen minutes.

* * *

Xander leaned against the wall waiting patiently in the broom closet. He heard the door open and smiled seeing a brown haired girl come in. Xander looked at her. The girl looked at him and wow this is awkward.

"So what did you want to talk about?" The girls asked.

Xander raised an eyebrow not expecting that. "I was thinking the weather, maybe some sports. What do you think?"

The girl rubbed her eyes. "Yeah, well that's complicated."

"Definitely, but why did you leave me butt naked with a card that said thank you." Xander asked. "Don't you think it would have helped to talk?"

"Talk about what?" The girl asked. "I mean I saw what our costumes did and I couldn't believe I actually did that with you and… you'd know who I was when you woke up."

Xander looked at her upset. His parents are assholes not him. "What was so bad about waking up with me? I can tell you there's a lot worse to wake up with in Sunnydale!"

"Because I liked you!" The girl finally admitted. "I got dressed like that hoping I'd be able to get your eyes off Buffy after the Bronze. Not have sex with you on Halloween night. It's kind of embarrassing."

Xander sighed in frustration this girl must not be used to the weirdness like he is. "That wasn't really us you know. That was just Mr. & Mrs. Strife having a wedded night of fun." Xander got the gears cooking in his brain as an idea came together. "You know its Valentine's Day and the Bronze is having a thing…"

"You want to go out on a date… seems kind of backwards doesn't it?" She asked.

Xander shakes his head she's cute she likes video games and unlike Buffy she's actually interested in him. "How about we call a mulligan on Halloween and start completely over. I'll buy flowers and everything the whole nine yards."

The girl looked at his goofy smile it's why she liked him in the first place and the night could be a good time. "OK, it sounds like fun. But we're not going anywhere what we did on Halloween, especially on a first date."

"Agreed" Xander replied. "And since I said complete mulligan." He holds out his hand and smiled. "Xander Harris"

The girl chuckled in disbelief but smiled and shook it. "Theresa Klusmeyer"

Theresa smiled walking out of the broom closet with him. "So did you really start a knife fight at the mall?"

"I had to omnislash a demonic smurf to cut him to pieces... And I just told you about demons didn't I?" Xander asked.

"I already know." Theresa assured him. "I beat a vampire senseless last week when he tried that mysterious guy with a rose bit."

Xander smiled definitely the perfect girl for him. She's a fighter, she likes video games, and she beat the crap out of Angel when he tried to eat her. Two months is more than worth spending finding a girl like her.

* * *

Back in the present Xander rode with Theresa resting on his back on the motorcycle snuggled in close. She's starting UC Sunnydale in the fall but for now they're just enjoying the Summer abroad. Two years later and he can still be forever thankful for the Halloween that introduced him to her.

"Hey look out!" Xander eyes widened as he pushed a button and six swords showed themselves in his motorcycle as he pulled one out and quickly decapitated a vampire on a motorcycle that chased them from the bar.

Xander stopped the bike and looked at Theresa. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, where were you." Theresa asked.

Xander shrugged and replied. "Thinking back to Halloween."

Theresa smiled and pushed him off the bike as Xander got behind her. It was their rule. If someone was dosing off or day dreaming the other one rode. "There's hotel two miles that way. Think you can behave till then."

Xander wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck a couple times before suddenly stopping to tease her. "I'll do my best."

Theresa rode a little faster over the speed limit besides cops seem to be just as bad in Cleveland as they do in Sunnydale for some reason.

* * *

Author's Notes

Final Fantasy VII is owned by Square Enix


	30. Chapter 29: Forget the Fourth

A man in red and black walked around with a pure smile not that you could see it. But here he is in the world of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He's not sure who dressed as him but hey he can do some good here. Maybe even impress the Bea Arthur of this world with his bravery. Add to that he can shoot someone, and all is fun with that. He walks into the dorm of the medical school and finds what he's looking for as he knocks on the door waiting for the man to open the door.

The man in red and black smiled seeing the guy in the doorway. "There you are, old Ben… something, you old so and so, you good old… OH GOD YOU WERE A DULL CHARACTER! No wonder why they made you Glory instead of Xander you had nothing going for you! Neighbor Dan from Charmed has more character development then you."

Ben looked at the guy with curiosity. "Um, can I help you?"

The man in red shook his head. "Nah, I'm just here for Halloween… and this." He takes out a hand gun and promptly starts shooting Ben while shouting. "Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang." The masked man stopped and almost sounded like he could cry. "I love my work." He rubs at his eyes. "It's so beautiful."

* * *

The man in red and black was walking through Sunnydale a smile glued to his face that's Maggie Walsh, Warren Mears and now Ben. "Oh man I can't wait for the next one. I'm gonna use my sword and when I pull it out I'm totally gonna say snik… uh oh."

* * *

The ghost of Willow was walking with worthless Buffy and Soldier Xander this night can't get any worse. They just need to get to Buffy's house. She turns around and sees a red and black clad ninja being chased by a whole army of cloaked... seemingly demons suffering from leprosy.

"Hey Scoobies, I think I lost the shire!" The man in red and black shouted while running by the demons in pursuit after.

Willow turned to Xander any other day she'd say she's nuts but she just wants to make sure. "You just saw Deadpool being chased by a whole load of demons right?"

Xander nodded. "Yes ma'am, should we help him?"

"No, he heals and we have our own problems." Willow insured him.

* * *

Deadpool kept running come on he's almost there. "Am I going to make it, the tension is killing me." Deadpool smiled seeing the horde still chasing him. He turned left and ran into the factory and immediately Spike's vampires attacked their demonic intruders as Deadpool ran for the window and hopped out. He smiled and pulled a belt of grenades off his shoulder pulling the pin on one as he threw it into the building. "Pineapple surprise!"

The explosion took out the factory, Drusilla, her vampires, and the hobbit demons as blood and limbs poured down to the street. "It's raining limbs, isn't that special!"

* * *

Richard Wilkins walked into his office Allen seemed like he was at the end of his rope from his phone call. Chaos magic not something needed in his town since he relies on order. Wilkins has seen a lot of weird things in his hundred plus years. Nothing could have prepared him for this. He saw a man naked with a red and black mask along with four naked identical blond girls on the desk with him grinding their asses into it getting their germs all over it.

"What in the name of all that is holy… you don't fornicate in city hall!"

Deadpool pointed at the mayor in perpetual glee. "Oh my god! You really are like the Hulk Hogan of evil. Say your prayers eat your vitamins and then I'll eat your soul brother. What you gonna do when Ward Cleaver Jr. runs wild on you!"

The mayor looked at the sight still confused. "Who are you, who are they?"

"Well for me, I'm your ever friendly merc with the mouth Deadpool. And these lovelies are Pete's greatest failure, Norm's booty call, Pete's true love, and last not but not least Carnage, but I call them Gwen one through four for short."

Wilkins looked at them the anger clear in his face. "If you think you can come in here and…"

Deadpool held up two machine guns and each Gwen held a desert eagle to the mayor. "And this will make five for seven. Not bad since I love Willow and I can't find Ghost Rider to give The First penance stare. You know it's a badass guy with a skull that's on fire you figure someone would pick him. I tell you kids these days..."

The mayor backed up and realized he didn't walk into a single person on his way here, are all his vampires dead… uh oh. "Now, we can negotiate. I run this city you want blonds more desks to spill your disgusting germs all over just let me know. I see no reason to resort to violence."

Deadpool smiled under his mask. "OK, but I have two requests. Number one... Pete never finds out about the Gwens he's a fun loving guy and then you piss him off and then suddenly his great responsibility is breaking his spider foot off in your ass. Just ask Normy and Willy."

"And the other?" Wilkins asked.

Deadpool looked at him and said simply. "Yellow boxes"

"What?" Wilkins asked.

"I want my yellow boxes." Deadpool repeated as he broke down and started to cry. "I want my yellow boxes. You can't do that on this website, you can't even type out the website's name and you can't even use yellow texts, it's so damn depressing, I miss my babies. Oh well by now Giles foot is probably somewhere near Ethan's colon so this should be over soon. Daddy's coming home kiddies."

Wilkins looked at him. What the hell is wrong with this guy. "Well I can't do that."

"I know." Deadpool assured him.

Gwen 3 lowered her gun. "Well you tried. No reason to be violent."

Wilkins breathed a sigh of relief as all the Gwens and even Deadpool lowered their weapons.

Deadpool smiled and everyone aimed again. "She's just kidding! Of course this **has** to **get violent! **Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang."

* * *

Oz woke up the next day to two girls spooning in front of him and two behind him sandwiching him in. He turns around and sees a taco stand as all of last night goes through his head, killing the big bads play through his head and he still don't know where these Gwens came from but at least Willow, Xander and Buffy will have a much easier life now. Only how does he explain these four to Willow if he wants to go out with her. "Huh"

* * *

Author's Notes

Deadpool is owned by Marvel.


	31. Chapter 30: Old Wounds

Willow stood there looking at Buffy for the love of god she hopes she never snaps out this state she's in. Well maybe one day but not any time soon after what she did ten minutes ago. Willow looked at the slayer she still hasn't said a word since the spell was broken. She just keeps herself wrapped around Xander and held her left breast when Angel tried to talk to her. And dear god did that end disastrously.

Xander turned to Willow concern clear in his eyes. "Willow, what are we going to do? How did this happen?"

"I don't know." Willow answered as she tried to get near them but Buffy kicked her in the shin stopping her from reaching him.

Xander looked at his now numbing arm from Buffy's grip. She's almost like a child. For almost a year he wished she would play arm candy with him… this wasn't what he had in mind.

* * *

**6 Hours earlier. **

Buffy looked through the shelves mandatory costume what the hell is Snyder's problem. She saw Willow coming with a smile holding her costume. "So what are you getting?"

Willow held up a Boo! And Buffy did everything she could not to groan. "Will!"

"Not spooky enough?" Willow asked.

You're never going to get noticed if you keep hiding, you're missing the point of Halloween." Buffy answered.

Willow smiled. "Free Candy"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "It's come as you aren't night a perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild without repercussions."

Willow thought Buffy's words over maybe something not that sexy. "Hey how about this?"

Buffy looked over the noblewoman's dress. Damn now she kind of wants it but she guesses its better then a ghost. "That will work… for now."

Willow looked at her. "Buffy, are you OK?"

Buffy nodded. "I kind of want something like that dress to give Angel a blast from the past."

Willow shook her head in disagreement. "I don't think that's the way to do it."

Buffy looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he went with Darla who probably dressed in something like that and according to the books he was roaming so those kind of girls probably didn't hold his attention for long as a human. And after he became a vampire they were probably just food." Willow looked up and saw a suit of armor designed for a girl. "How about that?"

Buffy looked at it. Seems more like Willow considering it's a suit of armor and a sword. But on the other hand the short dress will show off her legs and all that slayer should be put to good. "You want me to be a knight?"

Willow shrugged. "Darla was vampire, you're a slayer, its becoming obvious Angel loves his amazons."

Buffy thought about it seeing her point. "But last night… with Cordelia"

Willow just made shush sound with her mouth. "You're the one he wants if you were outside the frat house you'd have seen it."

Buffy smiled cheering up at her best friend's words. "Now we buy these costumes and make Xander drool for ditching us on Snyder."

* * *

Buffy took a breath as her sword became real like the rest of her armor. Well the good news is she's out of the red world. Bad news there is still demons all over. Buffy looked around and panicked oh god is she the only one left. "GRIFFITH, JEAUDEAU, PIPPEN, CROKUS!" She fell to her knees before weakly muttering. "Guts"

"Buffy!"

Buffy turned around and saw someone run up and try to grab her but she quickly moved out of the way and punched him in the stomach.

Xander fell to his knees holding his stomach not the reaction he was expecting. He looked at Buffy covered in armor and weakly muttered. "Buffy…" He regained the ability to speak and shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

Buffy looked into Xander's eyes and was taken back they're so familiar. "You tried to attack me."

"No I didn't!" Xander shouted. "Crazy ass bitch!" To his own regret she still has slayers strength and that just came out. This is going to end badly.

Buffy glared at him under her armor. "I am the female commander of the band of the hawk. I will not tolerate this."

Xander's eyes widened female commander? "Whoever you are my lady, please remove your helmet."

Buffy did as asked and removed her helmet seeing this might be a bit of mistaken identity. Once the helmet is gone Xander sees a beautiful shorter, slender woman with dark skin, brown eyes and short black hair.

"Aw crap! You really are Lady Casca!" Xander replied.

Casca nodded. "So where am I?"

Xander looked at her not sure what to say. "Yeah just follow me and try not to think of the eclipse."

The two heard a scream and Xander ran over to it followed by Casca as she took out her sword. Xander quickly threw off the demon from a noble girl and kicked him in the head knocking the demon out cold. "I kicked a demon in the head… might have been a little kid… but still cool."

Casca bent down and lowered the girl's dress. Most women can't stand showing leg in public she looks up to the face and grumbles under breath. Casca looks at the face and bit her lip damn it it's her. "Princess Charlotte"

Charlotte looked at one of her saviors she knows her she's one of Griffith's warriors. "Lady Knight, is Griffith here?"

Casca shakes her head. "No, and I don't know if he's even still alive."

Charlotte nodded in sad acceptance. "So what now?"

Xander thought it over maybe he should have picked up a Guts costume seeing this mess. "Let's just get indoors for now it will be safer there."

* * *

Xander led the two ladies of Berserk inside Buffy's house for all the good it will do him. If Casca has the boob brand on her they're screwed. He sat Charlotte down on the couch and took Casca into the kitchen. Please don't cut his head off for this one. "This is going to sound weird but do you have any cuts or tattoos?"

Casca looked at him. "I didn't get hurt out there."

Xander shakes his head. "No, I mean like… ever." Xander awkwardly put his fingers on his chest and pointed. "I mean like around… here?"

Casca's eyes widen and the next thing Xander is met with is another fist to the face as he fell to the floor. "You bastard!"

Xander held his head. "I'm not a bastard damn it. If you were in a red world with demons and got a mark on your chest we have a problem."

Casca rolled her eyes being reminded of that nightmare but honestly she was scared so she doesn't remember. Xander was going for the living room until he heard armor fall to the floor in a rattle. He turned around to the sight of Casca pulling off her shirt exposing her chest to him.

Xander's eyes widened seeing her embarrassingly cover up. She's beautiful, Buffy is going to skin him alive but she's beautiful. Xander quickly turned his head. "Ok thank you for checking… gonna avoid my eyes now."

"How are you supposed to know what you're looking for if you don't look?" Casca asked.

"Is there a tattoo that looks like a person with a stick shoved up his ass above your left breast?" Xander asked.

Casca looked down and nothing. "No."

"Then you're fine, you don't have the brand of sacrifice now get dressed." Xander ordered heading into the other room.

Casca smiled until she heard someone banging on the door.

"LET ME IN! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Casca grabbed her sword and opened the door seeing a girl dressed like a cat with widened eyes. Casca pulled her in and cut the demon slashing at her across the face with her sword scaring it away. "Are you alright?"

Cordelia quietly nodded seeing someone she did not recognize in the house as she went to talk to Xander. "OK, why is there a half naked Jamaican woman in Buffy's house?"

"It's complicated… and how do you know this is Buffy's house and why aren't you purring around my leg or scratching at it."

"Are you on meth! What is your deal?" Cordy asked.

Xander looked at her confused. "Wait you remember everything you remember being Cordelia?"

"Yeah, lucky me." Cordy answered. "Why is everyone going crazy anymore?"

Xander held his head so not in the mood for this. "Yeah well, could you watch lady knight and lady useless while I find Giles and try to figure out what the hell is going on?"

Cordy nodded why not. "What am I supposed to do with them?"

"I don't know, show them the miracles of TV." Xander suggested as he ran out.

* * *

Xander ran to the scoobies in the middle of the street. All he said was Ethan's he doesn't understand why that sent Giles on the warpath. He also doesn't understand what Willow is doing here and why what used to be Larry is on the floor with a sword in his stomach. "What wha wha… what is this!"

Casca looked at him. "He was attacking Charlotte I didn't have a choice. The princess got spooked by Angel's other face."

"Well wheres An… oh." He would stake the vampire if he wasn't fighting Spike and he knew Casca would do this but Angel would have stopped her if he had a choice. "OK, everyone in doors."

The group ran in and Xander was quickly held back by demons with Angel, Cordy and Willow leaving Casca to fight alone.

Spike smiled with a curious she smells like Buffy but she sure don't look like her. "You know you remind me of Nikki."

Casca just made a horizontal slash with her sword daring him on.

Spike happily picked up a steel stick with a sharpened end. "Last time around you took me on and lost slayer. "

Casca took stood ready and when Spike swung she dodged it quickly cut into his side as Spike wobbled back and put a hand to his side feeling the blood and smiled almost like he's saying 'is that it'. "What the hell, that wound should be mortal."

Spike smirked and looked at the knight. "You can't kill me lady I'm an Immor…"

"Cut his head off!" Xander and Angel shouted in unison.

Spike rolled his eyes when he's done with her they're next. "Right"

Xander could only watch in awe as Casca and Spike crossed metals seeing the sparks come off their weapons from each deflected blow. Xander smiled seeing Casca cut Spike across the face giving him a scar under his good eye only for Spike to return the blow going for right leg and cutting across it as Casca hobbles on one leg.

Spike smiled seeing the woman limp. "I think we're done here."

Spike rushed her and Casca quickly stabbed her sword to the ground and used it as a vault flipping behind Spike. As soon as Casca landed she made one quick horizontal swipe across Spike's face as the demon seemed to freeze in place.

Xander watched nervously until glorious red rained down on Spike's face as he fell to his knees and half his head fell off backwards and his body turned to dust. Casca dropped the sword which quickly became a toy.

* * *

Willow threw off the wig next year she's going as a ghost she don't care what Buffy says. "Thank god that's over, I never felt so pathetic in my life."

Xander smiled in relief until he was nearly bowled over by Angel on his way to Buffy.

Buffy was back to her usual light skin but her eyes seemed wider more scared and childlike.

Angel simply grabbed her and hugged her thanking god she's back to normal. "You alright."

What Angel got was an unexpected reaction to Buffy struggling to break free before outright biting him in the arm caused him to let her go as she ran over to Cordy Xander and Willow and clung to Xander.

Angel tried to grab her arm and before most people could even react Buffy pulled a stake out of Xander's pocket and pierced him in the heart. Angel could only look at the woman he loved and felt betrayed at his last thought. "Buffy?" He exploded into dust right then at that moment.

Buffy rested against Xander's arm. The teenager too in shock to react. Willow was trying to regain composure there has to be something they can do. Giles, they need Giles.

Willow looked at Cordelia. "Could you get the kids home we need to take Buffy to Giles."

"Of course." Cordelia assured them while wondering how Buffy is going to react when she finds out she killed Angel and she's bleeding. "Guys, Buffy's boob is bleeding."

Xander looked down and saw the trail of blood of course she wouldn't want Angel he was hurting her. But how did she get the brand? Casca didn't have it. "Let's just get her to Giles before demons sense her. It's a demonic dinner bell so we have to go now."

* * *

Back in the present Xander was walking Buffy to the library with Willow. Willow was asking since he seemed to see the show from what she was told. "Do you have any idea why she's acting like this?"

Xander shakes his head. "No, she never acted like this on the show…"

"Well how did it end?" Willow asked.

Xander thought on it. "The demons win. The guy who was kind of a douche became full on douche he sacrificed everyone to demons. Everyone you've grown to care about gets raped, eaten or killed, I cry manly tears, fuck you, the end."

Willow looked at him. "That's not very helpful especially with Buffy being a demon magnet. I hope Giles can fix this."

"He can't."

Xander and Willow turn around in fear and see a living skeleton on a horse. A shield and sword apparent and this unreal sense of power coming from him.

Xander muttered quietly seeing this figure. "Willow, friend of yours."

The Skull knight rolls his eyes in disgust. "I can not believe you are the reborn struggler. We have a lot of work to do if you want to help your friend."

"What are you talking about?" Xander asked.

"Your life." The Skull Knight answered. Hoping his memory would return like the woman's did. "Or your old life struggler."

Xander rolled his eyes and kept walking with Willow and Buffy. "You don't know the first thing about me."

Skull Knight watched them leave and decides to screw formalities. "You love that woman, yet she loves a man that is or will become a demon at some point. You were abused by your father and that witch over there has a flirtation that won't lead to anywhere but trouble."

Xander kept walking and waved him off, yeah Willow as a witch. "Get a job as a fortune teller."

Skull Knight sighed. "You have the power to change fate."

Xander stopped in his tracks how does he know that? He saved Buffy he changed her fate. "What do you want from me?"

"Well for starters to move the woman away from the Hellmouth. A branded will only bring chaos and destruction to the hellmouth. Especially since I fear there is demon in her already strengthening the brand. I would like you struggler to train under me and maybe one day you will be able to wield your blade again."

Willow looked at this warrior nervously its obvious Xander doesn't know what he's talking about. But that was frighteningly accurate of Xander's life. "Who are they, Buffy and Xander, and what do you want with us?"

The Skull knight looked at her blank as ever. "It is a long story best saved for another day but Xander and Buffy as you call them are reincarnations of the Black Swordsman and his lover Casca. Casca was driven mad by godhand Femto and the chaos magic restored your friend's memories of the trauma. I want them to come with me so I can teach the boy to become who he was and Schierke's forest is elf land it will protect the three of you from the spirits and demons that brand calls forth. It may even help your friend regain her sanity. As for you red child Schierke wants to become your mistress."

Willow looked at him mouth opened wide. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

The Skull Knight looked at her almost staring a hole right through her. "She means take you on as an apprentice. Teach you proper witchcraft because she thinks you're gifted but could easily fall from the path. So what is your decision?"

Xander looked at him uneasy. "Can you really help Buffy?"

"She will do everything in her power to return her. As will I." Skull Knight assured them.

Xander nodded if he can save Buffy. "I'm in."

Willow gave a familiar nod. "Same here, someone has to look out for you two."

The Skull Knight took out his sword and swallowed it but it came out of his mouth as a much better sword with eyes all around it and cut the air making a portal leading into a forest. "This way and be quick about it."

Xander, Buffy, and Willow enter the portal followed by the Skull Knight. The other slayer will take over and one day all three will return to the hellmouth much more powerful and ready to continue their fight against evil.

Skull Knight frowned getting their help by Shierke using mind control magic wasn't his idea. But Flora's apprentice is right. Xander and especially Buffy now are demon magnets they didn't have time to let Xander and Willow think it through.

* * *

Author's notes

Berserk is owned by Kentaro Miura

They're never getting off the fucking boat are they?


	32. Chapter 31: And the Winner Is?

Buffy is currently on cloud 9 today. Halloween according to Giles it's the one night of the year where it's her guaranteed night off. She comes in and sees Ms. Calendar here along with Xander, Willow, and of course Giles. Buffy rested back without a care for once in her life it was good to be her.

Buffy watched as the doors to the library opened as Snyder walked in with Cordelia and a black haired guy. Hey someone's shorter then her. She sees Snyder with that evil smile on his face he has something for her as she loudly thought to herself. 'DAMN YOU MURPHY!' "Principal Snyder what can we do for you?"

"Miss Summers. Just the juvenile delinquent I've been looking for. Halloween must be a big night for you. Tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples, one pathetic cry for help after another. Well, not this year, missy.

Willow and Xander stay seated behind her. The black haired guy smiled at Willow he's been looking for a way to see her after the Eskimo getup.

Buffy looked at him not even on her night off Dawn's trick or treating in LA with her dad this is her absolute only night off. "Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight."

Snyder holds up a clipboard and pen. "The program starts at six; the children have to be back at eight."

Buffy reluctantly grabs the pen and clipboard and signs herself up. Xander thinks it's funny and smiles back at Willow. Willow has a concerned look on her face. Snyder holds pens out to Willow and Xander, too. They both look at him, begging not to be put through this. Willow gives in and takes the pen.

"Whatever happened to detention?" Xander asked upset he has no money for this.

Cordelia looked at him. "Don't bother I already tried every excuse in the book."

Xander glared at the principal before relenting and taking the pen and signing his name.

Giles and Jenny's eyes widened seeing the pens put in their faces.

Snyder smiled seeing the two any shot he can take at the librarian. "Given Mrs. Summers past I can't trust her alone unsupervised. Also I'm sure the school board would be interested in what we pay you for."

Giles glared at him before signing. Jenny following suit since she could not afford for people to find out Jenny Calendar doesn't actually exist with a background check.

Snyder looked at the list. "Good, now we just need one last adult chaperone."

Xander smiled he might be stuck in this but on the bright side he can take someone down with him. "I can get my cousin to do it… He loves kids."

Snyder handed him the sheet and Xander filled in the name ignoring Willow's jaw hitting the floor and a death glare from Buffy that would send most vampires pissing their pants in fear. Snyder took the clipboard and smiled. "Angel Harris… alright. The event is from six to eight and costumes are mandatory."

Buffy waited until Snyder was out the door before lunging at Xander. "I'm going to kill you!"

Xander pushed her off… or at least tried to. "Buffy, just trying to give you guys a normal night."

Buffy looked at him. "I'll get you back for this later. So, what are we going as?"

* * *

Buffy came into the shop with the rest of the scoobies. Giles looked at the girl behind the register well she's certainly not Ethan. "Excuse me Miss but are you the owner."

"He just went to lunch." The woman replied.

Xander looked at a blue tunic and pants with a yellow cape and boots that caught his attention. He also saw the sword and opened and closed it.

Cordy looked at it as well. "What the heck is that?"

Xander put the sword away. "That's Hiro from Lunar: Eternal Blue I don't think anyone but me has ever played that game."

"Close enough." Oz replied.

Buffy looked around the store in awe it's a lot bigger then expected. "So are we doing separate costumes or one big group thing?"

"I say group thing." Willow replied it will be easier for her to blend in.

"Same here" Xander added.

It wasn't long until everyone agreed. Buffy smiled seeing at least that's out of the way. Now she faces a new problem. "So what are we going as?"

Everyone scratched their heads trying to get an idea.

"X-Men" Oz offered.

Buffy shakes her head. "No I don't think so. All I see are yellow raincoats in that department anyway."

Xander was ready to speak until Willow said. "Say Final Fantasy VII and I'll hurt you."

Xander looked at the group awkwardly thanks to Willow and said. "…Tattooed... Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills."

Xander held his head as a series of dope slaps to the back of the head came from Buffy, Willow, Oz, Cody and… what the? "Giles what did you hit me for?"

"If Willow was willing to hit you I'm sure I was justified." Giles replied.

Cordy brought the subject back on track. "Thankfully if we did lose our minds and agreed there were only four of them anyway." Cordy saw the looks from the others. "What, I can't have layers?"

Xander shrugged. "It's just you know more about the show then I do."

"So what else?" Cordelia asked quickly changing the subject.

Willow thought on it. "Well, we can dress the guys up as the ninja turtles."

Xander looked at her. "Almost worth it to see Angel in it but no."

Jenny let out a whistle getting all of the attention on her. "Guys why don't we just go as Superheroes." Buffy is pretty much a living one anyway.

Buffy shrugged. "OK it's not like I didn't know I was getting put in leather anyway."

"Hey at least it's not Spandex." Cordy offered as Xander frowned at her.

Willow looked at it and she can do super hero… maybe. "That sounds fun."

Jenny looked up at them. "So, that leaves one question. Do we go Justice League or Avengers?"

"Avengers!" Xander, Giles, and Oz replied simultaneously.

Buffy looked at them not believing how quick that came out. "OK what do you have against the Justice League?"

"Every guy on the planet from me to your precious Angel wants to be Batman. We go as the league you'll have four Batmen on your hands." Xander explained.

Cordy looked at the three. "You have to be making this up."

Oz shook his head. "Proven fact, everyone wants to be Batman."

Cordy rolled her eyes like it really matters to her. "Whatever"

* * *

Cordy and Willow both ended up looking for costumes together. Cordy wonders if it's shallow of her that she's afraid she might have struck up an actual friendship with the girl since Kevin's death. "Well I can't believe we agreed to this. So who are you going as?"

"Maybe a fully covered super heroine?" Willow offered.

Cordy stopped and stared at her. "You've never seen a super heroine before have you? Also Halloween, it's the one night we girls should enjoy dressing as them. Sexy and wild, no consequences."

"Oh I don't do sexy and wild. Sexy and Wild on me equals spaz."

Cordelia smiled seeing something perfect well too basic for her but perfect for Willow. She hands the costue to the redhead since it was revealing but had a wig. "Then don't go as a costume they'll recognize. It's all about secret identities anyway. So why be a superhero if you don't hide who you are?"

Willow looked at it. "I just don't think it's me."

Cordy rolled her eyes. She's doing this because she cares… sort of. "Well if you don't I'll make sure me and my friends will be there to torture you from now until graduation."

"That seems kind of mean." Willow said.

Cordy smiled and handed her the costume. "Willow are you familiar with the concept of blackmail."

Willow's eyes widened. "Oh... oh" Willow replied in a mutter realizing Cordy's not leaving her much of a choice. She looks at it. Red pants and a red top showing her midriff and cleavage oh boy. She also sees the wig and on the bright side the wig will hide who she is.

Willow looked at a costume that caught her eye as she pulled it out and handed it to Cordelia. "Oh and if I'm going with brown hair it seems only fair."

Cordy looked at the suit with a smile. She's dressed as worse. "Jokes on you. black is my best color."

* * *

Xander smiled seeing this is his costume. Red Boots red gloves and the American flag for a costume Xander went to reach for it only to have it snatched by someone else. He looks up or down in this case and sees Buffy holding it. "Hey!"

Buffy smiled holding it. "Well I think this would be the perfect costume for Angel."

"He was born in Ireland." Xander pointed out.

"He's been an American longer then either of us." Buffy countered loving seeing Xander so riled up.

Xander put his hands up in frustration he should not have to justify why Angel shouldn't be Captain America. "He's the scourge of Europe!"

"And now he's a good guy." Buffy pointed out.

Xander glared at her before letting up. "This is because I signed him up isn't it."

"Duh" Buffy replied taking Xander's first costume choice for Angel.

Xander watched her leave but got an idea as OZ walked up to the two. "Hey, Buffy if you're sending Angel as Cap. You should go as his girlfriend. I mean you're already blond anyway."

Buffy smiled and took the costume. "Thanks Xander, that's nice of you." With that Buffy went to catch up with Oz and Willow.

Oz looked at him confused for a minute when he saw Buffy's costume. "Were those two ever actually a thing?"

"I don't know." Xander replied. "You gotta look at it this way. I just got Buffy to spend the night in black spandex."

"Noble of you." Oz said.

Xander shrugged. "I think so."

Oz looked to Willow. "So the red headed Eskimo what's her story?"

Xander looked up for a moment and realized. "Oh, that's Willow." He looked at Oz oh hell no. Xander went through the costumes and he found what he was looking for. He doesn't remember black being part of the costume though? Well the tag says the name so there it is. "Well… that's too small for me."

Oz looked at it and that will work for him never heard of the guy though. "Speak for yourself. Never dyed my hair white before."

Xander looked at him. "Really, because I saw it pink a couple weeks ago."

"It's October, charity gig for a good cause." Oz replied.

Xander slapped his own head remembering October, damn decent of him, great, now he feels bad because of the costume, why him.

Oz looked up. "How about this for you?"

Xander looked up and smiled seeing the red and gold. "The town drunk! That would have been perfect for Angel but I can make due with it."

* * *

Cordy and Buffy both got dressed in Buffy's room Willow was in the bathroom too shy to come out.

Buffy looked in the mirror and wow. "So, how do I look?"

Cordy looked her over and just gave a wave off. "Like you're about to go swimming in a black bathing suit with a lightning bolt on it and a little mask, how about me?"

Buffy looked her over it was a black combat suit with a pair of toy guns. The black clinging to her like a second skin. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you're about to go patrolling."

"I'm still cute with red hair right?" Cordy asked and Buffy nodded. Cordy got another idea looking at the bathroom. "On 3."

"3" Buffy replied as both girls went into the bathroom dragging Willow downstairs.

"Wait I can't." Willow ordered.

"You can." Buffy assured her going down the steps.

"See you are." Cordy added as they heard a knock on the door.

Buffy smiled and opened the door. Xander smiled seeing her. He was right she's an incredible looking Ms. Marvel. Buffy looked at Xander his head was showing with the helmet in his hands he's Iron Man not much challenge there. Buffy looked to Oz and saw a light blue and black bodysuit with white hair and fingerless gloves she has no idea who he is.

Cordy looked at Oz and simply asked. "Why did you dress up as Willow's costume's brother?"

Oz glared at Xander but a knock on the door saved Xander and he opened the door seeing Giles and Jenny in lab coats.

"I thought we agreed on Avengers." Xander complained.

Giles and Ms. Calendar each gave him a little plastic ID card.

"We wanted to get through the night with as little trouble as possible." Giles explained.

Xander read the cards and laughed Bruce Banner and Betty Ross. "OK… Avengers… let's just get this over with."

"Here, here" Cordelia said leading the group. Xander looked at her in that skintight black suit... bad thoughts she's the devil.

* * *

Steve Rogers was the first one to come to in this unbelievable mess. He never thought he'd see a day where monsters roam the street freely. He threw his Vibranium shield and knocked a demon out cold scaring off everyone else. He looks to the sky and sees Iron Man coming down. Well at least he's not the only one.

Tony came down with a clang of his suit. He thought he got rid of this one years ago. "Captain any idea what's going on? One moment I'm out the suit f…finishing my calendar and next thing I know I'm in it... in California?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm in the same situation. Well hopefully you can get back to planning Stark industries calendar year in no time."

Tony nodded. He'll call Ms. December that for now. "You think anyone else is here?"

Steve looked around and spotted what seemed like Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch in am embrace. "Two more right th… what the fuck are they doing!"

Tony turned his head. "Cap. Using like that, what would the kids think?" He now sees the sight of Pietro Maximoff deeply kissing his sister Wanda Maximoff in something Cinemax would show at night. "What the fuck! Wow, OK I knew being Magneto's children would screw them up… but... I never thought that badly." Tony took off his helmet he's honestly afraid of throwing up in it and drowning.

"Oh good I thought I was here alone." They all look up and see Carol Danvers Ms. Marvel in the sky.

Carol looked at Tony he looks pale. "Cap, what's wrong with Stark he looks like he saw a ghost?"

Steve tried to talk but sadly the words just wouldn't come out. When he realized he just couldn't say it out loud he tilted Carol's head who simply shrieked. "Oh my god! What are they doing!"

Carol quickly flew over and pulled Pietro off his sister. "What the hell are you two doing? Make us sick."

Pietro shrugged not seeing what he's doing wrong seeing Captain America, Iron Man, and Carol, they all know already. "What? What did we do?"

Carol threw her hands up in disgust. "I can't, I got nothing."

Steve decided to play a voice of reason. "Pietro, Wanda look around we don't have time for personal affairs."

The twins look around and see the situation wow OK this is very bad. Wanda nodded and weakly said. "Sorry Captain."

Steve looked at Pietro. "Can you run around the city see who else you can find?"

Pietro gave a salute before running off. In moments the team sees Black Widow appear followed by Betty Ross and finally…

Wanda's eyes widened in fear and usef her powers to throw a bench at the man seeing the name tag.

Tony looked and blasted the bench before it hit Hulk. He turned to Wanda and stared at her she's usually much calmer of the two. "Why did you try to attack Hulk?"

"I don't know? How about he eats people when he gets free." Wanda pointed out.

Natasha and Betty's eyes widen as Betty turned to Bruce dumbfounded. "Bruce!"

Bruce Banner himself was stunned at that allegation Thunderbolt threw every excuse he had to go after the Hulk but that wasn't ever one of them. "That…that's disgusting." He turned and Betty backed up a little nervous. "Betty, I can't believe I have to say this but you know me. I don't eat people. And Natasha all of New York me or the other guy didn't eat a single person… heck I didn't even kill Loki and we both know that crazy god had it coming."

Natasha shrugged seeing he had a point all the bodies were recovered from the Tessaract invasion of New York.

Pietro looked around and thought it through. "Anyone else getting the feeling we're not all from the same world."

"Yes"

"Yes"

"Yes"

"Yes"

"What was your first clue?"

Steve let out a whistle to get control. "Alright, now come on we need to figure this out so we can get everyone back into their own world because honestly the twins freak me out."

Steve heard a slow clap and turned around seeing a peroxide blond Billy Idol. "Well poof wasn't that the dramatic speech."

"Cane we help you?" Steve asked.

Spike looked at Captain America aka Angel man why couldn't he bring a video camera for this. "You can give the blond and sod off gramps."

Carol looked at the blond man that seemed to be leading an army of demons. "What do you want me for?"

Spike smiled oh this is priceless. Slayer and her friends and no one even seemed to remember who they really are. He quickly tagged Captain America with a knee to the stomach only to be knocked down by a blast to the stomach shredding his jacket with a hole and burn mark. "Oy, I loved this jacket."

Spike got too his feet and saw Giles standing between them. "Oh watcher trying to protect his slayer, kill them all save the slayer for me."

Steve's eyes rose. "Dr. Banner now might be a good time to get angry."

Bruce let out a smile. "As I told you in our world Captain. I'm always angry."

Spike swung and too his surprise Giles caught his fist as he grew multiple feet and his skin turned green leaving him in nothing but pants. Spike was easily hoisted up by the Hulk's hands as he slammed him into the floor repeatedly.

Iron Man blasted two in the stomach and started floating up leading several of them away. Betty looked at Bruce slamming the now vampire from the look on his face to the ground. Bruce isn't going to like this. She growled in frustration and punched a demon so hard it sailed into a car denting it around him as her body grew and her skin turned red. She let out a familiar roar and joined the Hulk in smashing the demons.

Natasha looked at the sight she wasn't expecting that. Betty is from her world and she's far away from Bruce at all times thanks to her father so seeing the two Hulks together again should be interesting. The manipulative bastard of a father even tried to get Abomination recruited for the Avengers blaming Harlem on the Hulk. "I didn't know Betty could still do that?"

The Avengers fought and chased off the army of demons the horde fleeing when Spike finally dusts and a couple of their own falls.

Pietro catches his breath and sees the looks Green hulk and Red Hulk are giving each other. Oh this isn't good. "Are they going to?"

Tony made the obvious statement. "Alright, let's get out of here before my suit records a Hulk sex tape. Besides according to police reports these are all over the city anyway."

They all split into pairs and head their separate ways leaving the Hulks no one is stupid enough to cock block the Hulk.

* * *

Tony and Natasha were walking down the block. With demons running in fear of them now idle chit chat seems like a way to go. "So is there a me in your world?"

Natasha nodded easily enough.

"Is he a jolly agent of SHIELD?" Tony asked. "Drunk, high, married to Wasp, married to Veronica... married to Rhodey? You gotta give me something here."

"Dating Pepper, sober." Natasha informed him.

"I hate him already." Tony replied while blasting a demon, son of a bitch stole Hogan's wife. "So She Hulk is red in your world, apparently that's a thing for your Jennifer."

Natasha stopped and looked at him. "That was Betty Ross. She got sick fast from some form of rare blood poisoning and old Thunderbolt used Bruce's blood to cure her as a last resort."

"So why is she red instead of jolly green?" Tony asked.

Natasha saw a demon chasing a girl and quickly shot it in the knee. "Because he was scared when I fell behind schedule obtaining Banner. He used synthetic blood confiscated from Samuel Sterns. However a nice trade off from using the synthetic blood, the Hulk is completely under her control. She doesn't even have to stay angry like Bruce does."

"It's a crazy little Multiverse we live in." Tony quipped and that's ignoring earth 2491. Damn Zombies.

* * *

The Avengers spent all night protecting the townspeople from these monsters though they had to kill a couple they saved a lot more. Once the Sun rose the spell that was set for Halloween came to an end naturally giving Ethan plenty of time to flee from the jolly green ripper.

Buffy was the first to regain control of her body she swears on whatever slayers believe in she's going to kill Xander for this one and nothing can change her mind on it. She sees her boyfriend looking at the sun and her eyes rise in fear. That costume doesn't show a lot of skin but it's still a vampire at sunrise. "Oh god Angel!"

Angel put his arms out and stopped her. "It's OK." He's not sure how he feels but he's fine. Never better no blood hunger no nothing. "I'm human but I'm powerful at the same time."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Oh my god! It was the Super Soldier Serum. It has regenerative powers in it, it must have rebuilt your heart."

Angel nodded in agreement. "I think so… and I am so hungry! for food."

Buffy smiled. "We'll stop by home for real food... Did you get shorter from Halloween?"

Angel looked getting over his own current condition and saw Buffy floating six inches in the air. "Not exactly."

Buffy looked down and smiled. "Oh, I guess Cap wasn't the only one to leave something behind." She floated down into Angel's arms and for the first time felt optimistic about being a Slayer. If this happened to everyone she'll have a whole army of heroes to fight right by her side. The two shared a deep passionate kiss both excited for what the future might bring.

* * *

Willow opened her eyes feeling a tender kiss from Oz. What the hell was that? That was brother and sister hot and heavy. Oz stopped as he regained control of his body. Oz looked at Willow well this is awkward.

Oz looked at her confused. "I'm kind of thinking we shouldn't be doing this anymore."

Willow thought it over remaining silent. On one hand Oz isn't Xander. But even dressed like this Xander barely acknowledged her. So she can keep waiting for Xander to open his eyes and see the hottie within her as Buffy says or she can take a chance and have something real with Oz. Willow grabbed both sides of Oz's face. "Just one thing first."

She quickly peeled her brown hair off her head letting her natural red show. She kissed him once and simply said. "Breakfast"

Oz nodded and smiled as the two started walking talking about Animal Crackers.

* * *

Giles opened his eyes and something's wrong here. He opens his eyes enough to see he's spooning a demon in red… no wait it's Jenny.

Jenny opened her eyes and she wasn't expecting that. "You know how to show a girl a good time." She concentrates and in very little time she is back to her old self.

Giles got to his feet. "I'd understand if you'd start avoiding me all together."

Jenny shakes her head no. She's actually relieved this happened. It gives her an equalizer should Angel ever get any ideas. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"Very well, I place myself in your capable hands." Giles offered getting dressed in his torn now shorts.

"Sounds like fun." Jenny teased. "Of course you realize Xander is going to make a game out of trying to get you to Hulk out."

"Yes, I imagine it will give me quiet enough fuel to stay angry likie Dr. Banner does." Giles quipped.

* * *

Xander was laid out with Cordelia wrapped around his arm... as he helplessly tapped out for the arm bar submission she slapped on him.

Cordy got to her feet with a smile. "This is incredible, all the languages, all the combat skills, firearms training. Who wouldn't want to be me? How about you?"

"I think I'm going to be a millionaire by the end of the year." Xander answered all of Tony Stark's ideas floating in his head including his ability to make suits for each scooby. Clean energy. He'll be in the billionaire's club by twenty. Xander smiled and took her by the hands twincest and Hulk booty calls aside this has actually been a fun night. Who would have thought he'd end up spending it with Cordelia of all the people.

The two gently kissed until they broke apart realizing what they were doing. And even more scary who they were doing it with.

"That never happened." Xander demanded.

"Agreed." Cordelia replied.

"Looked like it happened to me."

Xander and Cordy turned around and a snake like yellow skinned demon lunged at Xander who moved aside and tripped its legs as it stumbled into Cordelia who took two seconds to break the creature's neck. The two looked at each other and kissed each other in a mad passionate kiss. Yeah they might be in trouble here.

* * *

Author's Notes

Avengers is owned by Marvel and edged out Justice League by five.

Might do a story called Earth's Mightiest Scoobies that will pick up where this left off adding new Avengers and have them meet the justice league of their world.

Iron Man and Captain America came from regular comics.

Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch came from Ultimate comics.

Widow, Hulk and Betty came from an AU movie verse because I couldn't figure out who to make Jenny so I fused the red and green she hulk together when I decided to make Giles Hulk.


	33. Epilogue

Buffy turned the final page putting an end to the book. Well, she certainly wasn't expecting that. It was a mix of awesome, funny, sad, scary, and other things. She's going to need soap for her eyes from the Xander and Ms. Calendar sleeping together story. She looks up to shout for Willow and Xander and the two approach her. She looks back down and low and behold the book is gone. She knew that would happen.

Willow walked over to her followed by Xander. "Hey Buff what's up?"

"Did you two buy costumes yet?" Buffy asked.

Xander and Willow both shake their heads neither of them did but Xander knows Willow is probably thinking ghost.

Xander looked at her. "Sorry Buff I got nothing."

"I was leaning towards ghost." Willow replied.

Buffy shakes her head. "Let me pick out the costumes for tonight."

Xander looked at her since when does she want to do that and won't this be a little awkward? "Um, Buff, we're not exactly kids here, fully capable of dressing ourselves." Xander pointed out.

Buffy nodded well aware of that. "I know it's just a quirk and I want to make up for Larry as much as possible. So please let me have this one." She moved her lips in a certain that motion that brought every boy in Hemery to his knees.

Xander looked at her no, not the face, not the wounded puppy face, oh god damn it. "Fine!"

"OK Buffy, we trust you." Willow added.

Buffy smiled in relief. She thought this would be harder. OK up first is her. She's saw a couple things that could go her way but in order for this to work to her advantage there's only one thing she can go as. Buffy goes towards the noblewoman dress and does her best doe eyed impression drawing in Ethan.

Ethan smiled. "Oh please allow me."

Buffy looked at him. "I can't afford this." If she has to dress like this she's at least getting a discount.

Ethan scoffed. "Please, I feel quite tempted to make you a deal you can't refuse."

Buffy smiled, what a sucker. "So while you're in such a generous mood do you have a Captain America costume for cheap?"

"I believe I do." Ethan replied walking off to get.

Xander looked at her. "Buff you got it wrong, I prefer my women in spandex."

Buffy rolled her eyes grabbing a pair of triforce earnings. Zelda will more then likely help with her plan. "I can't say I'm surprised but it's not for you. It's for Angel."

Xander frowned well that was just a mean tease. But on the other hand dark and broody Angel is going to be wearing primal red and blue all night. "Oh man I can't wait for this."

Buffy turned to Xander she guesses that means he's next. Now, there are a lot of options she can go with for him and most have happy endings however she wants him to be powerful since he insists on patrolling with her every night. Now she can make him Bloodrayne for the night as a sick joke. But knowing all the craziness that happened from these stories he'll probably remain a girl. The Superman outfit is too risky considering a dash of red paint can turn him into a monster. And Davis Bloom… hell no just, hell no. The perfect costume comes to her and she just throws an item to Xander.

Xander looked at the can his curiosity peaked. "White hair dye?"

"It's defective it turns your hair a bluish purple when you're out in the sun." Buffy informed him. "I figured you could take one of my swords and go as Trunks from Dragon Tales."

"Dragon Ball Z, but definitely doable and still in the two dollar department." Xander said as he cheered up.

Buffy looks at the Hitgirl costume for a moment but quietly walked away thankful Dawn's not real, at least not in this world yet. That would sadly be her choice of costume for her.

Buffy turned and looked at her undoubtedly hardest challenge, Willow. The two costumes she remembers are Wanda which will wig her out till the days she dies and Rayne which will… wig her out till the day she dies knowing they could end up sleeping together. Maybe she can dress Willow in one of hers.

Xander looked at a costume that seemed like a good fit for the redhead. "How about X-23?"

"No!" Buffy shouted seeing the whole store look at her as she awkwardly went looking. She looked at a costume and yep one of hers. "Here we are."

Willow looked at it as her eyes widened that's a leather bathing suit. "YOU WANT ME TO DRESS UP LIKE XENA!"

Buffy nodded. "I'm sick of being the Slayer; I'm taking the night off Willow you're taking over."

"But I can't!" Willow practically shrieked.

Buffy looked at Xander. "Tell her she can."

Xander looked at Buffy and looked at Willow. "Willow you'd look amazing in that."

"Really?" Willow asked.

"Really, really." Xander assured her.

Buffy thought it over maybe Cordy was onto something with the secret identity. "We can even dye your hair to hide who you are? I have brunette from last year last year it's... private."

Willow smiled looking at the two they won't let up. "Ok, I'll try."

Buffy smiled taking all the costumes up front, Halloween's greatest hits. Willow with enough knowledge to become her equal in a fight, Xander raw power beyond anything, Her with mystical powers added to slayer powers and Angel at ultimate physical condition as a human. Thank you little black book.

THE END

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Author's Notes

Thank you to everyone who reviewed a fics in this series followed or favorited it and I hope you all enjoyed it.

Yes I picked the costumes for the epilogue for a reason.

There will be a sequel to the epilogue one day called World's End but I want to finish my current fics before moving on to anymore but Holiday one shots should be up next month.


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